By on December 9, 2014

004

Not long ago, I described the Mercedes-Benz GLE as “a cross between the new S-Class coupe and a growth of the Human Papilloma Virus.” I stand by that statement.

A completely unoriginal derivative turd, the GLE is basically an X6 rip-off made by Mercedes-Benz. Even worse, it wears an “AMG” badge, despite sharing nothing with the great AMG cars of past and present. It is little more than a sop to consumers in the BRIC countries, and a naked play at profit and volume by Daimler.

One part of me wishes them well for shrewdly playing off the needs and wants of the legions of people who would buy this thing. The other part of me wants to reach for the liquid nitrogen canister and cryo-therapy this thing off the face of the earth.

 

Get the latest TTAC e-Newsletter!

93 Comments on “Undisguised Mercedes-Benz GLE Coupe Still Looks Like A Mash-Up Of An S-Class And A Wart...”


  • avatar
    Lie2me

    “Mercedes-Benz GLE Still Looks Like A Mash-Up Of An S-Class And A Wart”

    Derek said it, not me

  • avatar
    craiger

    It looks like an X6, just not as sleek. I’d never buy either of them, but I don’t hate it.

  • avatar
    EvilEdHarris

    I think that Jeremy Clarkson said it best when he described the Chrysler Crossfire a few years back… it looks like a dog taking a dump. Speaking of turds it also looks like a polished first generation VW New Beetle.

  • avatar
    Russycle

    Dear Mercedes: There’s a reason the Crosstour has a whole market segment all to itself.

  • avatar
    Athos Nobile

    It’s not that bad. Although the X6 looks better.

    And you better get used to it as this thing will sell.

  • avatar
    thornmark

    If it were a coupe they could call it the AMC Spirit.

  • avatar
    FormerFF

    It looks like a front clip off of a Dodge Caliber grafted to a 150% scale Pontiac Aspire.

  • avatar
    sparc

    I don’t think this is a GLE…. it’s a GLE coupe

    The rumor is that the ML SUVs will renamed the GLE.

    GLE/ML = X5
    GLE Coupe = X6

    Looks like Derek needs to do some editing…

  • avatar
    azmtbkr81

    Looks like a 2005-era Mazda 3 sedan that’s been give the donk treatment. Nice.

  • avatar
    petezeiss

    I love how all manufacturers have joined together to make the car world a more welcoming place for 5’4″ people.

    Won’t they have a hearty laugh on us big stupids who can’t even enter these things much less see anything out of them? No matter how jacked-up they may be; that just puts the seat closer to the roof.

  • avatar
    SCE to AUX

    I really like it.

  • avatar
    energetik9

    Wow, that just looks really….odd. Interestingly, I just spotted a BMW X4 today on the road. Much better application than this thing.

  • avatar
    nickoo

    The AMC eagle hatch lives on!!!

    http://supafly.com/blog/2008/04/22/2008-bmw-x6-1984-amc-eagle/

  • avatar
    Mandalorian

    I actually kind of like that in the sense that it’s an Off-Road S-Class. Would like to see one with big off-road tires. Kind of post-apocalyptic.

  • avatar
    Dsemaj

    To paraphrase Jeremy Clarkson… so it’s not a proper off road car, so it can’t go offroad, but it’s also not a good road car, because it’s too biased towards going off road.

    I seriously don’t understand people who like these cars. I almost get the appeal of a BMW X5, but then taking all the practicality out of it? Then to put up with a stupid sized boot, terrible fuel economy and no rear HEAD room? At least impractical sports cars have a purpose.

  • avatar
    Trick Fall

    This and the BMW thing are so ugly I don’t understand why anyone would want one. I think I’d rather drive an Aztec.

    • 0 avatar
      energetik9

      I’d take the BMW variant all day long over this and I’d take almost anything over an Aztec. The BMW X4 and 6 are resonbably popular where I live. Here it’s about a 50/50 split between the X6 and the X6M.

  • avatar
    Secret Hi5

    And adding salt to the pustulent wart, the wheels are grotesquely large . . .

  • avatar
    Ryoku75

    I never did get CUVs with rounded rumps, so you’re willing to pay the extra $ for a CUV and the compromised handling that comes with it, but you don’t want the extra cargo capacity or, you know a flat roof?

    I appreciate the bluntness of the article Derek, why they even call this thing a “coupe” baffles me.

    Years ago Mercedes justified its tiny fins by saying “they’re for stability”, now they don’t even know what a “coupe” is, nor do they try to justify their ignorance.

  • avatar
    Beerboy12

    So the good people of the BRIC nations have no taste, correct?
    What exactly is wrong with profit?

    • 0 avatar
      Vega

      Totally agree. If it doesn’t fit Mr. Kreindler’s refined western, white taste, it is obviously not a worthy product. Tone-deaf, borderline cultural imperialism.

      • 0 avatar
        petezeiss

        “refined western, white taste”

        Congrats, we don’t get a lot of humor this time of morning.

      • 0 avatar
        Lie2me

        Mr. Kreindler is just speaking to the demographic that reads TTAC

      • 0 avatar
        petezeiss

        “borderline cultural imperialism”

        So what the hell culture are *you* from, Vega? Inuit?
        I’m betting your ancestry is just as European as mine.

        • 0 avatar
          Lie2me

          Are we still talking about the Aryan Mercedes-Benz?

        • 0 avatar
          Vega

          I’m European, however I don’t feel insulted by the fact that in a global market Mercedes has to build cars for other cultures also.

          Mr Kreindler however seems to disagree: ‘ It is little more than a sop to consumers in the BRIC countries’ He obviously thinks building cars that cater to the taste of people from these regions is disgusting and should not be pursued.

          • 0 avatar
            Lie2me

            I took it to mean that he (Derek) thinks that *Mercedes* is the one who thinks that the BRIC countries are prone to dubious automotive tastes and would find this appealing thus is aimed directly at them. Something the Euro-elite would never be caught dead in

            Though, I think it’s aimed at the “money, no taste” set which transcends all international boarders

          • 0 avatar
            tresmonos

            hey disgusting European,
            You’re welcome from saving you from Hitler.
            -refined western, whitey

          • 0 avatar
            Vega

            @tresmomos If you had used correct grammar your post would merely be tasteless, insulting and missing the point. As it stands however it is almost a fine piece of absurd performance art.

          • 0 avatar
            tresmonos

            Take a moment and imagine my prose being spoken through a mouth full of chewing tobacco and saliva.

            Sometimes my verbose vernacular is fitting for moments like these. Whatever the f*ck they are.

      • 0 avatar
        nickoo

        Gtfo and go back to tumblr. We dont need these sort of divisive comments here. The previous EIC was fired for your specific brand of horse shit.

      • 0 avatar

        You should say “Derek’s old angry white man taste” – this is a proper way to describe imperialist aggressor, in US at least.

    • 0 avatar
      Beerboy12

      I don’t mind that Mr. Krindler dislikes the car, he is entitled to his opinion and to express it. I am not excited by it either.
      What I mind is the assumption that Mercedes Benz designed this car for people of poor taste and then specifies with a broad stroke BRIC nations and then just to top it off, derides the goal of capitalism, profit. It’s the “those people” mentality and the double standards of who is allowed to make a profit and who is not that is not worthy of this site.
      Mr. Krindler failed to specify that these are his opinions, in fact it is written like these views are fact. This is what annoys me, at best it is unprofessional.

  • avatar

    With those wheels all a hoodrat needs is some flashy rims and your halfway to you jacked up gangsta ride. The badge and style is ideal for G-macin

  • avatar
    goacom

    New Mercedes slogan: The ugliest or nothing!

    • 0 avatar
      CJinSD

      I saw a new S-class coupe today. I didn’t even know it was a Mercedes until I saw the grill. Then, I didn’t know it was an S-class. It could almost have been another entry in their sorry-substitute-for-an-Acura line. I had to go to their website to see what was wearing Buick tail lights.

    • 0 avatar
      STRATOS

      Mercedes must have gotten its inspiration from Hot Wheels toy cars.

  • avatar

    At least it has the requisite ground clearance to be able to jump that shark.

    Remember when Mercedes stood for stoic and refined class, elegance, and grace?

    Pepperidge Farm remembers…

  • avatar
    TW5

    Mercedes GLE: When a BMW 5-series GT just isn’t ugly enough

  • avatar
    wmba

    New car styling is just like car names, apparently all the good ones have already been taken. So in the spirit of naming cars alphanumerically like kitchen appliances, it’s easier to design a blot on the landscape than to waste time coming up with a truly great shape. And the knuckle- draggers buy ’em anyway.

    Welcome to the “I give up” world of vehicle styling.

  • avatar
    pb35

    Mercedes Pacer.

  • avatar
    Superdessucke

    This thing looks stupider than an AMC Pacer. Ugh! Ugh! Uggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!

  • avatar
    VenomV12

    WTF is this s#!t? I can’t believe Mercedes decided to participate in this nonsense. Ugh…

  • avatar
    28-Cars-Later

    Congratulations Daimler on building the 1982 AMC Eagle Wagon, bravo.

    Should have killed this frankenstein when it was still in pre-production. So a hatchback CLA wasn’t enough, we had to go full -something-.

    Also why are steering wheels not round anymore? I noticed this with Lexus and now Daimler is putting on a wheel with a flat line on the bottom.

    • 0 avatar
      Lie2me

      I wonder if anyone who had anything to do with the original AMC Eagle is still around to see this and thinking, “See, told you”

      http://smog-era.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/amc-eagle-1982.jpg

      • 0 avatar
        petezeiss

        Hard to believe those Eagle rims are only 15″. Without the chrome strip visually enlarging and drawing attention to them, the wheels wouldn’t even begin to approximate the toddler’s pull-toy proportions of this Mercedes.

        Loved the Eagle in it’s day. Second only to the tip-me-over generation of Troopers I couldn’t afford new, either. I was an ’80s frustrato.

        • 0 avatar
          Lie2me

          I too wanted an Eagle in the worst way, but right out of school I landed my first “real” job in Atlanta didn’t really need a car with such all-weather/off-road prowess, so I bought a house instead

          • 0 avatar
            dolorean

            I remember vividly watching some random foot ball game with my father, splayed on the floor with the Sunday funnies before me, when the AMC Eagle Wagon commercial came on. It was the first ad I’d ever seen where a car was whooshing through a raging snowstorm with Dad and Ma hurriedly rushing their sick daughter to the hospital. “How are we going to make it in this weather??!!”, gasped Ma. “Thanks to AMC Eagle’s push-button Four Wheel Drive, we’ll make it, dear.”, assured Pa. Que the voice over.

            I was so impressed with the fit and finish and the 4WD on a wagon! Staggered I turned to my Father and inquired his thoughts. He rattled his Sneaky Pete “trade” sheets, looked down at me in my Knight Rider PJs slung on the floor, and stoically said, “Why the hell would ANYONE want a Goddammed grocery getter when we got the Granada? That car will last for years. Ain’t no way anyone be stupid enought to want one of those.”

            I still want one. The progeniture of the Subie Outback only cooler. And seemingly all those cliched AWD ads.

          • 0 avatar
            Lie2me

            … as he bounces across the the Serengeti in his AMC Eagle clad in nothing but his Knight Rider PJs he thrusts his single-digit extended fist out the manual crank-down window and shouts, “Screw-you, Granada-driving establishment!” and in a billowing cloud of African dust, fades into the sunset

          • 0 avatar
            dolorean

            And I would do it with the aplomb of Jeremy Clarkson steaming across Botswana in his 1981 Lancia Beta Coupé. And would look much better for it in me KRPJs.

            And for the record, there is no Granada driving establishment. Thankfully the last of the breed rusted its last bolt away in complete obscurity other than a Malaise Era punchline. Now if we could only talk down the Ford Tempo enthusiast club.

          • 0 avatar
            Lie2me

            There’s not a lot of AMC Eagles trailblazing across the landscape anymore either… He then woke to the sound of his mother’s voice whispering, “Better get up, dear, you don’t want to be late for school”

            It was only a dream…

  • avatar
    Vega

    “AMG” badge, despite sharing nothing with the great AMG cars of past and present” I know it sounds cool and edgy, but that’s just ignorant.

    The engine in this thing (It’s GLE coupe by the way) is a higher performance version of an existing MB engine. Just like AMG models of yore like the C36 AMG. Why ist it bad to offer two tiers of sporty models, just like Audi does it with their S and RS models?

    Facts are obviously not important if they don’t fit the narrative.

  • avatar
    dolorean

    To be fair, I don’t find the styling of this Merc to be horribly offensive to the palate as it compares to the hideous BMW X6. When compared to other cars now is wehre things go awry.

  • avatar
    insalted42

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought Mercedes’ new naming strategy would have the ML called the GLE and this…thing…called something else?

    • 0 avatar
      EasternJC

      Continuing on the AMC theme, I think it looks more like a Dubbed and Bangled Hudson or Kaiser from the 40’s or 50’s. Being a man of stature, I agree with the midget car observations. On my last car purchase a couple or years back I was surprised by the tiny interior spaces provisioned on what by outwards appearances where large cars and trucks.

  • avatar
    petezeiss

    There’s not a 3 year-old boy on Earth who wouldn’t squeal with delight seeing this and want to pull it home on a string.

  • avatar
    Steinweg

    Intrigued that they borrowed the greenhouse profile from a 2012 Ford Focus, which is where the “good” news ends. For once I am glad to say I live in a Podunk little town where a 5 year old 911 is exotic and most money drives an RX350 or a Big Jesus Truck. I’ll never see one of these goofy rigs here.

  • avatar
    zaxxon25

    I’m starting to think the Acura ZDX needs a reboot.

  • avatar

    The X6 is at least a cohesive design—although I’d get an X5 and pocket the savings—but this is just dog-ugly, much worse than the ZDX or said Bimmer. It’s got scoops and droops in all the wrong places, and I can’t believe it’s actually going to be a road-going vehicle. I’d liken it to an Accord Crosstour after too much cosmetic surgery.

  • avatar
    Luke42

    So, who is the target market for this thing?

  • avatar
    Fred

    So no matter what any of us think of this design BMW must sell enough X6s that MB needs something to compete with it. I saw the poor mans version Honda Crosstour this morning. Pretty rare around here.

  • avatar
    Ryoku75

    Should National Lampoon’s Family Vacation get a remake we now have the perfect car for them, an ugly thing that demonstrates everything wrong with modern car design like having four-doors but only room for two.

  • avatar
    CoreyDL

    This is the logical outcome of a Verano sleeping with a CLA. It’s even got the chrome uni-brow to prove it.

  • avatar
    raresleeper

    Getting tired of the disappearing comments trick. Now that I am putting this back in session, let’s try it again!

    Would the good folks at TTAC allow me an opinion of how the GLE suits my automotive palette?

    The interior? It’s b!tch. Me likey.

    As for the exterior, it’s missing a toddler sitting up and out of the roof. It would look right at home doing approximately 5 mph running over yard gnomes on the lawn.

    “*Pow* *Pow* Power Wheels!!”

  • avatar

    May be Mercedes is building this thing for Germans or Europeans? Why to insult BRIC countries. BTW it can be quickly refurbished as a military activity vehicle in coming war with Russia over Ukraine.

  • avatar
    scott25

    OK fine, this makes the CLA look good.

Read all comments

Back to TopLeave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent Comments

  • DenverMike: Consequences? The pot related consequences aren’t even worth mentioning compared to alcohol and all...
  • EBFlex: “ it is about fleets not being willing to commit to purchase a vehicle that doesn’t exist from a company that...
  • Lou_BC: In Canada one study showed similar results. There was an increase in crashes where cannabis and alcohol were...
  • Lou_BC: @golden2husky – in Canada police forces have policies stating that “one must be fit for...
  • Old_WRX: 28, Salvuta, Check this out (see my comment below. Maybe this time it will include the URL…...

New Car Research

Get a Free Dealer Quote

Who We Are

  • Adam Tonge
  • Bozi Tatarevic
  • Corey Lewis
  • Mark Baruth
  • Ronnie Schreiber