AutoExtremist Gets One Right, Mostly
Peter M. De Lorenzo, the self-styled AutoExtremist, seems to have calmed down a notch or two in recent weeks. Sweet Pete is back to taking well-aimed rifle shots at the industry’s soft spots. This week, he takes on J.D. Power and Associates. As SP points out, few consumers realize that J.D. Power is a for-profit marketing/research/data mill firm dedicated to raking in the bucks by any means possible. “Their latest money-making brainstorm? Something called the ‘Vehicle Launch Index.'” Using a bunch of pseudo-scientific statistical mumbo-jumbo, J.D. Power says they will be able to measure the effectiveness of new model launch campaigns AND tell the auto makers how to do it better. Peter doesn’t miss a step when he says: “J.D. Power has honed its brazen formula of Unmitigated Gall + Unmitigated Bullshit = Huge Wads of Cash exceedingly well over the years, and too often the auto industry blindly catered to Power with little rhyme or reason other than the fact that they were afraid what would happen if theydidn’t bow down to them.
“Fortunately, the industry has a lot more to worry about than J.D Power’s latest money-making gambit these days, because a basic survival mode has brought clarity to the industry’s thinking that didn’t exist before; and it’s about time.” Yes to ‘no on J.D.’, no to Motown’s clarity claim.
In fact, one wonders why Sweet Pete feels the need to defend the indefensible (Detroit’s muddled marketing and broken brands) even if he does speak from personal experience.
“It’s a lot easier lobbing grenades in from the cheap seats, but if you’ve never sweated over a product launch – or the pricing, marketing and advertising decisions that go with it – then there’s no amount of number crunching that’s going to help you come up with a ‘plan,’ at least one that’s worth a shit that is.”
Still, it’s good to hear something new from the autoblogosphere’s most vocal proponent of the “get off my lawn” school of analysis say something other than WHY CAN’T THEY JUST LEAVE MOTOWN ALONE!
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I always knew that JD Power awards were just some shit for the big three to shove in our faces to act like they are superior to the Japanese. GM's cars seem to be put together well. Most of them, at least. A friend of mine managed to accidently break one of the AC vents in a Pontiac G5 with no effort, so yeah..... I live in Detroit, so I feel like I am the only one here who doesn't have my head up the big three's ass. I hear from my dad every day about how nice the big three's cars are and how Toyota is some kind of evil empire. Ford is the only maker that I have any compassion for. I never liked GM, just some of their models, and I just want Chrysler to get bent already. After sitting in their cars at NAIAS, I wondered when Chrysler will just be mercy killed. I like their 90s cars and older, but I think they have just built shit for the past few years. When Chrysler is out of business, I want them to be remembered for the excellent cars they used to build, instead of the shit they build now.
Whatever. Just get that Bud E. Bryan guy to STFU. Seriously. Your guy card is revoked, Bud. Enough of the relationship shit. Go write for a chick magazine or something, you mama's boy. It's a car site. About cars. I stopped caring about you and Miss Jolene's latest argument in 2004. Last thing you wrote worth a shit was a night drive in a Cobra. When was what? 2003? Now wipe the tears and snot off your face, put on your big boy boots and go test drive something. Stop jumping sharks while you're at it.