QOTD: Dealing With Depression?

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems

No, not depreciation — though that might come into play here, too. A great number of car models are lackluster, deficient in style, reliability or panache, or basically appeal to buyers only for their low cost of ownership. Some vehicles are simply appliances, nothing more.

Yet appliances stimulate little in the way of bad emotion. They’re not meant to. So, despite the blandness of some vehicles, you wouldn’t call them depressing. No, that term is reserved for a very specific cohort of rides. Which models are they?

The topic of this discussion arose from a movie debate, perhaps one sparked by CNN’s obsessive campaign against a certain flick your author had no intention of seeing, but now might shell out for a ticket. The movie looks a little grim. A little depressing in its subject matter and character arc.

Sure, lots of movies are downers, but few add weight to your bones and leave life a little less colorless hours, if not days, after watching. Then there’s movies like Ordinary People (great Olds, Donald) or The Deer Hunter. There’s that episode of Black Mirror about the U.S. college student and the shadowy UK video game developer that stuck with me for days. Films and shows like this leave a mark.

And so do some vehicles. Directors try to insert such vehicles into films to give a sense of what the characters’ lives must be like; to have the vehicle embody the type of person they are, or the situation the character finds themselves in. Remember the jobless, unravelling D FENS abandoning his 1978 Chevette on a crowded L.A. freeway and walking off into the city, (empty) briefcase in hand? Think of how different that scene — and character — would be if you instead watched Michael Douglas exiting a purple 1970 Barracuda 440.

You get the point.

Some vehicles simply lack almost any redeeming figure, and the passage of time isn’t likely to make such mediocrity cool or quirky again (in some unlikely cases, this isn’t the case. Oddball vehicles or grim crapwagons can experience a resurgence in popularity among the hipster contrarian set). And while your author might be more quick to find silver linings than others, the fact remains that the derisive descriptor “penalty box” exists for a reason. What car model, perhaps one you have personal dealings with, is simply irredeemable, leaving you feeling bad for anyone seen driving one?

[Image: Murilee Martin/TTAC]

Steph Willems
Steph Willems

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  • PandaBear PandaBear on Oct 08, 2019

    Not any particular car, just a particular previous owner (my father in law). Trashed Escort with broken AC and worn struts, crumbled plug wires and misfiring, dirty MAF sensor and CEL, leaking radiator, dirty dirty interior, faded paint, tearing seat belt (how the heck can that happen?), missing floor mats, flooded trunk, boil over battery acid spill (he believes in acid top off instead of water). Crushed for $1k baaqmd payment. Trashed Camry with leaking roof, flooded interior from the leaking roof, P0420, stuck window guide, stuck motorized seat guide, cracked sun visor, dirty dirty interior, missing floor mats, missing radio buttons, exhaust leak, Xmas tree blinking light dash, oil leaks from every gaskets, broken thermostat, won't past smog if you don't drive on the freeway for at least 1 hr. Sold for very little money as an old people grocery car.

  • Mike-NB2 Mike-NB2 on Oct 08, 2019

    I had a Jeep Patriot as a rental a couple of years ago. I presume it was FWD only, though that isn't relevant. This was probably the worst modern vehicle I have ever driven. It had nothing redeeming about it. I was struck by the thought that it was likely sold to people who wanted the Jeep name even if it was a glorified wagon. (And for the record, I love wagons and hatchbacks.)

  • MaintenanceCosts Poorly packaged, oddly proportioned small CUV with an unrefined hybrid powertrain and a luxury-market price? Who wouldn't want it?
  • MaintenanceCosts Who knows whether it rides or handles acceptably or whether it chews up a set of tires in 5000 miles, but we definitely know it has a "mature stance."Sounds like JUST the kind of previous owner you'd want…
  • 28-Cars-Later Nissan will be very fortunate to not be in the Japanese equivalent of Chapter 11 reorganization over the next 36 months, "getting rolling" is a luxury (also, I see what you did there).
  • MaintenanceCosts RAM! RAM! RAM! ...... the child in the crosswalk that you can't see over the hood of this factory-lifted beast.
  • 3-On-The-Tree Yes all the Older Land Cruiser’s and samurai’s have gone up here as well. I’ve taken both vehicle ps on some pretty rough roads exploring old mine shafts etc. I bought mine right before I deployed back in 08 and got it for $4000 and also bought another that is non running for parts, got a complete engine, drive train. The mice love it unfortunately.
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