Category: 3WTP

By on November 17, 2015

taurus2

Like the song says, I always feel like… somebody’s watching me. But rarely are they as obvious as this old Taurus I spotted north of Columbus, Ohio over the weekend.

What’s going on here, B&B?

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By on June 18, 2015

promaster

There are few traditions at TTAC as hallowed as that of the “low-quality point-and-shoot photo used as centerpiece of article”. The undisputed master of this genre, the Mapplethorpe of the grainy tree-growing-mysteriously-out-of-a-car’s-trunk-just-above-the-glowing-date-stamped-on-the-shot, was TrueDelta’s Michael “TrueDelta” Karesh, of TrueDelta. Some of his work was so bad it approached the status of art. If I had space on my walls at home, I’d enlarge and frame some of the shots, and give them names, like Silver Hump On Equally Silver Car, In Shadow. Then I would sell them to wealthy Russian immigrants and become rich enough to fund my long-awaited Lifetime autobiographical movie in which Colin Farrell would get fat just so he could play me in my forties.

So as you look at the Zaxxon-esque pixelation of the above photo, try to think of it less as “Jack doesn’t own an actual camera” and more like “Jack is honoring the spirits of all who have gone before under the red-and-white masthead”. Or something like that. And before you waste too much time trying to figure out what the photo actually shows, I’ll tell you: it’s the door hinge on a nearly new RAM ProMaster cargo van, and it is rusting.

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By on March 4, 2015

morequal

I was not exactly charmed by the current-generation Malibu when I reviewed it last summer. Its Kamm-tailed predecessor had enough virtue to face the Japanese-brand midsizers squarely on their own turf and come away with at least a respectable, stylish showing, but the current car is a retrograde step in everything from its regrettably truckish styling to its lowered-expectations driving dynamics.

Turns out that I’m not the only person, or corporation, if that’s not the same thing in 2015 anyway, who feels that way. If you’re renting at certain airports, you’ll have the chance to enjoy the Malibu at the same kind of deep discount it currently requires in order to slip the surly bonds of drab GM dealerships. I asked a rental-industry insider why that might be so.

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By on January 6, 2015

nextlevel

It’s a terrible stereotype on the Internet that Toyota drivers in general, and Corolla drivers in particular, are the least demanding, least discerning, and least conscious drivers in America. Yet Toyota keeps blatantly demonstrating their corporate buy-in to that particular preconception. As seen here.

This latest Sponsored Tweet from the world’s most successful automaker gives you a pretty good idea of how Corolla buyers view the world. OMFG IT HAS NAV. JUST LIKE THE 1999 C-CLASS, AND MY TRACFONE. Whatever. Welcome to the next level. We have nav.

By on November 8, 2014

mazda2

This was the sight that greeted me when I left work this afternoon: one of the least popular cars on the American market and the Camry-on-stilts that drives the most successful brand to debut in America since the Vietnam War. The Mazda2 is often used by automotive journalists as an example of The Car That Real People Don’t Buy despite the fact that it possesses the cardinal virtues of small size, light weight, and a responsive chassis.

The Lexus RX, on the other hand, is the most cynical effort in additional manufacturer profit since the Cadillac Cimmarron and is the upscale vehicle most often purchased by the people who don’t know a God-damned thing about cars.

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By on July 16, 2014

forester

The use of the word “petrol” should clue you in a bit here.
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By on December 4, 2013

saab97

On the same day that a Chinese firm announced that it would restart production of the 9-3, I happened to bump into the poster child for Saab’s decline and fall.

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By on November 8, 2013

IMG_20131107_133152

I’m not sure why a generation or two ago municipalities replaced the old Walk / Don’t Walk crossing signals with lights using pictograms instead. Perhaps someone thought they were more easily understood, or perhaps it was part of general trend towards using international symbols, like the little fuel pump by your gas gauge instead of the word “Fuel”. Either way, Walk / Don’t Walk was considered obsolete. Now, it seems as though the pictograms just weren’t that easily understood, as we apparently have to explain to people that a red hand means “don’t walk” and that a white pictogram of a person walking means “walk”. Read More >

By on October 30, 2013

kblock

On this one you’ll probably have to click the photo so you can appreciate this anonymous commenter’s response in all its smoking glory…

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By on October 27, 2013

mustang

Just try driving that Mustang past this checkpoint, pal; we’ll fill you up with M855 Ball faster than you can say “PI heads add torque and subtract nothing!”

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By on October 16, 2013

gtr

Alright, take a close look. There’s something not quite right about this picture of a brand-new Nissan GT-R luxuriating in a rather fancy garage. Any ideas?

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By on April 12, 2013

In the weeks to come, you will be treated to a set of racing tales to make the most ardent consumer of Schadenfreude blush. Read More >

By on December 3, 2012

Before the moose test, there was the rhino test. Read More >

By on October 3, 2012

The exalted community of Panther-platform enthusiasts has a term for people who deliberately make their Crown Vics look like working undercover/plainclothes police cars: “wackers”.

You can’t call this fellow a “wacker”. “Wack”, on the other hand…

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By on September 30, 2012

Photo credit: Cars In Depth

If you’re an average Mopar enthusiast you may be wondering what the front of a Plymouth Valiant is doing on a 1963 Dodge Dart. Unlike urban legends about cars with front ends from one brand and rear ends from another of that automaker’s brands that was being built on the same assembly line, and unlike custom car mashups, this was factory built and sold by authorized dealers.

If you were born after the Beatles first appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show you can be excused for not knowing this, but  Dodge Darts and Plymouth Valiants weren’t always badge engineered twins. In 1963 they were more like bigger and smaller brothers, with an odd Canadian cousin in the family.

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