QOTD: Trouble With Words?

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems

Yesterday, the illustrious and quite tall Matthew Guy asked about the most linguistically pleasing model names. I tossed out the AMC Ambassador as a model that rolls off the tongue in a flood of satisfaction.

AMC Ambassador — it’s like one of those old, alliteration-addicted British airliners like the Bristol Brabazon or Vickers Vanguard. Actually, one airliner to roll out of the UK at the time was the Airspeed Ambassador, so AMC’s biggest offering had a friend on the other side of the pond.

While we’re not here today to talk about names per se, we are about to delve into wordplay again. What automotive term gets under your skin?

There’s a long list to choose from, but your truly finds himself getting rankled when the going gets poncy, as Corey might say. High-falutin’ words spouted by car nerds and German executives in sharp suits who wouldn’t dare use the term in a dingy bar far from the bright lights of the big city.

Speaking of Corey, “heckblende” is a word our friend uses to annoy this writer. To normal people, this obnoxious term signifies the presence of a full-width taillight assembly, not unlike that found on an Olds Aurora or a 1970 Ford Thunderbird. Don’t ever use this awful word.

There’s now a new and very specialized term struggling to get itself established in written materials pouring out of the Fatherland, and that term is “foot garage.” Coined by Porsche to refer to a pair of indentations in the new Taycan’s underfloor battery pack, these battery dents provide greater real estate for backseat occupants’ feet. In other words, they’re a footwell extension, yet Porsche decided to give this feature a name. And what a name.

I suppose my gloves are hand garages.

Sure, automakers can assign whatever name they want to a new or mildly updated feature; these aren’t industry-wide things with agreed-upon monikers. They’re not rocker or sail panels or spoilers or what have you. Of course, sometimes terms denoting a component, feature or bodystyle differ depending on where you stand geographically. Born into a life of castles and tweed? It’s not a convertible — it’s a drop-head coupe. It’s an estate car, not a wagon. It’s a rev counter, not a tach.

We’ve got names for everything.

It’s now time to use your words to rant and gripe about that particular name, term, or descriptive word found in the auto arena that gets under your skin.

[Image: © 2017 Jeff Wilson/The Truth About Cars]

Steph Willems
Steph Willems

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  • Slavuta Slavuta on Sep 17, 2019

    "Tesla Autopilot". ha-ha-ha

  • Wodehouse Wodehouse on Sep 17, 2019

    Alcantara We all know what it really is...faux-suede or suede-ette much like faux-leather is coined leatherette. The word doesn't annoy me, it just makes me smile whenever it's used to "upmarket" an automotive interior.

    • Jamespdx Jamespdx on Sep 17, 2019

      Yeah . . . sorta like vinyl was once an optional "upgrade" to standard fabric . . . of course I'm dating myself a bit . . .

  • 28-Cars-Later A little pricy given mileage but probably not a horrible proposition for a Sunday car. The old saying is you're not buying a pre-owned car you're buying the previous owner, and this one has it hooked up to a float charger (the fact he even knows what one is, is a very good sign IMO). Leather and interior look decent, not sure which motor this runs but its probably common (for VAG at least). Body and paint look clean, manual trans, I see the appeal."but I think that's just a wire, not a cracked body panel." Tim, its a float charger. I am doing the exact same thing with the charger hanging via a magnetic hook on the HVAC overhead in my garage.
  • Bd2 Nissan is at the bottom of the market while Hyundai and Kia are almost at the zenith summit.
  • Theflyersfan Then what caused that odd melted crayon smell that new VWs had for ages? Was that the smell of the soft touch plastics beginning their slow but endless march back into their base elements?And you know what gets rid of any new car smell body killing emissions? Top down, drive fast. Cures everything.
  • IBx1 I had the displeasure of driving a CTS5 while my 1st gen CTS-V was in the shop for a brake line recall, and that was an absolute pile of garbage. Hyper sensitive brakes, stiff crashy suspension, a horrible sounding 4-cylinder, and this is what people fawn over?
  • Jkross22 The CX9 we leased and will be returning soon smelled like a dentist's office for the first 2 years. Big Dental must have paid dearly for that.
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