#Daimler

The Nikkei [sub] announces that Daimler’s Mercedes-Benz division is unleashing a global advertising campaign on the world, including a new advertising slogan and – while we are at it – a redesigned version of its three-pointed star. “Our claim has to reflect that we want to be the best in all disciplines,” said Mercedes-Benz sales chief Joachim Schmidt. And so their new global advertising slogan is …

Salutations, my good friends of the United States of America!

I am Mrs. Cammu Cori-Ganacha, the third wife of the former Nigeria head of State who died on the 8th of June, 1998. Under the strictest of confidence, I bring sad news that Automotive World are reporting that our good friends of Stuttgart, Daimler AG, are under investigation from the oppressive regime that is Nigeria’s Economic and Financial Crimes Commission for alleged bribes of 15 million of your U.S dollars. The alleged crimes of this upstanding and fine German company go back the 1970’s when they set up a joint with a local vehicle assembler called Anammco.

China is an important market for Daimler. China already buys more S-Class cars than any other country. Why not buy a chunk of Daimler and get it over with? The Chinese would find open doors: Daimler’s CFO Bodo Uebber “would welcome it if there are Chinese names in our shareholder structure.”

Speaking of car ads, never in my life would I have expected to see the grim reaper in a car ad. Especially not in the death seat. Especially not in a Mercedes ad. The boys from Sindelfingen never were known for their daredevil approach to advertising. Even at Volkswagen, which used to take more risk in their campaigns (

“Herr Schmitt! How often do we have to tell you: No negative advertising!!!!” It’s amazing that the Mercedes-Benz Brake Assistant System (BAS) ad [available after the jump] saw the light of day. Personally, I like it. Honestly, I’m envious of an agency that has gotten this ad through countless committees. Coming up with a good ad is easy. The hard part is having it approved.

Someone is in a big hurry: In March, Daimler and BYD signed an agreement to develop an all electric vehicle “specific to the requirements of the Chinese market.” Usually, it takes a while until something comes from these announcements, especially in China, where everything needs a lot of big red chops. Much to our surprise, we hear that BYD and Daimler signed the contract today to form a 50:50 joint venture for the aforementioned purpose.

Toyota definitely keeps us on our toes. Last week, the tete-a-tete between Toyota and Tesla had the world speculating about an electric push by the world’s largest auto maker. That was last week. This week, it’s hydrogen.

Having already informed the motor press that its Maybach brand will be making a long-overdue exit from the retail market, Daimler is getting all Weekend At Bernies about the failed super-premium marque. Instead of selling the Maybach name to an upstart Chinese firm, or developing an all-new model, Daimler has decided to keep the brand on life support in a more cynical fashion than even we could have anticipated: hiring an outside firm to develop a two-door version of its 57S sedan.

The other day I heard a saying which I think is rather apt for this article:

“You can shear a sheep many times, but you can only skin it once”. Except in this article the “shear” is “fleecing” and the sheep is “Daimler.” Bah, bah, bah. Firstly, the U.S Government did a little shakedown of Daimler to the tune of $185 million. When that succeeded, our friends in Russia decided to check this gold mine for any left over deposits. Word spread of them thar gold in Sindelfingen. Incoming golddiggers! Forexyard (via Reuters) reports that Egyptian authorities are going to investigate the matter in relation to bribery in Egypt.

Yes, in Egypt.

One of the last vestiges of the Daimler-Chrysler union is being swept away, as Daimler has announced that it will delist from the NYSE. Daimler initially listed itself on Wall Street in 1993, as it began its “marriage made in heaven” with Chrysler. Since then, Daimler says advances in electronic trading make it easier for traders to buy and sell its Frankfurt listings, and that the low volume of NYSE trading isn’t worth all the financial regulation that comes with a Wall Street listing. According to the company, less than five percent of its trading volume comes through its US listing. This means no more SEC filings from the German firm, although it insists that the US market remains important to its business and that it wants to maintain open communication with American investors who own 17 percent of Daimler’s shares. And it definitely has nothing to do with the company’s recent settlement of a bribery investigation by the DOJ. Or the fact that Chrysler could find itself back on the exchange within another year.

Have you ever done serious business in Russia? Nyet? If you want to keep your conscience pure, don’t. It’s a “gotta pay to play” country. If you don’t make regular payments, the best that can happen to you is that you are out of business. In more serious cases, you pay with your life – a common currency in that country.

Behind that backdrop, it’s humorous to read that “the Russian Prosecutor-General’s Office has asked the United States to provide information about corruption that reportedly accompanied the sale of Mercedes limousines by Russian law enforcement agencies, Prosecutor-General Yuri Chaika told the Federation Council.” That according to Russia’s news agency ITAR-TASS. (It’s “sale to law enforcement agencies.” Someone with lesser English may have made a payment. See video.)

Increasing signs that reports of the death of luxury cars are greatly exaggerated are emerging from Sindelfingen. To the joy of Daimler stockholders, and to the amazement of pundits who predicted we’ll be driving scooters, Daimler nearly doubled its profit guidance. According to the new reckoning, between €2.5 and €3b should appear below the bottom line as EBIT (earnings before interest and taxes) by the end of this year, says Daimler according to Das Autohaus. That came as quite a surprise.

The fabled Mercedes “Shooting Break” (or Brake ) is one step closer to productiondom. Gasgoo reports that the Shooting Break will make “its world debut at the Auto China motor show later this week.” Meaning Friday, the 23rd. TTAC will be there.

Having helped launch the fad for four-door coupes that’s currently sweeping Europe with its CLS, Mercedes-Benz wants to move the game on to a whole new niche with this CLS Shooting Brake five-door hatchback. This styling concept [via Autocar] bridges the gap between Mercedes’ current design language, and its next-gen look, which was previewed in Geneva by the F800 Style Concept.

You may not know that Cammy is a Chemist by trade. With a degree at college and university. If you bug me, I know enough to blow you up. That aside, in chemistry, there is a theory called “Le Chatelier’s Principle”. It states that:

“If a chemical system at equilibrium experiences a change in concentration, temperature, volume, or partial pressure, then the equilibrium shifts to counteract the imposed change and a new equilibrium is established.”

Now why am I telling you this?

The BBC reports that Daimler is deserting Iran.

Dr. Z. is glad that yesterday’s annual stockholders meeting in Berlin is behind him. To fend of criticism, Zetsche had to set ambitious goals: Daimler’s sales will grow twice as fast as the industry average. Good luck with that.