As Chief Justice of the 24 Hours of LeMons Supreme Court, I receive many gifts from racers wishing to establish a foundation of mutual respect and understanding during the period in which I inspect the cars for possible cheating. The traditional judicial bribe tends to be a jug of top-shelf booze, but my drinking hasn’t kept pace with the intake of bottles of Stranahan’s bourbon and Zaya rum, and so I’ve been encouraging teams to bring weird diecast toy cars to lubricate the gears of justice. After the last round of LeMons Supreme Court diecast toy car bribes, I thought it would be hard to top the Leyland P76 and Moskvich 402, but the racers at the ’11 Southern Discomfort and the ’11 Gator-O-Rama have done so with the current crop of diecasts. (Read More…)
Salutations, my good friends of the United States of America!
I am Mrs. Cammu Cori-Ganacha, the third wife of the former Nigeria head of State who died on the 8th of June, 1998. Under the strictest of confidence, I bring sad news that Automotive World are reporting that our good friends of Stuttgart, Daimler AG, are under investigation from the oppressive regime that is Nigeria’s Economic and Financial Crimes Commission for alleged bribes of 15 million of your U.S dollars. The alleged crimes of this upstanding and fine German company go back the 1970’s when they set up a joint with a local vehicle assembler called Anammco. (Read More…)
The other day I heard a saying which I think is rather apt for this article:
“You can shear a sheep many times, but you can only skin it once”. Except in this article the “shear” is “fleecing” and the sheep is “Daimler.” Bah, bah, bah. Firstly, the U.S Government did a little shakedown of Daimler to the tune of $185 million. When that succeeded, our friends in Russia decided to check this gold mine for any left over deposits. Word spread of them thar gold in Sindelfingen. Incoming golddiggers! Forexyard (via Reuters) reports that Egyptian authorities are going to investigate the matter in relation to bribery in Egypt.
Yes, in Egypt. (Read More…)
Have you ever done serious business in Russia? Nyet? If you want to keep your conscience pure, don’t. It’s a “gotta pay to play” country. If you don’t make regular payments, the best that can happen to you is that you are out of business. In more serious cases, you pay with your life – a common currency in that country.
Behind that backdrop, it’s humorous to read that “the Russian Prosecutor-General’s Office has asked the United States to provide information about corruption that reportedly accompanied the sale of Mercedes limousines by Russian law enforcement agencies, Prosecutor-General Yuri Chaika told the Federation Council.” That according to Russia’s news agency ITAR-TASS. (It’s “sale to law enforcement agencies.” Someone with lesser English may have made a payment. See video.) (Read More…)
U.S. District Judge Richard Leon approved a $185m settlement between Daimler, the Department of Justice (DOJ,) and the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). The Feds had alleged that Daimler violated the U.S. Foreign Corrupt Practices Act (FCPA) by drowning foreign government officials in money and gifts until they relented and ordered Daimler products. According to Reuters, Daimler’s German and Russian units each agreed to plead guilty to two minor counts of violating U.S. anti-bribery laws. Its China subsidiary will be subject to the two-year deferred prosecution agreement as well. That said, the bad boys from Sindelfingen may go forth and sin no more. Except for one niggling detail … (Read More…)
Last week, we shared with you an ingenious method of the U.S. Department of Justice to contribute to the deficit-afflicted holdings of the U.S. Treasury. The method involves shaking down foreign companies who grease the wheels to get deals in even more foreign lands. Or who even think about greasing the wheels. Caught between European laws and U.S. laws, these companies pay and promise to sin no more. (Read More…)