Didn't You Always Want To Be A Test Driver? This Would Be Your Cubicle

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt

Imagine barreling down the road in a hot prototype. Now you don’t have to imagine anymore, because these pictures, taken on the first day of the annual conference of the Japan chapter of the SAE, show you in graphic detail what your workplace would look like. Like a mess.

You would be surrounded by a maze of wires. Your stick shift would be encased in something that makes a chastity belt look like a piece of lingerie. In the next turn, the laptop will smash into your head.

Stay clear from any pedestrians, because with these things on your wheels, you will drag a pedestrian a long, long way.

Do you still want to be a professional test driver? Kyowa, the company that outfits vehicular torture chambers the world over, will be happy to be of service.


Bertel Schmitt
Bertel Schmitt

Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.

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  • Icemilkcoffee Icemilkcoffee on May 23, 2012

    What is up with the double steering wheels?

    • Greg Locock Greg Locock on May 27, 2012

      That's so you can measure steering wheel torque and and angle independent of the car's electronics. It also lets you fit a steering robot easily. That's not as fancy as it sounds, just a belt and a pulley and an electric motor.

  • AKADriver AKADriver on May 24, 2012

    At least you get a really nice white-stitched Nardi Classico.

  • Pig_Iron This message is for Matthew Guy. I just want to say thank you for the photo article titled Tailgate Party: Ford Talks Truck Innovations. It was really interesting. I did not see on the home page and almost would have missed it. I think it should be posted like Corey's Cadillac series. 🙂
  • Analoggrotto Hyundai GDI engines do not require such pathetic bandaids.
  • Slavuta They rounded the back, which I don't like. And inside I don't like oval shapes
  • Analoggrotto Great Value Seventy : The best vehicle in it's class has just taken an incremental quantum leap towards cosmic perfection. Just like it's great forebear, the Pony Coupe of 1979 which invented the sportscar wedge shape and was copied by the Mercedes C111, this Genesis was copied by Lexus back in 1998 for the RX, and again by BMW in the year of 1999 for the X5, remember the M Class from the Jurassic Park movie? Well it too is a copy of some Hyundai luxury vehicles. But here today you can see that the de facto #1 luxury SUV in the industry remains at the top, the envy of every drawing board, and pentagon data analyst as a pure statement of the finest automotive design. Come on down to your local Genesis dealership today and experience acronymic affluence like never before.
  • SCE to AUX Figure 160 miles EPA if it came here, minus the usual deductions.It would be a dud in the US market.
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