Rumors involving Chinese automaker SAIC in Saab’s rescue plans have been percolating for some time now. Christian Von Koenigsegg raised the possibility in an Auto Motor and Sport interview [via Saabsunited], saying, “we may look at producing Saabs for China, in China.” Then came word from an anonymous source quoted in Reuters as saying, “SAIC is considering taking a stake in Saab but has not made up its mind or the size of any possible investment.” And yet, mysteriously, it seems that Koenigsegg’s $420M financing shortfall has magically disappeared. SAIC refuses to confirm that it is the anonymous funding source, pleading shyness in the wake of its recent disastrous ownership of Korean automaker Ssangyong.

BMW’s Norbert Reithofer scored some brownie points in Old Blighty by “ confirming” that “the MINI Coupe concept car and another new MINI model [SPOILER ALERT: it’s a roadster] will both be built at Oxford.” Jolly good and all that, but Ze Germans just laid off 850 Oxford employees in February. So, are the Coupe and Roadster being fast-tracked for production? “We can’t put a number on it yet,” says Reithofer. “It will be years before we begin production. It takes time to scale up.” But why let that ruin some good hype?

One of the lingering holdovers from the Daimler-Chrysler era, Sprinters at the Dodge dealer, is coming to an end. Automotive News [sub] reports that the commercial/recreational vans will be yanked from Dodge dealerships starting January 1, and will be sold at 150 select Mercedes dealers going forward. 45 Freightliner dealers will continue to sell Sprinters under the Freightliner brand, but all remaining Sprinters will be sold as Mercedes models under the new distribution plan. Which begs the question: why?

The “Toyota is the new GM” meme is a provocative one. After all, prior to GM’s decades-long unraveling its dominance of the industry put Toyota’s tentative top-dog status to shame. GM’s decline proved once and for all that no make, model or brand can coast on being “number one” alone. Which is why I want to believe that Lexus is shaping up to be the new Buick, as Mark Phelan insists at the Freep.

Yes, it’s different. Hit the jump to find out how.

The Detroit News reports that GM is removing its “Mark of Excellence” badges from its entire lineup, starting with the new Chevy Equinox. “We are just really focused on the four core brands and this provided us with another opportunity to make sure they were at the forefront,” say GM spokefolks. “Plus people on Twitter were making fun of them.” Okay, so the last part is made up. Still, about time, no? As industry commentators never tire of mentioning, consumers don’t buy GM as a brand, they buy Chevys, Buicks, Cadillacs and GMCs. Okay, they buy Chevys. Anyway, what’s the point of having four separate versions of every platform if there’s a badge reminding everyone that they’re all basically the same? Don’t answer that, it’s a rhetorical question. Instead, hit the jump to learn how to de-Mark of Excellence your ride.

Dodge doesn’t compete in NASCAR to test new technology. Nor does NASCAR highlight fundamental attributes of Dodge vehicles the way, say, Subaru’s rally competition does. So why stick around when resources are so tight? “NASCAR fans love performance and Dodge fans love to win,” explains Michael Accavitti, Director of Dodge Brand and SRT Marketing at Chrysler Blog. “It’s always been a match made in heaven and we intend to remain involved in the NASCAR sport for the foreseeable future.”

Volkswagen of America boss man Stefan Jacoby speaks with the Detroit News about VW’s US strategy going forward while admitting a few missteps. Jacoby acknowledges, for example, that the Passat “is too small, and it is almost knocking at the doors of the premium segment. That’s not where the volume is. What we need to do is improve our competitiveness in pricing.” And how does that admission jive with VW’s plan to bring the Phaeton back to the US? Keine ahnung. The DetN never asked.

Hyundai has announced that its Equus luxury flagship is headed stateside in “late 2010.” The New York Times seems to believe that the Equus “is not likely to be called the Equus,” when it arrives. Google the name without “Hyundai” to find out why. So does the rush to market mean Hyundai has abandoned plans for a Genesis-based brand spin-off adventure? Let’s hope so. This is no stretched Azera (it’s a stretched Genesis), but it’s said to be priced starting “under $60K.” Which means Cadillac’s 2012 XTS “flagship” won’t even be a “Hyundai fighter.” How the world changes.

As part of today’s wander through hyperspace, GM attempts to answer a riddle that would have vexed a Theban: “What makes a Chevy a Chevy?” To which the only possible answer is “everything to everyone.” GMC receives the same treatment, in which we learn that the Professional Grade Brand “has a great opportunity to get away from where Chevy is.” (Whatever is is.) But when a Fastlane commenter asked GM Senior Creative Designer Dave Smidebush “why should we order a Terrain over the Equinox?” his answer was an enigma wrapped in a puzzle lost in a Vortec.

Dave Smidebush: Thank you. THey’re [sic] both great vehicles. Buy the one that appeals best to you but I’m a little partial to the Terrain!

If that doesn’t scream “differentiation,” what does?

Just as GM is prepping a green themed “230” Volt hype campaign, comes word from Automotive News [sub] that green is so 2003. “For all the talk about green vehicles,” intones the industry rag, “blue is the new color of choice to embody clean driving.” Did you think that Mercedes BlueTec and VW/Audi’s “AdBlue” names came from the blue tint of their diesel-emissions-treating urea fluids? Nope. “The color blue is associated with freshness, dynamism and lightness,” say VW flacks. And according to Hans Tempel, president of Mercedes-Benz Japan, “Blue perfectly encapsulates the cool, clear sky of a world unsullied by greenhouse gases.” Gagging yet? The best eco-chromatic marketing analysis awaits post-jump.

Toyota has been remarkably upfront about its struggles with “Big Company Syndrome.” The fate of Toyota’s predecessor as the world’s largest automaker is an unavoidable example of what awaits giant manufacturers that lose their focus. And yet, as Toyota has replaced GM as the big daddy of car building, it keeps making eerily familiar mistakes. And its no surprise that Toyota’s challenges tend to center around marketing and brand management (hello, Scion). Toyota’s brand is a by-product of its obsession with manufacturing, rather than an independently developed, carefully-maintained image. The trademark Toyota brand qualities of quality and reliability are built on dedication and reputation, not the modern-day alchemy of marketing, sales strategies and brand-pushing. So why is Toyota telling Automotive News [sub] that it’s creating a wholly-owned subsidiary to coordinate global marketing and advertising? And why is Akio Toyoda going to be running the new marketing realm?

“With this new brand manifesto campaign, we set out to reintroduce Scion to young, urban consumers by reinforcing the company’s unique position as an authentic brand that is all about creativity and individuality.”

Simon Needham of of Attik, creator of Scion’s new “Brand Manifesto” campaign. Which makes Scion look like that drunk guy at the party who’s met you three times but doesn’t remember. Just play along. Oh, you’re into big wheels and bodykits? How interesting. “Become one of us by becoming none of us?” How individual. On the other hand, at least Scion’s repetition is better than those NSFW hamsters.

As Old GM’s satellite divisions fly out of orbit, sending the company’s “world car” development plans spinning off into chaos, GM NA is trying to defy gravity with a new, limited product portfolio. Or something like that. Bottom line: Buick is planning to sell the rejigged Opel Insignia—formerly destined to replace the Saturn Aura—as the new Buick Regal. Automotive News [AN, sub] wants readers to clock the fact that the new Regal will slot below the new LaCrosse—because otherwise they might not wonder . . .

OK, that’s a bit of a surprise. Who would have guessed that Lutz’s two first post-unretirement announcements would have heralded a Chevy rebadge and the cancelation of a higher-performance Camaro? Is the age of Maximum over after all? “Any fears that the days of high-performance General Motors cars may be numbered or totally over can be allayed,” Lutz tells Automobile. “There is no pressure at all to get off the high-performance thing.” But clearly there is. According to Automobile’s write-up, the Z28 “was apparently put on hold due to both cost constraints and concerns about the blatant political incorrectness of building a gas-guzzling, super pony car.” So which is it? Bob?

A brand is a promise to a consumer. When a brand’s products fail to live up to the consumer’s expectations (i.e. the promise in THEIR mind), they are right never to trust it again. Why should a screwed customer give GM another chance? We’re not talking about sewing machines here. An automobile is the average consumer’s second most expensive purchase (after their house). They have every right—indeed an obligation to the people who depend on them—to err on the side of caution. To AVOID risking the money upon which their family relies. I repeat: if they’re satisfied with their current car company, they would do their family a disservice to put their money at risk.

Rumors surrounding a possible Buick Theta-based CUV are being amplified by rumors that the Saturn VUE plug-in hybrid will make it to market under a different brand. GM’s Tom Stephens confirms to Reuters that a plug-in ute will be available in 2011 (as planned), just under a different brand name. With rumors of a hybrid powertrain in the works for the forthcoming LaCrosse, green may be yet another new attribute for the brand confusion that is Buick. “We’ve got a strategy that says there are no silver bullets,” as Stephens says, curiously ignoring the Volt. “We need all of this.” Which, in a nutshell, is the attitude that is destroying Buick…

Bloomberg is reporting that GM CEO Fritz Henderson will meet with Toyota President Akio Toyoda this August, and that a GM rebadge of the Prius could be on the agenda. “Two people familiar with the plan” confirm the Prius angle, and with the death of the Pontiac Vibe, GM certainly has to figure out what it will do with its NUMMI capacity which it shares with Toyota. “Having a stronger line-up is an urgent matter for GM,” says Yoshihiro Okumura of Chiba-gin Asset Management Co. “Demand will continue to shift to small cars.” But neither automaker will even confirm that plans for an executive meeting of the minds is on the table. Moreover, as Jim Hall of 2953 Analytics points out, “Toyota is not normally in the practice of giving away the crown jewels.” On the other hand, GM has recently canceled its only hybrid car, the Malibu Hybrid, and the sale of Saturn to Penske will further cut into its hybrid offerings.

UPDATE: Our Frank Williams points out a GM press release that just hit the wires which says “As part of its long-term viability plan, General Motors has decided that its ownership stake in the New United Motor Manufacturing Incorporated (NUMMI) joint venture with Toyota will not be a part of the ‘New GM.’” The plot thickens.

GM is walking away from its Saturn Vue and Pontiac Torrent Theta-based CUVs, bringing its Thetan, uh, Theta CUV levels to just the Equinox and the SRX. And the just released GMC Terrain. And the forthcoming Saab 9-4X. And now a clay model of a Buick Theta CUV has surfaced on CBS’s Early Show, along with rumors of a 2012 launch (and dual-mode hybrid version). Assuming the Saturn Vue is sold for a few more years by the Penske boyz, and the Suzuki XL7 soldiers on a bit longer, we’re looking at the prospect of seven versions of the same platform in one market. Re:invention or déjà vu?

According to the Freep, Fiat’s Sergio Marchionne is planning on running its Alfa Romeo right at the heart of the established import luxury market. With an LX-platform 169 sedan (still an acknowledged maybe) and a “GTX” version of the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee. This is in line with Global Insight‘s breakdown of the Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep/Fiat/Alfa-Romeo empire. Got brands?

If we’ve learned anything from animated cats over the last several decades, it’s that opposites can attract (and that music video directors get all the good drugs). But if there are serious doubts among analysts about the Fiat-Chrysler hookup, imagine what they’re saying about the Saab-Koenigsegg deal. After all, the buying firm sells one-of-a-kind cars for a cool million dollars a pop while the purchased firm can’t sell reworked GM offerings at zero-percent interest. Is there something rotten in the state of Sweden?

Automotive News [sub] reports that Tata plans on bringing a version of its Nano subcompact to the US market “in about two years.” About? “Maybe two years and six months,” equivocated Tata chairman Ratan Tata at the Cornell Global Forum on Sustainable Enterprise. But the Indian firm faces at least one major challenge: where to sell the thing. Jaguar/Land Rover North America spokesfolks say that “Tata will not use Jaguar Land Rover’s distribution network and vice versa.” For obvious reasons. The Nano boasts none of the small-but-premium appeal of BMW’s MINI or Chrysler’s forthcoming Fiat 500. So where will it sell? Roger Penske’s Saturn World Market? Global Vehicles U.S.A.’s 330-strong Mahindra distribution network? Wal-Mart?