Cutlass Ciera, Rock 'em Sock 'em Civic, and an L7: BS Inspections at the Loudon Annoying 24 Hours of LeMons

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin

Here I am, starting another three-races-in-three-weeks road trip, this time at the NASCAR-O-riffic Loudon Motor Speedway in New Hampshire. After an excellent, chowder-saturated seafood dinner, the LeMons HQ staff is still contemplating this weekend’s exceptionally good crop of great race cars. And by “great,” we mean “awesomely terrible.”

The real star of the day for us was a car we’d been hoping to see get LeMon-ized for a long time: a BMW L7. The hyper-luxurious, conspicuous-consumption car of choice for corporate raiders and mid-level cocaine kingpins in the mid-to-late 1980s, the L7 is the BMW we wish E30 teams would drive.

One of the Greatest LeMons Cars Ever, and it hasn’t even been on the track yet!

The Organizer’s Choice-winning “New York, New York” Civic from the ’10 season-ender in Miami has been transformed into the “Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots” Civic for this race. These Brooklynites are making a strong case for a second Org Choice.

Look, it’s a genuine Carroll Shelby race car! Yes, a numbers-matching Dodge Daytona Shelby Z. Hey, didn’t I just see one of these things in the junkyard? You Shelby Chrysler fans will be happy to see this car, but probably not so happy to learn that I’ve put it in the same class as…

…this Saab 96, which no longer has the 2-stroke engine it used to win the Index of Effluency last year. That engine done got blowed up in the Miami race.

A 1.0 liter three-banger from a Geo Metro has replaced the Saab powerplant. As we often say in LeMons, what could possibly go wrong?

Some LeMons first-timers read all about what the organizers want to see on the race track, and then proceed to get yet another boring E30 or Integra or Mustang. Not these newcomers! Their recipe for LeMons success: 1994 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera. Excellent choice.

Another GM product sure to bring a smile to our faces is the Chevy Chevette. The diesel Chevette we saw at the Michigan race a few weeks back really broke our hearts with its miserable (and very smoky) 5-lap performance, so we have high hopes for this gasoline-fueled model.

Here’s the traditional BS Inspection timelapse video; just one lane of the inspections is visible here, but you’ll get a good cross section of the cars that will hit the track tomorrow morning at 10:30 EST. Check in tomorrow night for a roundup of the Loudon Annoying first session. Music: Riley Pucket, “The Boston Burglar,” 1925































Murilee Martin
Murilee Martin

Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Autoblog, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars and Capital One.

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  • Parkwood60 Parkwood60 on May 07, 2011

    So was the Honda CRX team challenged to build a Lemons racer in 24 hours, or did their car fail tech so badly that they entire cage had to come out and a new one get put in Friday?

    • Crabspirits Crabspirits on May 07, 2011

      The cage on the ground appears to have many things wrong with it. Front pillar tubes are not 1 continuous tube. The main hoop diagonal is WAY wrong. Also, since they are welding in floor plates, I'm going to assume that there were none to begin with or inadequate coverage/thickness. Kinda sucks, and I feel bad for them, but when it comes to safety for this series, it pays to do your homework. What lemons staff is doing the welding?

  • UnclePete UnclePete on May 07, 2011

    I only live a few miles from the track - I'll have to try to get over the track tomorrow for the carnage, er, I mean the racing!

  • Joe65688619 Under Ghosn they went through the same short-term bottom-line thinking that GM did in the 80s/90s, and they have not recovered say, to their heyday in the 50s and 60s in terms of market share and innovation. Poor design decisions (a CVT in their front-wheel drive "4-Door Sports Car", model overlap in a poorly performing segment (they never needed the Altima AND the Maxima...what they needed was one vehicle with different drivetrain, including hybrid, to compete with the Accord/Camry, and decontenting their vehicles: My 2012 QX56 (I know, not a Nissan, but the same holds for the Armada) had power rear windows in the cargo area that could vent, a glass hatch on the back door that could be opened separate from the whole liftgate (in such a tall vehicle, kinda essential if you have it in a garage and want to load the trunk without having to open the garage door to make room for the lift gate), a nice driver's side folding armrest, and a few other quality-of-life details absent from my 2018 QX80. In a competitive market this attention to detai is can be the differentiator that sell cars. Now they are caught in the middle of the market, competing more with Hyundai and Kia and selling discounted vehicles near the same price points, but losing money on them. They invested also invested a lot in niche platforms. The Leaf was one of the first full EVs, but never really evolved. They misjudged the market - luxury EVs are selling, small budget models not so much. Variable compression engines offering little in terms of real-world power or tech, let a lot of complexity that is leading to higher failure rates. Aside from the Z and GT-R (low volume models), not much forced induction (whether your a fan or not, look at what Honda did with the CR-V and Acura RDX - same chassis, slap a turbo on it, make it nicer inside, and now you can sell it as a semi-premium brand with higher markup). That said, I do believe they retain the technical and engineering capability to do far better. About time management realized they need to make smarter investments and understand their markets better.
  • Kwik_Shift_Pro4X Off-road fluff on vehicles that should not be off road needs to die.
  • Kwik_Shift_Pro4X Saw this posted on social media; “Just bought a 2023 Tundra with the 14" screen. Let my son borrow it for the afternoon, he connected his phone to listen to his iTunes.The next day my insurance company raised my rates and added my son to my policy. The email said that a private company showed that my son drove the vehicle. He already had his own vehicle that he was insuring.My insurance company demanded he give all his insurance info and some private info for proof. He declined for privacy reasons and my insurance cancelled my policy.These new vehicles with their tech are on condition that we give up our privacy to enter their world. It's not worth it people.”
  • TheEndlessEnigma Poor planning here, dropping a Vinfast dealer in Pensacola FL is just not going to work. I love Pensacola and that part of the Gulf Coast, but that area is by no means an EV adoption demographic.
  • Keith Most of the stanced VAGS with roof racks are nuisance drivers in my area. Very likely this one's been driven hard. And that silly roof rack is extra $'s, likely at full retail lol. Reminds me of the guys back in the late 20th century would put in their ads that the installed aftermarket stereo would be a negotiated extra. Were they going to go find and reinstall that old Delco if you didn't want the Kraco/Jenson set up they hacked in?
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