Robert, I am a musician living in New York City since 1997. I have owned a car here since day one, and need one to move my drums around. Since I was a boy I’ve been pretty well obsessed with all kinds of cars, starting with my older brother’s ’68 Mustang, and it seems to just be getting worse with time. Of course I visit TTAC every day, as well as other blogs and forums, and have stacks of car magazines and books at home. My private shame is that the car I own is the beige ’99 Camry LE I bought from, ahem, my mom six years ago. In fact every car I have owned in NYC the last twelve years has been some kind of boring, base model 4-door sedan that blends into the NYC scenery like a dirty paper coffee cup on the sidewalk. With the exception of a too-short ownership of a ’71 Dodge Dart a couple years ago, my own Truth About Cars has been about as fun as getting a parking ticket. At this point, time is passing too quickly and I need to get a car to drive that doesn’t feel like putting on a wet pair of socks every day. I am asking for some advice for what you think (and maybe your colleagues) I should look for that would meet the following criteria:

It’s do or die time. Although TTAC’s site traffic continues it slow, organic growth—knocking on 1 mil uniques per month—the web-wide advertising downturn has taken its toll. Revenues have fallen by two-thirds. TTAC’s owners have looked at the books and read us the riot act. Either we replace the lost ad bucks with subscription income or that’s it: lights out. Our goal: 5000 subs at $12 per year ($1 per month) by June 1. I know: been here, didn’t do that. Before NameMedia bought TTAC, I asked our then-nascent Best and Brightest about going sub. The overwhelming response: fuhgeddaboutit [paraphrasing]. Surfers are not going to pay for something they can get for free (and don’t tell me you’re special). So what’s changed? Choice. We don’t have any. To keep the site alive, we have to make this work. How?

In this Streetfire video, Bob Hartwig of Cinema Vehicle Services invites Fireball Tim to examine a “plethora” of Fast and Furious 4 movie cars. Nice word, plethora. Not as catchy as “meme,” but way better than “farrago.” Still, we live in a world where you can happen upon a murder of crows. So there’s got to be a better collective noun for the vehicles used in a movie based on a trend who’s time has come and gone—a long time ago. I put it to you, our highly literate readers: What’s the best name for the collection featured here? And remember, “It’s always hard to make things 100 percent perfect unless you can buy them off the showroom at the same time.” Words to live by. [ Preview for Mad Max—I mean F&F4 here.]

Cars+of+Fast+%26+Furious

Planned obsolescence, or the constant replacement of existing models has been a mainstay of the US auto biz since GM started eating Henry Ford’s austere, one-size-fits-all lunch nearly 100 years ago. As automotive technology rapidly matured, new model year refreshes offered new gizmos, tweaked styling, along with more performance, space and status. Before long, the eternal quest for newer, hotter newness led to a near constant turnover in model names, styling and branding. Every three to five years now, we expect new headlights and maybe a fender vent at the minimum, signifying that the driver is far more in touch with the times than someone stuck in the instantly-dated predecessor version.

[NB: the TTAC spam filter tends to trap long lists. All comments will be released ASAP.]

’74 Ford Pinto Station Wagon – Hand me down from one of my two older brothers, with over 60k on the clock. When it was later revealed that Pintos exploded upon rear impact, my immediate thought was “And…?” Anyone who drove one knew the car was a POS. Slow, gnarly to shift, horrible handling, non-functional HVAC, etc. My father, A Ford man at the time, bought the car for the same reason everyone else did: they were cheap.

Ford Pinto Station Wagon – Yup, same again. When “mine” died from heat exhaustion, Dad simply did the hand me down thing again. No. 1 son got a VW Golf, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt. A lifelong insanity was revealed as I shod the Pinto with Pirelli P3s in an attempt to get it to handle. Oh, and put a Nagamichi cassette player in the glove box. Peter Frampton lives!

Mercedes 230E – Dad bought a 300 SEL 6.3 on European delivery and went mad for the brand (a madness that evaporated with breakdowns and bills). The 230 was another hand me down, this time from Mom. Solid. I mean stolid. Anything was better than the Pinto. Much better. Again with the tires. Killed the car when I was showing-off the Merc’s cornering prowess to friends- understeered straight into a curb, snapped the front axle like a toothpick.

A commentator recently accused TTAC of posting a CarMax superbowl ad just because the company owns a panel on our home page. Uh, no. Short of not accepting any advertising and switching to a pay-per-view model—which our Best and Brightest rejected like a high school quarterback talking to an ugly misfit frump in a low-budget horror movie—we’ll take what ad support we can get. But we give our advertisers no quarter. I’ve seen plenty of GM, Toyota, Ford and Chrysler ads on TTAC, and you know how we roll in that regard. Some of you may also recall negative comments from buyers who felt they were boned to the max by CarMax. Personally, I really like Chris Wilmore and his crew. I also like every PR person I’ve ever met (on the personal level). Ça fait rien. No one has ever successfully messed with TTAC’s editorial independence. Nor will they. It’s our USP. It’s what we do. K? Now, CarMax ran an interesting survey asking the question above. Their results after the jump. My take: not asking TVR how long their half-sized underfloor battery could hold a charge. Yours?

I got an email yesterday from a mob called LandLine TV. They sent me a link to the above video asking if I wanted to post it for your amusement. Of course I said no. It’s so not funny. OK, the pitchmen have natural comedic talent, in that gormless, Pineapple Express kinda way. But the ad itself could’ve been made by a 12-year-old with his mom’s video camera. I suppose that’s the point, but, again, it’s just not funny. So I wrote back explaining why the faux ad didn’t work and offered my services as a script writer. That fish is wiggling on the hook. They sent me back an email saying that they were open to suggestion (the seminal work on hypnosis by the way). They’re thinking about spoofing this Caddy ad. Not only is the Caddy slingshot ad older than John McCain (in Internet time), but who cares? Why not spoof the Caddy Escalade Hybrid ad. Or the Dodge Boys’ “man step” dissing ad? Or… well, there are lots of possibilities. And so I throw it open to you, our Best and Brightest, to share some ideas for spoof car ads. And remember: these guys are hiring.

Watch Dodge Ram AMCI Test Series in Car Videos | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

“Am I reading this right?” That’s the question posed by one of Our Best and Brightest regarding GM’s recent SEC filing [excerpted text after the jump]. The 8-K details the automaker’s purchase of GMAC shares. A purchase funded with your money (thanks to the Treasury Department). Here’s Uncommon Sense’s take:

1) GM is now the majority owner of GMAC
2) GM has to sell from over 50% to under 10% in 3 years — sounds like some cash
3) GM can’t try to influence GMAC until March of this year

My take: the more you monkey with a free market system, the worse it is for the consumer. Yours?

On Monday, U.S. manufacturers will announce – as much as they hate it – last month’s sales. It is expected that sales have dropped in December by “48 percent from a year earlier at Chrysler, 41 percent at GM and 33 percent at Ford,” based on the average estimates of analysts surveyed by Bloomberg. The oracles expect a likewise bloodbath amongst the Nipponese: “Toyota Motor Corp. may report a 40 percent slide and Honda Motor Co. may say its total was down 36 percent,” said Brian Johnson, a Barclays Capital analyst in New York.

The actual numbers reported by the manufacturers will provide fodder for the dreaded SAAR, which will also be announced for December. No, it’s not a disease that will wipe out China, although it might cause similar symptoms. It’s the Seasonally Adjusted Annual Rate for the month. It’s a statistician’s shorthand for “how many cars would we sell for the next year if people’s buying habits stay exactly like the last month?” For all we know now, the December rate will probably be the worst in insert-the-appropriate-timescale-here.

Thanks to stringent libel laws and gag orders, they used to do this crap all the time in the UK: run a media story about another media story without telling you what was in the original media story. In this case, it’s an pro-Detroit, anti-Toyota viral email that’s grabbed the attention of The Detroit Free Press‘ numero uno propagandist, Mark Phelan. The columnist is incensed– incensed I tell you– that someone is making the right case for Motown’s teat suckle using spin and, gasp, twisting facts. And just in case this amateur apologist needs some helpful hints, Phelan’s lede takes a shot at a certain southern senator. “With friends like these, who needs Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby? Shelby, of course, became the public face of contempt for Detroit’s automakers with his staunch opposition to congressional aid. Some of the Detroit Three’s would-be supporters may now inadvertently further damage the industry’s cause. There’s a slick viral ad making rounds by e-mail that attempts to defend Detroit’s automakers by showing that foreign brands aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Riddled with distortions and lies, it could do more harm than good.” So spill sister! Some quotes please. Only one, but it’s a doozy.

In today’s TTAC contest, we were looking for the best bumper sticker slogan for the bailout-begging CEO. And man were there some good ones. We had several Jet-Gate references, from My other car is a Gulfstream/Learjet/LS430/Golden Parachute to I’d rather be flying. A few were based in visual gags, such as The Darwin fish eating Chrysler and A graphic of the Democratic congressional leadership: Don’t Laugh. They’re Paid For. Still others riffed on some of the classic standbys of the bumper sticker universe. Ass, Grass or Duracells- No One Rides For Free would be great on a Volt, as would My Child is Honor Student at Detroit Elementary School, and he could have have run this company way freakin better than I did. Finally, a few popular bumper stickers would have made great additions right out of the box, specifically Baby On Board and What, Me Worry? And we loved the idea of slapping a certain infamous quote by a certain Maximum auto executive on Wagoner’s DC-bound Volt mule. But only one quote could win…

“Robert, I am not sure if this appeals to your audience but we have quite an interesting feature on Lotus Cars just published. It is the first time anyone has been allowed to film the Hethel circuit where all Lotus chassis are developed. Gavan Kershaw who is their senior chassis engineer talks readers around a full lap of the circuit and shares some of his insights into what makes a ‘perfect lap’ in the new Lotus 2-Eleven GT4. We also review the Lotus 2-Eleven GT4 in full detail.”

Steve Davies
Managing Director
Drivers Republic Magazine

In 1955, GM company reps testified at the Senate Committee on the Judiciary. The Subcommittee on Antitrust and Monopoly was unhappy that The General’s five auto divisions accounted for 50.76 percent of all cars sold in the U.S. (peaking at 55 percent in 1956). The same year, GM CEO Harlow Curtice was named Time magazine’s “Person of the Year.” “Because of the success of the American economic system, the U.S. rolled through 1955 in two-toned splendor to an all time crest of prosperity, heralded around the world. Much of this prosperity was directly attributable to the manufacture and sale of that quintessential American product, the automobile. Some 8,000,000 of them were produced and sold, and a good half of them were made and marketed by General Motors under the direction of President Harlow Herbert Curtice—the Man of the Year. Yet this production alone would not make Harlow Herbert Curtice, 62, the Man of the Year. Nor would the fact that he is president of the world’s biggest manufacturing corporation—and the first president of a corporation—and the first president of a corporation to make more than $1 billion in net profits in a year. Curtice is not the Man of 1955 because these phenomenal figures measure him off as first among scores of equals whose skill, daring and foresight are forever opening new frontiers for the expanding American economy by granting millions to colleges, making new toasters that pop up twice as fast, or planning satellites to circle the earth. Harlow Curtice is the Man of 1955 because, in a job that required it, he has assumed the responsibility of leadership for American business. In his words ‘General Motors must always lead.'”

I know: we’ve been down this road before. But hey, GM provides us with these neat-o-keen videos for bupkis, and TTAC’s added thousands of new readers since the Best and Brightest last weighed-in on the topic. [NB: That’s one Hell of a condescending, snarky intro there GM.] There’s still a lot debate on the ideal frequency of oil changes given make, model, driving style, height, weight and blood group. And there’s still info out there predicting catastrophic consequences should you fail to change your oil religiously (votive candles optional). Personally, I change my oil whenever those damn idiot lights go off– even though I’m sure I don’t need to change my oil that often. My OCD won’t let me drive with warning lamps lit, and I’m not about to do the reset deal, ’cause then I’ll forget and… peace of mind. You?

It was I who invented the name “Maximum Bob” for GM Car Czar Bob Lutz. That said, I also coined “Rabid Rick” for GM CEO Rick Wagoner; clearly, I should have stuck with the Buickman-perpetuated “Red Ink Rick.” John Horner, a charter member of out Best and Brightest and yeoman TTAC blogger, first mooted the moniker “American Leyland” for the federally-funded (one way or another, eventually) GM – Chrysler mash-up. But it’s a keeper. Or is it? Evan Newmark’s column over at The Wall Street Journal’s Mean Street proposes another way of characterizing the insanity to come: “GM = Government Motors.” While I’m not completely enamored by the new name, Newmark’s arguments are entirely seductive. In fact, it’s the best anti-GM bailout diatribe I’ve encountered, here or anywhere else– not that the topic is large enough to deserve a genre, yet. Anyway, I’ve excerpted some of the best bits below, and put it to you, our B&B: American Leyland or Government Motors?

Yes, I know “Saved by Zero” is a song by The Fixx. I respect New Wave. But I don’t like how it tastes when Toyota crams it down my throat for my own good.

TTAC reader steronz writes:

“I’m sure you’re familiar with the advertising claim in the subject. I just noticed it on a billboard during my morning commute, sans question mark. I did a brief search to see if I could figure out what marketing math GM is using to back up this claim, but I’m coming up
dry. I did my own quick check on Edmunds and came up with the following list:

Chevy Honda Toyota
Aveo* 24-34 Fit 28-34 Yaris 29-36
Cobalt** 25-36 Civic 26-34 Corolla 28-37
HHR*** 21-30 CR-V? fail Matrix 26-33
Malibu 22-30 Accord 22-31 Camry**** 21-31
Malibu Hy 24-32 Accord Hy dead Camry Hy 33-34
Civic Hy 40-45 Prius 48-45

* GM may be trying to bill the Aveo5 and the Aveo as two different models. I’m not buying that.
** Cobalt numbers are for the elusive XFE model, but that shouldn’t make a difference
*** GM may be trying to bill the HHR Panel Van as a different model than the HHR, but I’m REALLY not buying that
**** If GM is indeed playing tricks with model counting, the Camry Solara could potentially count as a separate model here

I’m not even sure if I feel comfortable calling hybrid versions of regular cars as new models, but since it doesn’t give anyone an advantage, I’ll allow it. Therefore, by my count, Chevy has 5 models, Honda has 4, and Toyota has 6. Claim busted, right?”