What's Wrong With This Picture: Two Mules, One Market Edition
As we’ve already seen, BMW is building a record number of variants of its next-generation 3 Series, including “GT” hatchback and X4 “Sport Activity Coupe.” But as this photo shows, there is at least one other Dreier bodystyle that we hadn’t heard about yet: the long wheelbase sedan (top). Given the brand’s post-Bangle swing towards extreme styling consistency, the decision between a LWB 3 series and a 5 series seems to have serious head-scratching potential… but it’s not something we’ll have to worry about. The LWB sports sedan will only be sold in China, according to Auto Motor und Sport, where upmarket buyers favor chauffeurs… even in the Ultimate Driving Machine.
What's Wrong With This Picture: Surveillance In The Age Of Taurus Edition
Like the song says, I always feel like… somebody’s watching me. But rarely are they as obvious as this old Taurus I spotted north of Columbus, Ohio over the weekend.
What’s going on here, B&B?
What's Wrong With This Picture: ProMaster Of Rustbits Edition
There are few traditions at TTAC as hallowed as that of the “low-quality point-and-shoot photo used as centerpiece of article”. The undisputed master of this genre, the Mapplethorpe of the grainy tree-growing-mysteriously-out-of-a-car’s-trunk-just-above-the-glowing-date-stamped-on-the-shot, was TrueDelta’s Michael “TrueDelta” Karesh, of TrueDelta. Some of his work was so bad it approached the status of art. If I had space on my walls at home, I’d enlarge and frame some of the shots, and give them names, like Silver Hump On Equally Silver Car, In Shadow. Then I would sell them to wealthy Russian immigrants and become rich enough to fund my long-awaited Lifetime autobiographical movie in which Colin Farrell would get fat just so he could play me in my forties.
So as you look at the Zaxxon-esque pixelation of the above photo, try to think of it less as “Jack doesn’t own an actual camera” and more like “Jack is honoring the spirits of all who have gone before under the red-and-white masthead”. Or something like that. And before you waste too much time trying to figure out what the photo actually shows, I’ll tell you: it’s the door hinge on a nearly new RAM ProMaster cargo van, and it is rusting.
What's Wrong With This Picture: But Some Are More Equal Than Others Edition
I was not exactly charmed by the current-generation Malibu when I reviewed it last summer. Its Kamm-tailed predecessor had enough virtue to face the Japanese-brand midsizers squarely on their own turf and come away with at least a respectable, stylish showing, but the current car is a retrograde step in everything from its regrettably truckish styling to its lowered-expectations driving dynamics.
Turns out that I’m not the only person, or corporation, if that’s not the same thing in 2015 anyway, who feels that way. If you’re renting at certain airports, you’ll have the chance to enjoy the Malibu at the same kind of deep discount it currently requires in order to slip the surly bonds of drab GM dealerships. I asked a rental-industry insider why that might be so.
What's Wrong With This Picture: What Level Did We Start On Edition
What's Wrong With This Picture: Americans Don't Buy Hatchbacks Edition
This was the sight that greeted me when I left work this afternoon: one of the least popular cars on the American market and the Camry-on-stilts that drives the most successful brand to debut in America since the Vietnam War. The Mazda2 is often used by automotive journalists as an example of The Car That Real People Don’t Buy despite the fact that it possesses the cardinal virtues of small size, light weight, and a responsive chassis.
The Lexus RX, on the other hand, is the most cynical effort in additional manufacturer profit since the Cadillac Cimmarron and is the upscale vehicle most often purchased by the people who don’t know a God-damned thing about cars.
What's Wrong With This Picture: And It's All Small Stuff Edition
On the same day that a Chinese firm announced that it would restart production of the 9-3, I happened to bump into the poster child for Saab’s decline and fall.
What's Wrong With This Picture?: When Did We Get This Stupid?
I’m not sure why a generation or two ago municipalities replaced the old Walk / Don’t Walk crossing signals with lights using pictograms instead. Perhaps someone thought they were more easily understood, or perhaps it was part of general trend towards using international symbols, like the little fuel pump by your gas gauge instead of the word “Fuel”. Either way, Walk / Don’t Walk was considered obsolete. Now, it seems as though the pictograms just weren’t that easily understood, as we apparently have to explain to people that a red hand means “don’t walk” and that a white pictogram of a person walking means “walk”.
What's Wrong With This Picture: Burning Down The Block Edition
On this one you’ll probably have to click the photo so you can appreciate this anonymous commenter’s response in all its smoking glory…
What's Wrong With That Picture: New Edging Punishable By Death Edition
Just try driving that Mustang past this checkpoint, pal; we’ll fill you up with M855 Ball faster than you can say “PI heads add torque and subtract nothing!”
What's Wrong With This Picture: Some Of The Pixels Edition
Alright, take a close look. There’s something not quite right about this picture of a brand-new Nissan GT-R luxuriating in a rather fancy garage. Any ideas?
Meanwhile In Quebec
In the weeks to come, you will be treated to a set of racing tales to make the most ardent consumer of Schadenfreude blush.
What's Wrong With This Picture: Carmelo Anthony Edition
The exalted community of Panther-platform enthusiasts has a term for people who deliberately make their Crown Vics look like working undercover/plainclothes police cars: “wackers”.
You can’t call this fellow a “wacker”. “Wack”, on the other hand…
What's Wrong With This Picture? Valiantly Different in Canada
If you’re an average Mopar enthusiast you may be wondering what the front of a Plymouth Valiant is doing on a 1963 Dodge Dart. Unlike urban legends about cars with front ends from one brand and rear ends from another of that automaker’s brands that was being built on the same assembly line, and unlike custom car mashups, this was factory built and sold by authorized dealers.
If you were born after the Beatles first appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show you can be excused for not knowing this, but Dodge Darts and Plymouth Valiants weren’t always badge engineered twins. In 1963 they were more like bigger and smaller brothers, with an odd Canadian cousin in the family.
What's Wrong With This Picture: Why These Ads, Indeed
It’s easy to tell when you’re spending too much time emailing people about cars: your GMail ads start looking like this. The Miata ad probably comes from our comparison test winner, and the Mustang GT ad might be from the Zeroth Place Mustang. Notice anything odd about the GT500 ad?
What's Wrong With This Picture: We Pay For The Tires Edition
A little-known paragraph in most press-car loaner agreements states that “The vehicle may not be used for competitive purposes.” When you buy your own cars, however, you can do whatever you like. Our (not-so-much-of-a-)mystery contributor, Bark M., wanted to get an SCCA event under his Mustang’s belt before the temp tags ran out. He drove it back to back with an AP1 Honda S2000, and perhaps we’ll get some impressions from him in the near future.
But the question remains? What’s wrong with this picture?
What's Wrong With This Picture: I'm Just Not Sure That Was Even Correct At The Time The Banner Was Printed Edition
TTAC contributor-by-virtue-of-being-related-to-a-contributor “Bark M.” is in New York this week, without his new Boss 302, and sends this shot taken through the dealership window at Manhattan Jeep-Chrysler-Dodge.
What's Right With This Picture: A Father's Advice
I remember sitting on the pitlane wall at VIR in November of 2009, head in my hands, absolutely freaking out. In my Koni Challenge debut, I’d run about two seconds a lap behind my teammates Randy Pobst and 2008 series champion Jamie Holtom. The data said the difference was entirely confined to Turns 9 and 10, but no matter what I tried in those turns to fix the gap, it wasn’t good enough. I’d been pushed off the Climbing Esses by a GS-class Porsche 911, I’d struggled with brakes that were so bad Holtom refused to drive the car after me for more than two laps without a rotor change, and I had the distinct feeling that I’d let my team, Grand-Am champions Compass360, completely down.
What's Wrong With This Picture? WTF Is It Edition.
Almost every time I go to a car show I see something that reminds me that skill in shaping metal and plastic doesn’t necessarily translate into aesthetic taste or talent. Last year at a Woodward Dream Cruise event I saw what at first glance appeared to be sort of a Dodge Viper, but actually was a C4 Corvette with some creative fiberglass work. Then, a few weeks ago at a spring shine-n-show in northwest Detroit I spotted this not-so-cute ute.
What's Wrong With This Picture: Where's The Tailpipe? Edition
What's Wrong With This Picture: Ontogeny Recapitulates Phylogeny Edition
What's Wrong With This Picture: Meanwhile In Europe Edition
What's Wrong With This Picture: And It's Never Coming Back Edition
We all know Google’s evil hivemind constantly scans your GMail and targets advertisements to your recent mail threads. As a result, I’ve seen stuff from “Reliable Pregnancy Testing” to “Hundreds Of Collings Guitars In Stock” over the past few years, but what I saw this morning — “Check Out The Features Of The 2011 Lincoln Town Car” — intrigued me.
Why is Ford paying good money to direct people to the website pictured above?
What's Wrong With This Picture: Have You Ridden In A Ford Lately Edition
“Heritage” is a funny thing. Lamborghini wants to use it to sell you a shopping trolley. Chevrolet hopes you’ll see some of the spirit of the Sixties Impala in their current Azera-like.
What does Ford want?
What's Wrong With This Picture? Alan Leamy's Spinning Faster Than A Supercharged Model J Over the "Tom Mix" Duesenberg Edition
The third worst thing about this car is the fact that it’s known as the “ Tom Mix Duesenberg” though western actor Tom Mix had apparently had absolutely nothing to do with it. That was a ginned up provenance by a former owner of the car. The second worst thing would be that somebody thought that the car pictured above looked better than the Murphy built Beverly Berline body styled by Gordon Buehrig pictured here:
What's Wrong With This Picture: That Had Better Come With Free Blinker Fluid For Life Edition
Grizzled automotive veterans of the VRA (that’s Voluntary Restraint Agreement to you whipper-snappers) often wake in the night screaming about “ADP! ADP!” That’s “Additional Dealer Profit”, a little markup sticker found on everything from Accords to Z-Cars in the Reagan era. Honda dealers were perhaps the worst offenders, adding as much as three thousand dollars’ worth of pure markup to vehicles which often had MSRPs below ten grand.
There’s no “agreement” on the books that limits the number of Elantras that Hyundai can import from the far-off land of Alabama (or, in the case of this Touring model, Korea) but it looks like at least one dealer has decided to revive the glory days of automotive “stealerships”…
What's Wrong With This Picture: Just Not Right Now Edition
Weekend Weird Crush: "The Small God For The Big Future"
Maruti Suzuki’s big news at the Delhi Auto Show was the debut of its production compact MPV, the Ertiga. But it wasn’t all staid family-carriers at the Suzuki stand, as the Japanese-Indian automaker also debuted its XA Alpha concept, described in this dramatically-narrated (to put it mildly) video as “The Small God For The Big Future.” Remember the Suzuki Samurai (our global readers will certainly remember the Jimny)? It’s getting ready for its 21st Century makeover…
NAIAS Preview: Ford Serves Up Some Global Fusion
Ever since the ill-fated Contour experiment, Ford has maintained a strict separation in its global midsized offerings: Fusion for the Americas and Mondeo for Europe (let’s ignore, for the moment, Australia’s Falcon as the doomed atavism it is). But under the global “One Ford” strategy, a fusion (ahem) of The Blue Oval’s midsized offerings was inevitable, and Ford has signaled for some time that the Fusion and Mondeo are on the verge of becoming one. And here, courtesy of the autoforum.cz, is the first leaked image of Ford’s unified, world-wide midsized contender: though the Fusion and Mondeo names will continue to be used in their respective markets, this car will carry both badges. But are we looking at a revolution in the oft-troubled “world car” game, or a repeat of the Contour’s compromises? Only time will tell…
Tiny (12cc) Hand-Machined V12 Is A Holiday Miracle
Need an engineering project? Got 1,200 hours to kill with nothing to do? Take a tip from this heroically patient Spaniard, and hand-machine your own tiny (12 cc displacement) V12. This would be amazing feat of handwork even if it weren’t fully operational (using compressed air injection), but the fact that it works, runs and was made without a single CNC machine is nothing short of astounding.. If, as the book suggests, Shop Class is Soulcraft, this guy is like an engineering bodhisattva, inspiring us with his precision, patience and skill. In a world where not much is made by hand anymore, this achievement is worth taking a few minutes to marvel over… [Hat Tip: Dean Huston]
What's Wrong With This Picture: I Believe I Asked For A Small Mokka Edition
At first glance, it’s fairly obvious that there’s something not quite right with this picture. Better than most photoshops or renderings, but not quite convincing as a real picture, this car seems trapped in the Uncanny Valley, as if it were photographed undergoing winter testing on the set of the film The Polar Express. In any case, this little Corsa-based CUV (allegedly to be named “Mokka”) will debut at the Geneva Auto Show, and will take on such B-segment crossovers as the Nissan Juke, Suzuki SX4 and Ford’s forthcoming new Ecosport.
Meanwhile, GM’s American-market interpretation of a B-segment CUV is likely to be quite different from these little rough-and-ready softroaders [Ed: Or, not]. Buick is slow-strip-teasing its forthcoming Encore on Facebook, and it’s already looking like the Baby Enclave rumors were well-founded in terms of its exterior design. On the other hand, this isn’t a wildly detailed photo, so who knows? Either way, both the Mokka and the Encore are based on a jacked-up version of the Gamma II subcompact platform, and based on a video of what appears to be some relatively early chassis testing, the short-wheelbase and tall suspension took a little taming. Hit the jump to see for yourself…
What's Wrong With This Picture: A Mini's Progress Edition
My two weeks in Europe has drawn to a close, and I’m back at my familiar desk, in front of my familiar computer, catching up on all the automotive happenings I missed, contemplating my transition out of TTAC’s day-to-day leadership, and reflecting on all I saw over my whirlwind two weeks. And though you haven’t heard from me much in the last two weeks, rest assured that I have not forgotten TTAC, nor have I missed any opportunities to accumulate impressions from the automotive landscape of modern Europe.
Scion FR-S: How To Say "Hachi-Roku" In American
Volkswagen Crosses Its Tiguan
What's Wrong With This Picture? Famous Car Intellectual Property Edition
Wintertime is coming, mama, the windows are filled with frost. So I went over to the nearby strip mall to get some thermal underwear. That doesn’t rhyme even half as well as Dylan’s most forced rhymes, but it’s really what happened. There’s a C.W. Price store in the mall. It used to be a location of the A.J. Wright chain that went under, and from the looks of things, all they needed to change were the signs. C.W. Price carries pretty much the same overstocked and distressed merchandise as A.J. Wright. Not quite as depressing as shopping at Big Lots but definitely not the Somerset Collection. While I was at the store of course I had to check out the cheap R/C cars that they had on sale for $6.99 and $7.99 with the other Christmas toys. At first glance they looked like Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Bugattis and Ford GTs. Actually, at second and third glance they still looked like those cars, scale models accurate down to the Veyron’s distinctive black hood, horseshoe Bugatti grille and exposed mid-mounted W16 engine.
What's Wrong With This Picture: The Ultimate Driving… Van? Edition
Which European automaker is working on this compact, front-drive MPV? It might look like a VW or Opel, but in fact it’s coming from the Roundel itself. BMW will release this five-seat, start-stop-equipped van sometime in 2014, giving its Euro-market customers an alternative to Mercedes’s B-Class van. But because this is still a BMW, a two-liter turbo engine option will be offered, giving this otherwise humble little MPV a 245 HP kick. Still, this will be the most prosaic offering from a firm built around rear drive and six-cylinder engines. And though Mercedes is bringing at least one front-drive model to the US market, expect BMW to maintain its premium positioning here by keeping this MPV in the European market, where such efficient vehicles are not seen as being incompatible with a luxury brand.
Give Thanks For Jag's New XF Sportbrake
With luxury brands from Bentley to Maserati building “on-road SUVs” in search of ever-greater profits, Jaguar’s decision to build a traditional station wagon is something of a Connolly leather glove’d slap in the face of the luxury game. That’s right, this isn’t some wobbly, lozenge-shaped crossover, or some garish, blinged-out SUV; it’s just a clean, simple Jag-wagon. Or “XF Sportbrake,” as Auto Motor und Sport insists on calling it. And though it may not be the most practical wagon, with its cargo area apparently styled for slim looks rather than capacity, it will be available with AWD, along with the rest of the XF line. Oh yeah, and a 510 HP XFR wagon should be an option as well… you know, for the journalists. All of which sounds like news to be very thankful for this Thanksgiving. Remember: this could have been a crossover!
Data Of The Day: An Interactive Map Showing EV/Hybrid Sales By Location
Everyone knows TTAC hearts data, so this little NPR/Edmunds collaboration, which maps hybrid and EV sales by locality, is right up our HOV lane.
Next-Gen M3 Kicks Up Its Heels, Cackles
With engine management technologies creating ever-more refined, well-behaved engines, the snap-crackle-pop overrun at the beginning of this video is an increasingly rare throwback to the time when men were men and engines could blow up at any second. Sure, such playfulness will probably be managed out of existence by the time the F30 M3 hits dealerships, but it seems like a good omen for the M3’s return to six-cylinder power. In fact, it might even be possible that the backfire heard here has something to do with the electric turbocharger that’s rumored to give the new M3 lag-free turbo performance… but then you’d probably be a better judge of that than I.
Never Mind The Growing Gap Between Oil Production And Consumption, Here's The SLS Black Series
Last Monday, we regaled you out with stories of Toyota coming to grips with the “new peak oil,” and other topics related to the growing gap ( or lack thereof?) between global production and consumption oil. This week I’m feeling a little less apocalyptic, and little bit more indulgent. And really, why not celebrate those precious hydrocarbons while they’re still cheap and plentiful? This Mercedes SLS AMG Black Series may burn ’em by the bushel, but it sure sounds good doing it. And though cars like the forthcoming 650 HP Shelby Mustang GT500 prove that performance is still alive in the 21st Century, high-revving, large-displacement, naturally-aspirated V8s like the AMG Black’s are going to be facing special challenges under future emissions standards. Which makes its gargling, chortling music all the sweeter to my ears…
LA Auto Show: Live From Lincoln's New Nose
LA Auto Show: Coda Electric Sedan
Volkswagen Goes Postal, Develops The Electric "Fridolin" Of The Future
Are you familiar with the Fridolin? If so, hit the jump. If not, here’s the brief version of its history. Unhappy with its adorable but inadequate, two-cylinder Goggomobil Transporters, the German Postal Service approached Volkswagen and Westfalia in the early 60s, looking for a new interpretation of what it was looking for, namely “arbeitspsychologisch optimaler Ausstattung zu einem günstigen Anschaffungspreis.” This is a tough phrase to translate, but essentially it means “equipment optimized for the workplace psychology, at an affordable price,” and in 1963 that’s what the VW-Westalia team delivered. A mixture of Type 1 (Beetle), Type 2 (Bus) and Type 3 (Fastback/Squareback), the Type 147 was first shown to the German Post in 1963, and was quickly nicknamed “Fridolin” (an uncommon German boy’s name) apparently because workers said “it looks like a Fridolin.” Only 6,126 were built between 1964 and 1973, and they continue to enjoy a strong collector’s cachet ( primarily as slammed campers, apparently). And now, Volkswagen wants to re-create the classic… for the future.
Mastretta MXT: Neither Lazy, Feckless Nor Flatulent
The Mastretta MXT is not very well-known outside of Top Gear buffs who recall Jeremy Clarkson giving the MXT an incredibly hard time for its Mexican heritage. Of course we all know Jeremy is a shock jock more than a motor head these days, so his opinion aside the MXT slots in right behind the Doking as one the more interesting cars on display in Los Angeles. The MXT is the first sports car designed and built-in Mexico, but rather than trying to dethrone Corvette or Mustang, Mastretta is going for the niche market of small, light kit cars. Yes, kit cars. At least north of the border…
LA Auto Show: Volvo's New Dash
Infiniti JX: Three Rows, But Only Six Cylinders
LA Auto Show: Bentley Meets Its Market
What The Foxtrot Is a Doking?
Chevy: Sparks Fly In Los Angeles
Honda Launches Fit EV, But Civic GX Takes Green Car Prize
LA Auto Show: Jaguar and Land Rover
What's Wrong With This Picture: Lord Love A Lincoln Edition
Mazda CX-5: Mazda's New Look Hits The Streets
2013 Hyundai Azera: Look Out LaCrosse
Cadillac XTS Debuts, Doesn't "Blow The Doors Off"
Throughout its history, Cadillac has fed the press some glorious concept cars dripping with opulence, snazzy features and WTF styling. This works when production cars live up to the concept’s hype, but a history of histrionics is less helpful when you’re launching a car that somehow defies hype altogether [Ed: see AutoWeek’s headline: “Cadillac aims its flagship XTS at imports and traditional buyers”]. Don’t get it wrong, the XTS is not intended as a true flagship for the brand (GM’s release calls it “the newest addition to the lineup” and “the most technologically advanced production car in the brand’s history”), but at the launch at the LA Auto Show the XTS’s FWD proportions, slab sides and generally predictable exterior dominated the first impressions. Put simply, the midsized sedan exudes none of the presence that makes the CTS-V coupe exciting, possibly due to the fact that it has what may be Cadillac’s shortest hood ever. No wonder GM CEO Dan Akerson warned us that the XTS “wouldn’t blow the doors off” the competition.
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