QOTD: The Worst Model Names of Them All?

Corey Lewis
by Corey Lewis

It happened quite by accident last week, as good ideas often do. After last Wednesday’s Rare Rides post concerning the Nissan Stanza Wagon, reader comments got a little sidetracked. Dal20402 lamented there had never been a worse name for a car than Axxess (the Stanza Wagon’s successor).

Before I could unplug TTAC from the Canadian outlet on the wall, other commenters were jumping in with their terrible name suggestions. Seemed like a fun game, so today we open the floor to everyone’s suggestions.

Give us your submissions for the worst-ever automotive model names.

I came up with three off the top of my head last week, so I’ll cover those here and let others submit their names again for consideration.

Our first bad name example is the Pao, by Nissan. Sold only in the Japanese domestic market between 1989 and 1991, this interesting and retro-styled city hatchback didn’t get a name to match its design. It’s a cool car, but awful in name.

This van is called the Citroën Jumpy. The same (slightly restyled) van was also sold as a Peugeot, a Toyota, and a Fiat. Get with it, get Jumpy! The second-generation Jumpy was replaced with an all-new model after the 2016 year, after a production partnership between PSA and Fiat ended.

So what exactly is an “Expert Tepee?” That’s not entirely clear, but the Peugeot Expert Tepee is (or was) the same basic van as the Citroën above. Certain cargo specifications of Tepee look remarkably like the Ram ProMaster, aka the Fiat Ducato. This is no longer true for the current generation, as Citroën, Peugeot, and Toyota models are on a new body. The trio and their variants are manufactured together in France and Uruguay.

Production vehicles past and present fall within the bounds of our subject today. Vehicles that never got past the concept stage don’t count. Let’s hear your worst.

[Images: Wikipedia ( CC BY-SA 3.0), PSA Group]

Corey Lewis
Corey Lewis

Interested in lots of cars and their various historical contexts. Started writing articles for TTAC in late 2016, when my first posts were QOTDs. From there I started a few new series like Rare Rides, Buy/Drive/Burn, Abandoned History, and most recently Rare Rides Icons. Operating from a home base in Cincinnati, Ohio, a relative auto journalist dead zone. Many of my articles are prompted by something I'll see on social media that sparks my interest and causes me to research. Finding articles and information from the early days of the internet and beyond that covers the little details lost to time: trim packages, color and wheel choices, interior fabrics. Beyond those, I'm fascinated by automotive industry experiments, both failures and successes. Lately I've taken an interest in AI, and generating "what if" type images for car models long dead. Reincarnating a modern Toyota Paseo, Lincoln Mark IX, or Isuzu Trooper through a text prompt is fun. Fun to post them on Twitter too, and watch people overreact. To that end, the social media I use most is Twitter, @CoreyLewis86. I also contribute pieces for Forbes Wheels and Forbes Home.

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  • True_Blue True_Blue on Oct 11, 2017

    Late to the party as usual, but, the Ferrari LaFerrari. "The Ferarri The Ferrari." F70 would have been fine, thanks.

  • GS 455 GS 455 on Oct 11, 2017

    Plymouth Belevedere. Oh Belvedere! Come here boy!

  • Kjhkjlhkjhkljh kljhjkhjklhkjh A prelude is a bad idea. There is already Acura with all the weird sport trims. This will not make back it's R&D money.
  • Analoggrotto I don't see a red car here, how blazing stupid are you people?
  • Redapple2 Love the wheels
  • Redapple2 Good luck to them. They used to make great cars. 510. 240Z, Sentra SE-R. Maxima. Frontier.
  • Joe65688619 Under Ghosn they went through the same short-term bottom-line thinking that GM did in the 80s/90s, and they have not recovered say, to their heyday in the 50s and 60s in terms of market share and innovation. Poor design decisions (a CVT in their front-wheel drive "4-Door Sports Car", model overlap in a poorly performing segment (they never needed the Altima AND the Maxima...what they needed was one vehicle with different drivetrain, including hybrid, to compete with the Accord/Camry, and decontenting their vehicles: My 2012 QX56 (I know, not a Nissan, but the same holds for the Armada) had power rear windows in the cargo area that could vent, a glass hatch on the back door that could be opened separate from the whole liftgate (in such a tall vehicle, kinda essential if you have it in a garage and want to load the trunk without having to open the garage door to make room for the lift gate), a nice driver's side folding armrest, and a few other quality-of-life details absent from my 2018 QX80. In a competitive market this attention to detai is can be the differentiator that sell cars. Now they are caught in the middle of the market, competing more with Hyundai and Kia and selling discounted vehicles near the same price points, but losing money on them. They invested also invested a lot in niche platforms. The Leaf was one of the first full EVs, but never really evolved. They misjudged the market - luxury EVs are selling, small budget models not so much. Variable compression engines offering little in terms of real-world power or tech, let a lot of complexity that is leading to higher failure rates. Aside from the Z and GT-R (low volume models), not much forced induction (whether your a fan or not, look at what Honda did with the CR-V and Acura RDX - same chassis, slap a turbo on it, make it nicer inside, and now you can sell it as a semi-premium brand with higher markup). That said, I do believe they retain the technical and engineering capability to do far better. About time management realized they need to make smarter investments and understand their markets better.
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