QOTD: Managing Race Relations?

Easy, now — this isn’t what you think. Contrary to the beliefs of the Millennial journo-fronted social media swarm coalescing over this headline, the question we’re answering today has nothing to do with people, and everything to do with another diverse element of society: cars.

We’re spoiled for choice when it comes to vehicles hailing from different countries, each built with different purposes and different customers in mind. And any two of these vehicles could face off against each other on the track.

Is it wrong to assume there’s a very unlikely race you’ve always wanted to see?

It’s not just Johnnie Walker and pesto fueling this QOTD. Earlier today, your very online author noticed a vintage automobile being trucked into a certain dealership, one inhabited by a former managing editor. That car was a Hyundai Pony — a five-door hatch that launched Hyundai’s big push for the North American economy car market. My aunt owned one back in the day. Who knows how that relationship ended…

When thinking up a race partner for that ’80s relic, my mind naturally turned to an econobox option you Yanks couldn’t get… and probably didn’t want: the Lada Samara, which happened to be the last model sold by the surprisingly long-lived Lada Canada. That shoestring operation closed up shop in 1998.

Put together, the Pony and Samara’s horsepower figure tops the three-figure mark, so naturally I pictured them battling it out on a tough circuit — while struggling to reach 60 mph. Fun viewing with a can of Coors in your hand, but my interest lies elsewhere. Exotic supercars, you ask? Hell, no. Too well-suited to the task at hand.

Glitzy grand tourers hailing from the most refined factories of the Old World? Nah, though I’d show up for the race. No, like a teen with unrestricted internet access, I’m interested in seeing Americans going at it.

Specifically, old ones. Relics. Vehicles not particularly adept at corner carving.

I’ve always wanted to watch a race between stock, full-size family sedans of the 1970s and 80s. Ideally, a whole fleet of ’em, each one immolating its rear rubber, heeling alarmingly from starboard to port as the driver frantically spins that overboosted wheel to and fro. In this category, my choices are many. Dodge Monaco. Ford LTD. Mercury Marquis. AMC Ambassador. Chevy Caprice. Buick LeSabre. Olds Delta 88. And so on and so forth — I’d fight my way to the front of the crowd (assuming it drew one) to see any two landau-ized family haulers battling it out under such challenging conditions.

Your ideal race might be an entirely different beast. What two entries would you most like to see go head to head?

[Images: © 2019 Chris Tonn/TTAC, Murilee Martin/TTAC]