Ace of Base: 2017 Chevrolet SS

The selection for this week’s Ace of Base will likely surprise approximately zero percent of our reading population, given my known affinity for larger-than-necessary engines and interiors which comfortably house Large Persons.

The General introduced the SS arguably as a mea culpa to American gearheads who pined for the dearly departed Pontiac G8 GT. We’ll simply gloss over the missed opportunity which was the G8 ST, an apple pie and bald eagle variant of the excellent Holden Ute in Australia, lest I start weeping onto my keyboard.

Under the hood of the SS is a barrel-chested 6.2-liter V8 engine, a small-block of near-legendary status thanks to its applications elsewhere in GM’s go-fast stable. Making 415 horsepower at 5,900 rpm and an equal amount of torque at 4,600 rpm, the SS should burn its way to 60 miles per hour from a standstill in under five seconds. This slingshots the SS from 0 to 60 in just 4.7 seconds. That’s Focus RS territory in a car weighing approximately as much as a Georgian castle and capable of shuttling four people around in stretch-out-your-legs comfort.

Four-pot Brembo brakes arrest the fun when Johnny Law pops into view over the horizon, and a dual-mode exhaust lets drivers uncork the big V8 for maximum aural attack. The usual grab-bag of infotainment goodies, electronic safety nannies, and bazillion-way power seats are on tap for the base price of $46,295. Nineteen-inch summer tires are standard, as is Magnetic Ride Control. It’s a remarkable amount of performance kit in a big sedan.

Go ahead and turn off the traction control with a long press of the button and drop the hammer, because no one is going to notice anyway. Somnambulant styling assures drivers’ anonymity, leaving them free to enjoy the all-American (Australian?) grunt. I can’t even say this is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s more of a wolf in a plain brown box.

Selecting the six-speed manual transmission guarantees more grins and also nets buyers a shorter (numerically higher) 3.70 rear-end gear, ensuring quicker stoplight getaways. Choose any color you want other than orange for $0. Ignore the optional sunroof which simply serves to rob headroom and raise the center of gravity. The full-sized spare can stay in GM’s warehouse, too. In terms of options, that’s about it.

While this rear-drive, manually shifted sedan will run away from many other performance machines, it can’t outrun its stupid name. SS should most decidedly be a trim level, not a model designation. The SS should have been called the Chevelle. Or the Nova. Why GM’s marketing mavens didn’t dip into their grab bag of excellent (and appropriate) names from the past is well beyond my level of comprehension.

I think its lackluster styling and name contributed to fewer than 10,000 units departing dealer lots since it went on sale in the second half of calendar year 2013. Selling at the rate of glacier progression, this assures drivers won’t see themselves at every street corner. I do think these things will eventually appreciate in value and will bring good money at Barrett-Jackson in thirty years’ time, especially manual-transmission examples.

In the here and now, though, grab one while you can. They’re slated to go out of production later in 2017.

Not every base model has aced it. The ones which have? They help make the automotive landscape a lot better. Any others you can think of, B&B? Let us know in the comments. Naturally, feel free to eviscerate our selections.

The model above is shown in American dollars, absent of destination and other fees. As always, your dealer may sell for less … especially if it’s an outgoing model that has been welded to dealer lots since its introduction.