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Not long ago, I described the Mercedes-Benz GLE as “a cross between the new S-Class coupe and a growth of the Human Papilloma Virus.” I stand by that statement.
A completely unoriginal derivative turd, the GLE is basically an X6 rip-off made by Mercedes-Benz. Even worse, it wears an “AMG” badge, despite sharing nothing with the great AMG cars of past and present. It is little more than a sop to consumers in the BRIC countries, and a naked play at profit and volume by Daimler.
One part of me wishes them well for shrewdly playing off the needs and wants of the legions of people who would buy this thing. The other part of me wants to reach for the liquid nitrogen canister and cryo-therapy this thing off the face of the earth.
93 Comments on “Undisguised Mercedes-Benz GLE Coupe Still Looks Like A Mash-Up Of An S-Class And A Wart...”
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“Mercedes-Benz GLE Still Looks Like A Mash-Up Of An S-Class And A Wart”
Derek said it, not me
And adding salt to the pustulent wart, the wheels are grotesquely large . . .
It looks more like a Honda Crosstour…
With influences from Lincoln (integrated rear spoiler) and those ugly black boy-racer wheels they’ve been putting on Subarus.
The first picture reminded me of the AMC Spirit hatchback, but that came with a V8 as an AMX. But then I noticed its bulbous form and four doors. I’d rather have the Spirit.
I still think it looks better than the X6…
Also, the interior is interesting insomuch as its probably going to be the next-gen ML/GLE’s interior as well.
“looks better than the X6”: a bar so low James Cameron can’t find it.
…S-Class and a big, red zit”
Fixed.
It looks like an X6, just not as sleek. I’d never buy either of them, but I don’t hate it.
I think that Jeremy Clarkson said it best when he described the Chrysler Crossfire a few years back… it looks like a dog taking a dump. Speaking of turds it also looks like a polished first generation VW New Beetle.
Nope, the Mercedes that looks like a dog taking a dump is the CLA.
I can’t help but think that when I see a current Honda CR-V from the rear.
Dear Mercedes: There’s a reason the Crosstour has a whole market segment all to itself.
BMW X6
Quite a few of these where I live. Just saw a new X4 yesterday.
There are two OR THREE Crosstours and a ZDX in my work parking garage, and 1000 people work here.
It’s not that bad. Although the X6 looks better.
And you better get used to it as this thing will sell.
Exactly!
If it were a coupe they could call it the AMC Spirit.
It looks like a front clip off of a Dodge Caliber grafted to a 150% scale Pontiac Aspire.
I think you mean Ford Aspire
Or the Pontiac Astre?
I don’t think this is a GLE…. it’s a GLE coupe
The rumor is that the ML SUVs will renamed the GLE.
GLE/ML = X5
GLE Coupe = X6
Looks like Derek needs to do some editing…
Looks like a 2005-era Mazda 3 sedan that’s been give the donk treatment. Nice.
I love how all manufacturers have joined together to make the car world a more welcoming place for 5’4″ people.
Won’t they have a hearty laugh on us big stupids who can’t even enter these things much less see anything out of them? No matter how jacked-up they may be; that just puts the seat closer to the roof.
I really like it.
Good for you! You should buy one!
As for me, I’ll keep my minivan for its classy looks (relatively speaking), thank you.
I would never buy one; I just like the look.
Wow, that just looks really….odd. Interestingly, I just spotted a BMW X4 today on the road. Much better application than this thing.
The AMC eagle hatch lives on!!!
http://supafly.com/blog/2008/04/22/2008-bmw-x6-1984-amc-eagle/
I actually kind of like that in the sense that it’s an Off-Road S-Class. Would like to see one with big off-road tires. Kind of post-apocalyptic.
To paraphrase Jeremy Clarkson… so it’s not a proper off road car, so it can’t go offroad, but it’s also not a good road car, because it’s too biased towards going off road.
I seriously don’t understand people who like these cars. I almost get the appeal of a BMW X5, but then taking all the practicality out of it? Then to put up with a stupid sized boot, terrible fuel economy and no rear HEAD room? At least impractical sports cars have a purpose.
This and the BMW thing are so ugly I don’t understand why anyone would want one. I think I’d rather drive an Aztec.
I’d take the BMW variant all day long over this and I’d take almost anything over an Aztec. The BMW X4 and 6 are resonbably popular where I live. Here it’s about a 50/50 split between the X6 and the X6M.
And adding salt to the pustulent wart, the wheels are grotesquely large . . .
I never did get CUVs with rounded rumps, so you’re willing to pay the extra $ for a CUV and the compromised handling that comes with it, but you don’t want the extra cargo capacity or, you know a flat roof?
I appreciate the bluntness of the article Derek, why they even call this thing a “coupe” baffles me.
Years ago Mercedes justified its tiny fins by saying “they’re for stability”, now they don’t even know what a “coupe” is, nor do they try to justify their ignorance.
Calling it a coupe is part of Mercedes new naming scheme that was touted to make things “less confusing” as stated by them.
I think that just adds to the confusion.
So the good people of the BRIC nations have no taste, correct?
What exactly is wrong with profit?
Totally agree. If it doesn’t fit Mr. Kreindler’s refined western, white taste, it is obviously not a worthy product. Tone-deaf, borderline cultural imperialism.
“refined western, white taste”
Congrats, we don’t get a lot of humor this time of morning.
Mr. Kreindler is just speaking to the demographic that reads TTAC
“borderline cultural imperialism”
So what the hell culture are *you* from, Vega? Inuit?
I’m betting your ancestry is just as European as mine.
Are we still talking about the Aryan Mercedes-Benz?
I’m European, however I don’t feel insulted by the fact that in a global market Mercedes has to build cars for other cultures also.
Mr Kreindler however seems to disagree: ‘ It is little more than a sop to consumers in the BRIC countries’ He obviously thinks building cars that cater to the taste of people from these regions is disgusting and should not be pursued.
I took it to mean that he (Derek) thinks that *Mercedes* is the one who thinks that the BRIC countries are prone to dubious automotive tastes and would find this appealing thus is aimed directly at them. Something the Euro-elite would never be caught dead in
Though, I think it’s aimed at the “money, no taste” set which transcends all international boarders
hey disgusting European,
You’re welcome from saving you from Hitler.
-refined western, whitey
@tresmomos If you had used correct grammar your post would merely be tasteless, insulting and missing the point. As it stands however it is almost a fine piece of absurd performance art.
Take a moment and imagine my prose being spoken through a mouth full of chewing tobacco and saliva.
Sometimes my verbose vernacular is fitting for moments like these. Whatever the f*ck they are.
Gtfo and go back to tumblr. We dont need these sort of divisive comments here. The previous EIC was fired for your specific brand of horse shit.
You should say “Derek’s old angry white man taste” – this is a proper way to describe imperialist aggressor, in US at least.
I don’t mind that Mr. Krindler dislikes the car, he is entitled to his opinion and to express it. I am not excited by it either.
What I mind is the assumption that Mercedes Benz designed this car for people of poor taste and then specifies with a broad stroke BRIC nations and then just to top it off, derides the goal of capitalism, profit. It’s the “those people” mentality and the double standards of who is allowed to make a profit and who is not that is not worthy of this site.
Mr. Krindler failed to specify that these are his opinions, in fact it is written like these views are fact. This is what annoys me, at best it is unprofessional.
With those wheels all a hoodrat needs is some flashy rims and your halfway to you jacked up gangsta ride. The badge and style is ideal for G-macin
New Mercedes slogan: The ugliest or nothing!
I saw a new S-class coupe today. I didn’t even know it was a Mercedes until I saw the grill. Then, I didn’t know it was an S-class. It could almost have been another entry in their sorry-substitute-for-an-Acura line. I had to go to their website to see what was wearing Buick tail lights.
Mercedes must have gotten its inspiration from Hot Wheels toy cars.
At least it has the requisite ground clearance to be able to jump that shark.
Remember when Mercedes stood for stoic and refined class, elegance, and grace?
Pepperidge Farm remembers…
Mercedes GLE: When a BMW 5-series GT just isn’t ugly enough
New car styling is just like car names, apparently all the good ones have already been taken. So in the spirit of naming cars alphanumerically like kitchen appliances, it’s easier to design a blot on the landscape than to waste time coming up with a truly great shape. And the knuckle- draggers buy ’em anyway.
Welcome to the “I give up” world of vehicle styling.
Mercedes Pacer.
This thing looks stupider than an AMC Pacer. Ugh! Ugh! Uggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!
WTF is this s#!t? I can’t believe Mercedes decided to participate in this nonsense. Ugh…
Congratulations Daimler on building the 1982 AMC Eagle Wagon, bravo.
Should have killed this frankenstein when it was still in pre-production. So a hatchback CLA wasn’t enough, we had to go full -something-.
Also why are steering wheels not round anymore? I noticed this with Lexus and now Daimler is putting on a wheel with a flat line on the bottom.
I wonder if anyone who had anything to do with the original AMC Eagle is still around to see this and thinking, “See, told you”
http://smog-era.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/amc-eagle-1982.jpg
Hard to believe those Eagle rims are only 15″. Without the chrome strip visually enlarging and drawing attention to them, the wheels wouldn’t even begin to approximate the toddler’s pull-toy proportions of this Mercedes.
Loved the Eagle in it’s day. Second only to the tip-me-over generation of Troopers I couldn’t afford new, either. I was an ’80s frustrato.
I too wanted an Eagle in the worst way, but right out of school I landed my first “real” job in Atlanta didn’t really need a car with such all-weather/off-road prowess, so I bought a house instead
I remember vividly watching some random foot ball game with my father, splayed on the floor with the Sunday funnies before me, when the AMC Eagle Wagon commercial came on. It was the first ad I’d ever seen where a car was whooshing through a raging snowstorm with Dad and Ma hurriedly rushing their sick daughter to the hospital. “How are we going to make it in this weather??!!”, gasped Ma. “Thanks to AMC Eagle’s push-button Four Wheel Drive, we’ll make it, dear.”, assured Pa. Que the voice over.
I was so impressed with the fit and finish and the 4WD on a wagon! Staggered I turned to my Father and inquired his thoughts. He rattled his Sneaky Pete “trade” sheets, looked down at me in my Knight Rider PJs slung on the floor, and stoically said, “Why the hell would ANYONE want a Goddammed grocery getter when we got the Granada? That car will last for years. Ain’t no way anyone be stupid enought to want one of those.”
I still want one. The progeniture of the Subie Outback only cooler. And seemingly all those cliched AWD ads.
… as he bounces across the the Serengeti in his AMC Eagle clad in nothing but his Knight Rider PJs he thrusts his single-digit extended fist out the manual crank-down window and shouts, “Screw-you, Granada-driving establishment!” and in a billowing cloud of African dust, fades into the sunset
And I would do it with the aplomb of Jeremy Clarkson steaming across Botswana in his 1981 Lancia Beta Coupé. And would look much better for it in me KRPJs.
And for the record, there is no Granada driving establishment. Thankfully the last of the breed rusted its last bolt away in complete obscurity other than a Malaise Era punchline. Now if we could only talk down the Ford Tempo enthusiast club.
There’s not a lot of AMC Eagles trailblazing across the landscape anymore either… He then woke to the sound of his mother’s voice whispering, “Better get up, dear, you don’t want to be late for school”
It was only a dream…
“AMG” badge, despite sharing nothing with the great AMG cars of past and present” I know it sounds cool and edgy, but that’s just ignorant.
The engine in this thing (It’s GLE coupe by the way) is a higher performance version of an existing MB engine. Just like AMG models of yore like the C36 AMG. Why ist it bad to offer two tiers of sporty models, just like Audi does it with their S and RS models?
Facts are obviously not important if they don’t fit the narrative.
To be fair, I don’t find the styling of this Merc to be horribly offensive to the palate as it compares to the hideous BMW X6. When compared to other cars now is wehre things go awry.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought Mercedes’ new naming strategy would have the ML called the GLE and this…thing…called something else?
Continuing on the AMC theme, I think it looks more like a Dubbed and Bangled Hudson or Kaiser from the 40’s or 50’s. Being a man of stature, I agree with the midget car observations. On my last car purchase a couple or years back I was surprised by the tiny interior spaces provisioned on what by outwards appearances where large cars and trucks.
There’s not a 3 year-old boy on Earth who wouldn’t squeal with delight seeing this and want to pull it home on a string.
Rather have a puppy follow me home :)
Well, shyeah…
Or, a Jeep on the winch-end of that “string” if anyone tries to “off-road” this bulbous-tired beast…
If you shrunk this thing to 2″ long, it would look a lot like a Hot Wheels toy.
“a Hot Wheels toy”
Yep. Mercedes isn’t stupid.
Yes, Hot Wheels…
http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20081127023730/hotwheels/images/1/17/Mystery_Car_Technetium_-_6513df.jpg
Intrigued that they borrowed the greenhouse profile from a 2012 Ford Focus, which is where the “good” news ends. For once I am glad to say I live in a Podunk little town where a 5 year old 911 is exotic and most money drives an RX350 or a Big Jesus Truck. I’ll never see one of these goofy rigs here.
I’m starting to think the Acura ZDX needs a reboot.
That’s just it, the ZDX was a bust the X6 doesn’t exactly have them standing in line cash in hand, yet Mercedes thinks it’s a good idea?
The X6 is at least a cohesive design—although I’d get an X5 and pocket the savings—but this is just dog-ugly, much worse than the ZDX or said Bimmer. It’s got scoops and droops in all the wrong places, and I can’t believe it’s actually going to be a road-going vehicle. I’d liken it to an Accord Crosstour after too much cosmetic surgery.
So, who is the target market for this thing?
Money, no taste, no clue, no idea and no hope
So no matter what any of us think of this design BMW must sell enough X6s that MB needs something to compete with it. I saw the poor mans version Honda Crosstour this morning. Pretty rare around here.
But why not an actual crossover?
So that you can have a practical family vehicle, ensconced in gauche bling?
Should National Lampoon’s Family Vacation get a remake we now have the perfect car for them, an ugly thing that demonstrates everything wrong with modern car design like having four-doors but only room for two.
This is the logical outcome of a Verano sleeping with a CLA. It’s even got the chrome uni-brow to prove it.
Bert Status, eh?
Getting tired of the disappearing comments trick. Now that I am putting this back in session, let’s try it again!
Would the good folks at TTAC allow me an opinion of how the GLE suits my automotive palette?
The interior? It’s b!tch. Me likey.
As for the exterior, it’s missing a toddler sitting up and out of the roof. It would look right at home doing approximately 5 mph running over yard gnomes on the lawn.
“*Pow* *Pow* Power Wheels!!”
May be Mercedes is building this thing for Germans or Europeans? Why to insult BRIC countries. BTW it can be quickly refurbished as a military activity vehicle in coming war with Russia over Ukraine.
OK fine, this makes the CLA look good.