What's Wrong With This Picture: The Price of Optimism Edition

by Edward Niedermeyer

Published: November 10th, 2009

what s wrong with this picture the price of optimism edition

While reading through some of our analysis of Chrysler’s five-year plan, you may have found yourself wondering “what did the Pentastar boyz do to convince you of their company’s viability plan besides flash PowerPoint slides at you for seven hours?” To fully comply with TTAC’s stringent disclosure standards, we present Chrysler’s material compensation for the seven hours that auto journalists most wish they had back.

The only two items of real value are a wireless mouse in the shape of a Fiat 500 and a Chrysler-branded USB storage drive. The USB drive uses real aluminum, giving it a heft that is clearly intended to signify the Chrysler brand’s new, up-market positioning. But when was the last time you saw real aluminum trim inside a Chrysler? Continuing the push to portray Chrysler as a luxury brand are the new Chrysler 300 and Town and Country brochures, which are printed on a heavy stock and covered in a faux-leather paper product. Again, why not just spend this money on the cars themselves? Though it’s difficult to tell from the picture, the blue-covered documents are a three-inch-high stack of presentation slides, a handy reminder of my seven hours in PowerPoint Hell. Oh yes, and the New New Chrysler had one more journo-softening outlay, courtesy of the Fiat caterers: a delicious Northern Italian luncheon that one veteran described as “the best junket lunch ever.” Orzo, cannelloni alla funghi, imported salamis, Piedmont-style asparagus and more. Did these perks and treats affect our coverage? Decide for yourself:

Chrysler Financial Plans: Leveraged Assumptions

Chrysler Ups Ad Spend

Chrysler Brand: Refresh and Market Like Hell

Dodge Brand: Refresh and Market Like Hell

Hi, My Name Is: Ram

Dodge Marketing Explained: Sort Of

Dodge Versus Ram Case Study: Nitro

Chrysler: The Powertrain Plans

Fiat 500: The Littlest Bailout Baby

What’s Wrong With This Picture: Planning Sales Edition

Sergio’s Plea for Optimism

#Chrysler #FiveYearPlan #Media #Optimism #Perks #SergioMarchionne #Swag

Edward Niedermeyer

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2 of 12 comments

Accs on Nov 10, 2009

I could use the keydrive.. over 8g please. At least it would outlast a Chrysler vehicle...

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Stingray on Nov 11, 2009

Since at this time the 500 mouse has already been requested (and having not updated since 7:30 local time) Dibs on the flash drive.

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Recent Comments

TheEndlessEnigma These cars were bought and hooned. This is a bomb waiting to go off in an owner's driveway.
Kwik_Shift_Pro4X Thankfully I don't have to deal with GDI issues in my Frontier. These cleaners should do well for me if I win.
Theflyersfan Serious answer time...Honda used to stand for excellence in auto engineering. Their first main claim to fame was the CVCC (we don't need a catalytic converter!) engine and it sent from there. Their suspensions, their VTEC engines, slick manual transmissions, even a stowing minivan seat, all theirs. But I think they've been coasting a bit lately. Yes, the Civic Type-R has a powerful small engine, but the Honda of old would have found a way to get more revs out of it and make it feel like an i-VTEC engine of old instead of any old turbo engine that can be found in a multitude of performance small cars. Their 1.5L turbo-4...well...have they ever figured out the oil dilution problems? Very un-Honda-like. Paint issues that still linger. Cheaper feeling interior trim. All things that fly in the face of what Honda once was. The only thing that they seem to have kept have been the sales staff that treat you with utter contempt for daring to walk into their inner sanctum and wanting a deal on something that isn't a bare-bones CR-V. So Honda, beat the rest of your Japanese and Korean rivals, and plug-in hybridize everything. If you want a relatively (in an engineering way) easy way to get ahead of the curve, raise the CAFE score, and have a major point to advertise, and be able to sell to those who can't plug in easily, sell them on something that will get, for example, 35% better mileage, plug in when you get a chance, and drives like a Honda. Bring back some of the engineering skills that Honda once stood for. And then start introducing a portfolio of EVs once people are more comfortable with the idea of plugging in. People seeing that they can easily use an EV for their daily errands with the gas engine never starting will eventually sell them on a future EV because that range anxiety will be lessened. The all EV leap is still a bridge too far, especially as recent sales numbers have shown. Baby steps. That's how you win people over.
Theflyersfan If this saves (or delays) an expensive carbon brushing off of the valves down the road, I'll take a case. I understand that can be a very expensive bit of scheduled maintenance.
Zipper69 A Mini should have 2 doors and 4 cylinders and tires the size of dinner plates.All else is puffery.