Question of the Day: If You Were A Traffic Cop for One Day…

Robert Farago
by Robert Farago
question of the day if you were a traffic cop for one day

and could only write tickets for ONE infraction, what it would it be? For me, it’s failure to stop at a stop sign. I live in a neighborhood that looks a bit like the one in Lady in the Tramp. We’ve got wide sidewalks, Victorian houses, well-groomed canines, equally well-groomed Swamp Yankees, a property tax bill that could crush rocks, the works. As the proud owner of four daughters and two dogs, I’m keenly aware that the sidewalks are often used for recreation: walking, running, bicycling, skateboarding, etc. (And that’s just the dogs.) So when I see a motorist blow through a four-way stop sign at speed, usually clutching a cell phone, I wish the capitol city would re-instate capital punishment. For some reason, I’m even more narked by R.I. motorists’ near-universal propensity to perform a so-called “rolling stop” at octagon-marked intersections. What part of STOP are you having trouble with? The real danger here: countless drivers perform this maneuver whilst turning at an intersection. They don’t bother checking to see if anyone’s crossing. The resulting carnage isn’t pretty. [see: above]. And I’ve seen cops watch drivers execute this illegal maneuver right in front of them, without batting a single chowderhead. So, what’s in your fictional ticket pad?

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  • SexCpotatoes SexCpotatoes on Jan 31, 2009

    I would ticket Police Officers. Because of all the stupid, dangerous, flagrant offenses they pull in both their civilian and patrol cars! Popping on the lights to run a red light when they are not responding to a call, speeding, tailgating, marked lane violations, failure to signal, failure to yield, speeding, rolling stops, speeding, illegal u-turns, talking on cell phones (personal calls of course), etc. Plus, you hardly ever see cops get hauled into traffic court for any violations in their civilian lives, wow, they must all be PERFECT drivers! Oh, it must be because they drive around all day, well truckers drive around all day and they get a bunch of tickets from the greedy highway patrol and municipalities. Yes ticket for major items like "unsecured load," but not 1mph over. I'm absolutely respectful of police officers, but not of tickets or driving hypocrisy, thanks.

  • Tyler D Tyler D on Feb 02, 2009

    Dump-trucks that are either missing their tag or do not have the load covered properly and lose significant amounts of whatever they are transporting. A $5000 fine for every vehicle damaged by said debris plus insurance costs.

  • Ricky Spanish Ricky Spanish on Feb 02, 2009

    cell phones

  • Tbsaunders Tbsaunders on Feb 02, 2009

    okay, i've been following this site long has it been around? three years? and this question prompted me to create an account to, the RS4 review (avalanche making love to a volcanoe) is far and away one of the most...ecovative? reviews i have ever read anywhere. reminds me of ezra dyer in automobile. but i digress. i HATE HATE HATE people who park in the fire/emergency vehicle lanes in front of large stores - wal-mart, home depot, etc. - and just sit there while their passenger "runs" inside. or even worse, they just park their car there and get out and leave it sitting there. if i was a cop i would spend my entire day roaming the city and giving these individuals massive, license-suspending, car-impounding tickets. i mean, why are they so much better than everyone else that they get to park their car right there when it CLEARLY says "no parking / emergency vehicles only"? i would even work overtime for no pay just to give them what they deserve... this is my all-time greatest personal pet peeve, entirely capable of raising my blood pressure. i always give these people the stink-eye and tell them they are number one as i roll by. number two worst offense imho is (as many of you have already stated) driving slow in the fast lane. get the heck out of the way already, right?