By on March 14, 2012

Chinese media has written for a while that Volkswagen and its Shanghai joint venture with SAIC will do a new “Chinese” brand called “Tianyue” by the Chinese, or “Tantus” by the longnoses. Only Carnewschina did some research and tells us what those names really mean. Careful, do not read on if you are offended by “mature” content, or could be fired for reading such.

China doesn’t seem to be content with strongly “recommending” to foreign makers that they should add a “Chinese” brand. Now foreign makers also “should” add a Chinese brand for EVs. Even Toyota, long opposed to any Chinese brands, caved it and allegedly will offer electric vehicles under a Chinese brand. BMW will have a Chinese EV brand. Volkswagen already has a Chinese EV brand named Kaili, together with FAW.

“Equal time!” shouts VW’s joint venture in Shanghai. Not to upset anyone, Shanghai Volkswagen also will get a separate, Chinese brand for EVs. The brand is called “Tianyue” by the Chinese, or “Tantus” by the longnoses.

“Tianyue” is Chinese for “Over (the) Heaven”, Carnewschina tells us.

As for “Tantus,” we would have thought it is one of those made-up names that comes out of a computer that checks trademarks all over the world. Not so. Or the computer failed. In a bad way.

Google “Tantus,” and you find “Tantus Technologies,” a consulting firm. One finds also the Nevada company (link NSFW) Tantus Inc., which, according to (link NSFW in Utah) Wikipedia “is a company that produces silicone sex toys, including vibrators, dildos, butt-plugs and strap-on harness kits.” Tantus products are loved by all kinds of people. The people of Amazon for instance (link not SFW at all) say: “IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN YOU SIMPLY MUST OWN THIS, it will revolutionize your sex life.” There is more, Google with care and not from your place of work.

Where were we? Ah, yes, Chinese EVs from Volkswagen. What do you expect from a company that called it’s distribution network Fuck?

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58 Comments on “What Do This Thing And Volkswagen Have In Common? Too Much...”


  • avatar
    Educator(of teachers)Dan

    Seriously, no one in the marketing department caught this?

    • 0 avatar
      righteousball

      Tony Orlando didn’t realize he sang an entire song praising something called candida yeast, either, so it must be excusable…

      No seriously, if the Chinese end up not having farcical product names at all, they wouldn’t be Chinese. It’s kinda in their nature to be selectively in-awe like that.

    • 0 avatar
      PlentyofCars

      Isn’t the Chevy Nova “No Go” in Spanish..

      Remember those old Pepsi Generation ads. They ran them in China saying “Come alive with the Pepsi Generation” or something close.

      The Chinese interpreted it to mean that drinking Pepsi would bring their dead relatives back to life.

      Then there was a Japanese Hotel that was a favorite of American businessmen. They wanted to let them know of their Hotel services. The signs read in English… “Please take advantage of the chamber maid”

      A local convenience store / gas station in New Hampshire had a sign that read.. “Eat here and get gas”.

      • 0 avatar
        Pch101

        “Isn’t the Chevy Nova “No Go” in Spanish..”

        Actually, no, it isn’t. That’s a common urban legend that has even ended up in marketing textbooks, but it’s largely wrong:

        http://spanish.about.com/cs/culture/a/chevy_nova.htm

      • 0 avatar
        PlentyofCars

        In North Carolina some out of state developer at first called their new housing development “Palmetto Acres” not knowing that in NC a palmetto bug is a cockroach.

      • 0 avatar
        PlentyofCars

        ” Actually, no, it isn’t. That’s a common urban legend..”

        It is an urban legend that “no va” means “does not go” or “not going” in Spanish ???

        I believe it does…

        What were you trying to say?

  • avatar
    Darkhorse

    Will Ellen DeGeneres do their TV ads?

    • 0 avatar
      Oren Weizman

      bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • avatar
    Ron

    This reminds me of the (possibly apocryphal) story when P&G decided to market a new detergent called Dreck. The advertising agency in New York had to explain what that meant in Yiddish. The detergent was relabeled Dreft.

  • avatar
    360joules

    Bertel, you sly fellow. I thought your photo choice was a reference to the VW Autostick. Kind of a let down, actually. In a global economy, inventing a vehicle name must be challenging, like the old story about the Chevy Nova conflicting with Spanish interpretation being “No go.” Funny, the best 1960’s Novas driven in my town are by Mexican Americans. Speaking of things placed in orifices, the gizmo in the picture reminded me that the first rectal foreign body I helped remove was a Hurst pistol grip shifter.

  • avatar
    twotone

    Finally — an EV we can all get behind.

  • avatar

    in poor taste, have a little more class please.

  • avatar
    supersleuth

    I don’t see the problem. Haven’t cars been sold (to men, at any rate) at least since the 1950s, if not even earlier, via suggestions that they’ll improve your sex life?

  • avatar
    stuntmonkey

    I honestly did not expect to see that this morning. Coffee sprayed all over monitor.

  • avatar
    Volt 230

    Kim’s next husband?

  • avatar
    Volt 230

    If my kid asks what this is, I’ll tell him it’s Barney’s toothbrush.

  • avatar
    Jack Baruth

    Hey, that’s a Feeldoe! I’m trying to convince a female friend of mine to use one on her frisky little roommate. If memory serves, that’s the mid-sizer. The full-sized one is, of course, in black latex.

    When I finally release my Peter Green tribute album and become the biggest thing in rock since Justin Bieber, I’m going to get that company to release my signature dildo. I plan to call it “The Disappointer”.

  • avatar
    Lokki

    Rather agree that this is in poor taste – please consider putting this kind of pic below the fold (et al) if you would. I have enough trouble with the wife wondering what I’m doing on the web let alone the office internet nanny which gets stricter all the time.

    Thanks.

    Once, while living in Japan, I did have the pleasure of watching the -entire- Osmond family jumping up and down singing “Calpis, Calpis, Calpis” advertising a fermented milk drink popular in Japan in those days. For those who don’t sound out words while they read, it sounds a lot like “bovine urine”. If you think that was a coincidence, well they tried marketing the stuff in the states for a while and recognized that they had to change the name – so they did -to Calpico. :-) Never tried the stuff myself, you’ll understand.

  • avatar
    56BelAire

    What do this sweet dildo and a VW have in common??

    Fleeting pleasure.

  • avatar
    MrBostn

    Is this what you get when you take an out of warranty VW to the dealership for service?

  • avatar
    Pch101

    “What Do This Thing And Volkswagen Have In Common?”

    If the Amazon user reviews are to be believed: high quality plastics.

  • avatar
    MrBostn

    “But honey-this is an automotive website”

  • avatar
    Mark MacInnis

    From your wife’s collection,one presumes, Bertel? ;^]

  • avatar
    Speed Spaniel

    Bertel, there’s some guy on the phone, calls himself Norbert something or other, he has a message for you…. ; )

  • avatar
    dave-the-rave

    Now this is the kind of probing journalism we B&B expect.

  • avatar

    there are young people who come on this site. I am very disappointed that anyone thinks this kind of stuff is in anyway relevant to the auto industry. I don’t think RF ever would have allowed such photography. :(

    • 0 avatar
      rentonben

      The subject matter doesn’t bother me so much – it’s the lack of wit.

      Betel’s previous article had a pretty girl with some amusing double entendres – you could chose how much you wanted to read into things.

      It the difference between Playboy and that creepy public access cable show with the bad porn reviews where you wonder if the host owns a few too many meat cleavers.

    • 0 avatar
      Robert.Walter

      The same RF that supposedly dropped F- and V-bombs?

      Anyway, young people should be in school, not messing around with something as useless and non-productive, as the Internet.

      Btw, the banner pic reminds of a European trailer hitch.

      • 0 avatar
        ciddyguy

        It does actually, but I immediately knew what it was as the shape of the longer end looked too familiar a body part.

        That said, I found the whole thing simply ironic to say the least and I doubt it was intentional.

        And no, the subject didn’t bother me in the least (shrug).

    • 0 avatar
      ajla

      @Buickman:

      http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2007/12/lexus-hooks-up-with-uh-maybe-not/

      The original photo that went along with the news item had a full-body shot of “Lexus” with only his hand over his genitals. The hand-to-crotch ratio was such that pubic hair was visible in the picture.
      ____________________

      There was also this one that included a photo credit from “downblouseamateur.com”

      http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2008/06/consumers-want-dangerous-in-car-distractions/

      ______________________

      Here’s one Frank Williams wrote about a porn star and porn titles with pretty much zero connection to the auto industry:

      http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2008/06/tesla-death-watch-4-savannah-smiles/

    • 0 avatar
      rwb

      I feel a “young person” would probably have a better idea of how to use that than you would.

  • avatar
    pgcooldad

    Now , the section titled strap-on on Tantus.com, do you think they’ll have replacement seat-belts for a ’75 Alfa Spider?

    Honestly, I work for a large automotive company owned by Italians, and I do have the luxury of internet service at my desk. I know that the company rightfully monitors what I do on the web. I can pretty much defend all the automotive news that I read on a daily basis. But!!! a picture of a certain purplish-blue non-automotive related part/toy coming across an IT investigators desk up at Auburn Hills is going to raise some red flags.

    So, Bertel, per favore, no more cazzo across my screen … capiche vecchio sporcaccione?!

  • avatar
    docrock

    Is this to be marketed as a “Vajaja W”?

  • avatar
    Hildy Johnson

    You could actually create a VW logo from two of these – maybe for the next logo redesign?

  • avatar
    GS650G

    Is this another one of those Electrified Vehicles?

  • avatar
    Beerboy12

    You gotta love the occasional international manufacturer naming cock-ups… Ah! did I just say that?
    VW are not the first and will not be the last either but there have to be more entertaining ones than a slightly obscure connection with a toy maker from the other side of the planet?

  • avatar

    I believe many of us have felt that from the Dealership…metaphorically, although there was an unusually large hole in my wallet when they finished…

  • avatar
    ZoomZoom

    So this article has THAT picture and my Internet Explorer says “Error” in the lower left corner. I’ll say!

    I was certainly lucky nobody was strolling past my desk as I was scrolling, or they would have seen that purple Barney thing on my big screen. Yikes! NSFW!

  • avatar
    piro

    I have the exact feeldoe posted in the title image.
    My girlfriend has uh.. used it on me. A product you definitely want to be associated with!


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