Fisker Karma Fails To Completely Burn Down Stucco McMansion

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth

““This looks just like golf cart fires we have down here… I’ve worked homicide scenes with less secrecy. There have to be about 15 engineers down here working on this one.”

So spoke Fort Bend County, Texas, chief fire investigator Robert Baker, in the course of blaming a brand-new Fisker Karma for a house fire that did “over $100,000” worth of damage to a brand-new, completely tasteless stucco-pimple monstrosity of an “upscale home”.

According to AutoWeek, the Fisker Karma burned to the ground in the garage, immolating the Mercedes-Benz SUV and Acura NSX which were also trapped in the sad, monstrous affront to common decency and taste which featured cues from approximately six different periods of global home architecture. Fisker issued a boilerplate press release which indicated that they were looking into the cause of the blaze itself but offered no explanation as to why the house’s second-story window had some bizarre half-fence around it. I mean, is that supposed to keep children from falling out?

Fisker’s press release craftily mentioned the presence of fireworks in the garage, leaving the reader of said release to make the connection between drunken house-fire shenanigans and the kind of person who buys a crib like this and then fills it with fireworks. It’s possible that the house contained a bidet, and that the owner of the house was confused by said bidet, but Fisker wisely didn’t mention this, choosing to focus instead on the idea that an electrical panel in the area may have been incorrectly installed.

The owner could not be reached for comment, primarily because nobody from TTAC or Autoweek wants to go out to “the lake” and talk to people on pontoon boats all day looking for him.


Jack Baruth
Jack Baruth

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  • MichaelR1 MichaelR1 on May 09, 2012

    New headline. FISKER KARMA FIRE UPDATE - "I told you so" industry insider tells all An unidentified source, who wished to remain anonymous, tells us "..I work in a large organisation with many links to the industry. In my day to day duties, as presidential candidate, I am informed about Fisker and all I can say is ha ha. This just shows how wrong the other guy is. Anyway, any normal person knows the Fisker is a piece of crap, you can hardly even fit a medium sized labrador on top."

  • Shaker Shaker on May 09, 2012

    Good tune - BOC was one of my favorite bands back in the 70's, and I was lucky to find one of the few women in Pittsburgh who agreed with me. No devil worship - just liked the music. :-)

  • Jeff Good find I cannot remember when I last saw one of these but in the 70s they were all over the place.
  • CoastieLenn Could be a smart move though. Once the standard (that Tesla owns and designed) is set, Tesla bows out of the market while still owning the rights to the design. Other companies come in and purchase rights to use it, and Tesla can sit back and profit off the design without having to lay out capital to continue to build the network.
  • FreedMike "...it may also be true that they worry that the platform is influencing an entire generation with quick hits of liberal political thought and economic theory."Uh...have you been on TikTok lately? Plenty of FJB/MAGA stuff going on there.
  • AZFelix As a child I loved the look and feel of the 'woven' black vinyl seat inserts.
  • Aja8888 Maybe he's putting the cost savings into Cybertruck production?
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