#CammyCorrigan

Jeremy Clarkson thinks it’s a pile of wank. Bob Lutz thinks it was a crock of bowel movement. But say what you like about global warming, if you can get credentials which make you “eco-friendly”, that’s worth a lot of marketing money. Which is why Honda is probably feeling pretty chuffed with themselves.

Watching people “Snap” is very funny (when I was at school in the UK they were called “cuss matches”). I learnt some very funny insults. Some insults were so funny, I’ve been banned from reproducing them on TTAC (Ed – We’re a family website!). But nothing lifts the spirits more than watching 2 people going head-to-head, armed with the sharpest, finest “Yo mamma…” insults. But what happens when that element comes to the automotive world? Well…

Even though the luxury car market in India is very small, the players are taking it seriously. So seriously, they’re trying to bitch slap each other. The Hindustan Times reports that Mercedes-Benz and BMW are “trading verbal volleys at each other at every opportunity.” 2 Germans hurling insults at each other in the middle of India? Did someone put a load of magic mushrooms on my pizza? Pee in your curry? Gee, in Germany something like that would get you a “cut it out now!” phone call from the VDA, the “Verband der Automobilhersteller” (formerly “Verband Deutscher Autobomilhersteller”). But in India?

It’s that time again. The time that I report on the market that no-one cares about. The UK. The SMMT has released the car registration figures today and as predicted, they fell, but not as much as other markets. The UK saw new car sales fall by only 8.9 percent, compared to, say, Italy. Overall, the UK market still remains 7.8 percent higher than last year (to date). The Ford Fiesta remains the best selling model in the UK, which will do our balance of trade with Spain and Germany no favors. Diesel cars and alternatively fuelled cars all posted growth in September. What was also telling about this “growth” was this little nugget of information: Private demand fell, while fleet demand increased. That’s right, while private customers are fleeing, car makers are trying to sustain volume by following the fleets. Shall we take a look the breakdown?

When Renault released their second generation Megane, people’s reaction pretty revolved around three words. “Whisky”, “Tango” and “Foxtrot”, if you know what I mean. I remember when I first saw it my first thoughts were “My goodness! It looks like someone’s made a massive dent in the back with a cricket bat.” But what did I know? It was voted European Car of the Year in 2003, was the first small family car to achieve a 5 star Euro NCAP rating, and went on to become a sales success. Now let’s look at Renault’s partner, Nissan. When the Juke came out, the reaction was pretty much the same to the Renault Megane. “What in the name of all that is holy is that?!” And now. the Renault-Nissan alliance has done it again.

A friend of mine once tried to break the world record for the longest time standing on one foot. The record (at the time) was held by Arulanantham Suresh Joachim of Sri Lanka for standing on one foot for 76 hours and 40 minutes. My friend lasted 2 minutes, then collapsed in heap and wondered if he’d maybe broken a bone in his leg. Silly boy. If he wanted to get into the Guinness Book of World Records, all he had to do was buy a Volkswagen Passat.

When GM was taken over by the US and Canadian governments, a lot of money was pumped into GM in order to make it a viable entity. After all, GM didn’t go into bankruptcy because it was a well run company with a tight balance sheet, excellent management and brand, spanking new factories. The more money that got pumped into GM, the more pressure is put on the IPO to generate enough money for this endeavor to break even. And according to the press, it doesn’t look like it’s going to hit its mark.

After the amount of replies by the B&B, spitting venom at the cars they loathed with a passion, I decided to inject some needed positivity to TTAC. We’re often accused of being negative and downbeat, so here goes my attempt at being positive.

What will be the fuel of the future for cars? Gasoline? Diesel? Ethanol? Electric? Hydrogen? I might as well ask “What are the numbers for next week’s lottery?” No-one really knows; which is why everyone is hedging their bets. To invest in a particular technology and ignore the rest is basically playing Russian roulette. (There you you. We forgot CNG.) This next evolution of the car industry is going to be critical. While Ford is looking at other types of alternative propulsion, at the moment it is pretty much playing it safe, sticking to more efficient ICE’s, hybrids and electric cars. Very good bets to make. But now, it seems, Ford is playing it a little riskier.

When Alan Mulally came to FoMoCo, his strategy was simple. Quite literally. “One Ford.” Jaguar? Out. Land Rover? Out. Volvo? Out. Mercury? Out. Aston Martin? Out (but we’ll keep a small stake, just in case…). It’s all about “Ford.” And it’s worked. Ford is flying high and is closing in on GM in the US market. But there’s one thing that stops Ford flying even higher. It’s that millstone around their neck, called debt. And lots of it. About $27.3b in the most recent quarter. Some economists believe that is what is depressing Ford’s stock price. Well, it seems Mr Mulally is going to have a laser focus on this problem.

So, this weekend has been crowned “ Sexual exploitation” weekend? See what happens when you put a German in charge? If you can pull your eyes away from the scantily clad ladies, who have nothing between their ears, except for the photographer’s tongue, and look at a calendar, you’ll see that October is upon us. The beginning of a month. What could that mean? It’s the monthly sales figures! Which leads us to Toyota.

Honda reports a healthy 26.1 percent rise in their sales in the United States. However, there’s a little more to this figure than meets the eye. Do you think that Honda branded vehicles carried all the weight in September…?

You’ve probably digested September’s sales figures. Now comes the paying the bill part. Quite literally. Edmunds (via Newswire) has broken out the incentive figures.Industry average for September 2010 stands at $2,576 (lower than August 2010, which stood at $2,701 for the month).

Putting Brazil aside for a second (Sorry, Marcello!) Asia is where the car industry is looking for their next piece of pie. There’s Russia (let’s face it, Russia is more in Asia that it is in Europe), China, Japan and India. All markets with either big potential and/or plenty of customers. But there is a 5th place which always gets overlooked. South East Asia. Countries like Thailand, Indonesia and Singapore are growing just as well, as the aforementioned countries, but never get the same attention. Well, someone has noticed their potential.

Now that Volkswagen is the de facto owner of Porsche, after Porsche’s audacious bid to take over Wolfsburg ended in utter defeat, one has to ask oneself: “Is Volkswagen going to embarrass Porsche any further?” The answer appears to be “yes”. Let me explain…

I used to play poker a lot. So I’m perfectly aware of the old adage “ Strong is weak and weak is strong“. If someone is acting weak, chances are, they’ve got a good hand and are trying to lull you into a false sense of security. Likewise, if someone is acting bold, then there’s a good chance they’ve got “rags” and are trying to scare you off to collect the pot for themselves. Like when Cerberus purchased Chrysler. It was an open secret in the industry that Chrysler was ready for the knacker’s yard…again. But Cerberus still pushed ahead with the purchase. Eventually, Chrysler failed and Cerberus lost money. Which made everyone wonder “What were you thinking?” I have a suspicion people will start asking the same question about Toyota soon.