A Barracuda, Speedy Monzales, and a Luxurious W126 Benz: BS Inspections of the Heaps In The Heart Of Texas 24 Hours of LeMons

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin

I’m still recovering from having my tonsils hacked out with pinking shears, so I couldn’t get to Texas to judge at the 2011 season-ending 24 Hours of LeMons race at Eagles Canyon Raceway. Fortunately, the LeMons Supreme Court has tentacles everywhere, and they’ve sent in some photos showing how Friday’s prerace BS Inspection went down.

Even after a Fiat 131’s transmission failure blasted a giant hole in the car’s floor in New Jersey earlier this year, Poage Ma Thoin Racing hasn’t let that scare them out of running their Texas Brava.

NSF Racing, fresh off back-to-back Judges’ Choice (for their ultra-classy Mercedes-Benz 450SEL 6.9) and Index of Effluency (for their terrifyingly rusty 1963 Plymouth Fury) trophy wins, now brings a somewhat battered example of vintage Mopar muscle: this 1965 Barracuda with 340 and 4-speed. Knowing the aptly named NSF Racing, this thing is probably going to break in half 30 minutes after the green flag Saturday morning… and then they’ll fix it with zip ties.

Texans love their Taurus SHOs. Five of them showed up for the race. That means the one that keeps running will have four engine/transmission/suspension parts donors handy.

We’ve been agitating for someone to run a V8-powered W126 Mercedes-Benz, and so this 560SEL makes all the LeMons Perpetrators very happy. Who’s running it? Who else but slam-dunk 2011 Legend of LeMons honoree Brandon, who won the Index of Effluency with his W110 Benz in June and has spent the rest of the year dragging his terrible Jetta to LeMons races all over the country. Just look at this fine racing machine! No weak points!

This is some crucial racing gear right here.

The last time LeMons came to ECR, the strangely turbocharged (and barbecue/whiskey-still-equipped) Sensory Assault RX-7 won the Index of Effluency. Now the team is back, this time with a huge, rearward-facing turbo boost gauge. Why? To intimidate the competition. Now that’s racin’!









Murilee Martin
Murilee Martin

Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Autoblog, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars and Capital One.

More by Murilee Martin

Comments
Join the conversation
4 of 23 comments
  • Andy D Andy D on Dec 17, 2011

    I'm seeing a lot more than the 500$ maximum in some of those cars. Is that rule still observed?

    • See 1 previous
    • Racin_G73 Racin_G73 on Dec 18, 2011

      Are you counting safety equipment like roll cages, battery boxes, fuel cells, brakes and the like? Cause those are budget exempt. Like the other guys said, if you spend a little more than $500 to get a slow car ready for racing you're not going to get sweated for it. If you spend more than $500 to get a fast car faster, you're going to get BS laps. If you take a look at the results sheets after the event, you'll see cars who were penalized for going over budget with BS laps. One of the highest I saw was like -85 laps at Autobahn.

  • CougarXR7 CougarXR7 on Dec 18, 2011

    Old Monzas never die. They're just reincarnated as full-blown race cars. I have one. I'd like to know how he did his 5-lug brake conversion.

  • Pig_Iron This message is for Matthew Guy. I just want to say thank you for the photo article titled Tailgate Party: Ford Talks Truck Innovations. It was really interesting. I did not see on the home page and almost would have missed it. I think it should be posted like Corey's Cadillac series. 🙂
  • Analoggrotto Hyundai GDI engines do not require such pathetic bandaids.
  • Slavuta They rounded the back, which I don't like. And inside I don't like oval shapes
  • Analoggrotto Great Value Seventy : The best vehicle in it's class has just taken an incremental quantum leap towards cosmic perfection. Just like it's great forebear, the Pony Coupe of 1979 which invented the sportscar wedge shape and was copied by the Mercedes C111, this Genesis was copied by Lexus back in 1998 for the RX, and again by BMW in the year of 1999 for the X5, remember the M Class from the Jurassic Park movie? Well it too is a copy of some Hyundai luxury vehicles. But here today you can see that the de facto #1 luxury SUV in the industry remains at the top, the envy of every drawing board, and pentagon data analyst as a pure statement of the finest automotive design. Come on down to your local Genesis dealership today and experience acronymic affluence like never before.
  • SCE to AUX Figure 160 miles EPA if it came here, minus the usual deductions.It would be a dud in the US market.
Next