We Don't Have A Holiday Gift Guide, But…

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth
we don t have a holiday gift guide but

Lost in Ed’s announcement about the revised TTAC was the issue of just how much cold cash we’re all making here at America’s finest automotive blog. Well, I don’t know about the so-called “contributors” who make up the rest of the roster, but speaking personally I don’t mind disclosing that in 2011, I’m scheduled to receive at least one hundred and fifty thousand

reminder emails from Ed about getting my articles in on time. Well, if he wants me to write more often he’s going to have to make it worth my while. One way he could do it would be to have more “Gift Guides”. Gift Guides are awesome for two reasons. The first reason is that you can sell a bunch of targeted advertisements to be placed within the pages of said gift guide. The second reason is that I strongly suspect that the guys at AutoWeek are KEEPING ALL THE STUFF THEY REVIEW! I could be wrong, but surely nobody expects that they are going to mail an eleven-thousand-dollar watch to a bunch of broke-ass bar hounds and actually get it back?

We need to be doing more of these here. I checked AutoWeek’s advertisement for their advertisements and discovered the following fact:

Number of “Gift Guide” articles planned for 2011:

AutoWeek: 26

TTAC: F***ing ZERO

This has to change. And there’s a disturbing third possibility: that the “Gift Guides” aren’t solely designed for sucking ad money and free swag from “lifestyle marketers”. Some of you lemmings out there may actually be waiting for me to tell you what to buy!

This is a crushing burden for me to face, emotionally speaking, but I’ve thought about it, and I think you should all buy Electra guitars. I have a lot of them and Vodka McBigbra says it’s time to clear out some space in the living room. I also have some old issues of AutoWeek, and you could buy them to read the Gift Guides contained within.

If none of that tugs at your fancy, why not consider the Automoblox Highcroft Racing car and trailer set? You can tow your toy cars with a toy truck. This is bad-ass and it will turn your son into a real man faster than that one episode of “The Backyardigans” where Pablo beats a homeless guy to death.

Check it out here. And, no, they didn’t give us one to “test”. I’m going to have to pay my own money for it. But I warn anybody from Automoblox who is reading this; if my Highcroft Trailer Set doesn’t come with a free bottle of Ketel One Citroen, I might talk about how the fit and finish isn’t up to the level of the Taiwanese competition. Capiche?

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2 of 8 comments
  • Dr Lemming Dr Lemming on Nov 26, 2010

    How about a review of car magazines as gift subscriptions? For example, I'm thinking that a certain knuckle dragger in my family would be delighted to receive Motor Trend beginning with its "Rush to Judgment" issue. Not quite as timeless as Car & Driver's "Miss Cancellation" issue, but a rare political kamikaze act from an unlikely source among auto buff mags.

  • Kristjan Ambroz Kristjan Ambroz on Nov 29, 2010

    Actually agree with the Automoblox Death Watch - I got one for myself out of curiosity (at much less than $120) and was fairly disappointed with the quality of woodwork or finish. Looks nice from afar or on pictures but I agree that most kids will probably say meh fairly quickly and move on to something else. Good trick of selling to the parents, though...

  • Damon Thomas Adding to the POSITIVES... It's a pretty fun car to mod
  • GregLocock Two adjacent states in Australia have different attitudes to roadworthy inspections. In NSW they are annual. In Victoria they only occur at change of ownership. As you'd expect this leads to many people in Vic keeping their old car.So if the worrywarts are correct Victoria's roads would be full of beaten up cars and so have a high accident rate compared with NSW. Oh well, the stats don't agree.https://www.lhd.com.au/lhd-insights/australian-road-death-statistics/
  • Lorenzo In Massachusetts, they used to require an inspection every 6 months, checking your brake lights, turn signals, horn, and headlight alignment, for two bucks.Now I get an "inspection" every two years in California, and all they check is the smog. MAYBE they notice the tire tread, squeaky brakes, or steering when they drive it into the bay, but all they check is the smog equipment and tailpipe emissions.For all they would know, the headlights, horn, and turn signals might not work, and the car has a "speed wobble" at 45 mph. AFAIK, they don't even check EVs.
  • Not Tire shop mechanic tugging on my wheel after I complained of grinding noise didn’t catch that the ball joint was failing. Subsequently failed to prevent the catastrophic failure of the ball joint and separation of the steering knuckle from the car! I’ve never lived in a state that required annual inspection, but can’t say that having the requirement has any bearing on improving safety given my experience with mechanics…
  • Mike978 Wow 700 days even with the recent car shortages.