By on August 4, 2012

Forget Mao suits: “Chinese youngsters know Justin Bieber, hamburgers and Middle East warfare,” reports the culturally clued-in Carnewschina. “They also know this thing called ‘Bikini Car Wash’, many Chinese websites are full with big-breasted American babes bikini washing big engined American cars.”

A car wash in Shanghai made it reality. Except, well, the babes are Chinese.

Someone give the lady a wand,  and a pressure washer.

This looks more like the staff of one of those Chinese hair salons where there is no cutting of hair.

Apart from the lack of displacement on the part of the ladies, the car is no big-engined American metal either, but one of those Teutonic-Italian Lamborghinis. Half-baked American cultural revolution, I’d say.

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22 Comments on “Fake In China: China Copies Bikini Car Wash, Needs More Displacement...”

  • avatar

    Nothing to copy, really.

    The concept of a bikini car wash is in itself so fake and low end that it can only influence the simplest of the simplest of us.

    • 0 avatar

      Glad to hear you’re above mere frivolity, sir. However, I disagree with your stated viewpoint. I enjoy bikini babes myself, and have never felt that my intellect couldn’t handle the lowbrow aspects of obvious marketing ploys. Yourself?

      • 0 avatar

        > have never felt that my intellect couldn’t handle the lowbrow
        > aspects of obvious marketing ploys. Yourself?

        Just being there makes you getting caught into the gears. Afterthoughts about what would have happened if you had come there in a car four times the price always come. Or not just there – anywhere else, with anyone else.

        These might influence your next purchase. And this “might” is enough for the scheme to be effective and continue.

    • 0 avatar
      el scotto

      I’ve eaten a lot of wings and burgers at the Hooters restaurant chain. My dinner companions were usually happily married men who wouldn’t think about fooling around in a million light years. One of them was a college professor who enjoys the “unrefined yet tacky” atmosphere. Overall, a good place to watch the game, engage in man talk, get a hit of grease/hot sauce, and enjoy some beautiful women.

      • 0 avatar

        > My dinner companions were usually happily married men who
        > wouldn’t think about fooling around in a million light years.

        They only say so likely cause a real opportunity never arived. Yet.

      • 0 avatar

        The Beijing Hooters may be the strangest place I’ve ever eaten. Besides having the same uhh… displacement problem, all of the waitresses were really smart college students because you had to speak perfect English to work there. It was like Bizarro-Hooters.

      • 0 avatar

        Oh I’ve found most Hooters waitresses to be intelligent, just having unfortunate hairstyles (higher the hair closer to god) and completely lacking in anything to fill those shorts out.

        (Of course if you left it up to me I’d likely start a restaurant called “Bums”.)

        @bootsfirst, you ever been to a strip club in a college town? You’ll meet future doctors taking their clothes off for you.

      • 0 avatar

        @bootsfirst: Never ever go to Beijing Hooters. Just around the corner is a place called The Den. There you go.

  • avatar

    Personally, I HATE FAKE BREASTS (implants). My chinese girlfriend ShiRui wanted to get them done, but I talked her out of it. If I wanted fake boobs, I’d be with a girl with fake boobs. When I see em, makes me sick to my stomach. I’d rather date an obese American girl to get at that real breast meat filet.

    • 0 avatar

      Not much of a fan of bolt-ons either. However, having a fondness for very fit women sometimes makes them sorta unavoidable. But at least keep them realistic. Massive bolt-ons for a 130 pound woman with 15% body fat just looks ridiculous…..

    • 0 avatar

      And thats why we have a choice… give me a nice set of 34DDs on a 115-lb sexpot any day (my wifes measurements thank you God!)

      To each his own, but its pretty easy to see that way more men like nice big boobs over small ones, and I’m not talking about the ones on fat girls.

  • avatar

    I hope and trust that there is some award sufficiently prestigious to be worth bestowing on a post as eloquent as the one above.

  • avatar

    This is an outrage.

    More outsourcing to China of US jobs.

    Displacement level is OK if they have high-rev capability….

  • avatar

    One of the keys of a car wash is that it must be approachable, e.g. “cheerleader car wash.” In reality, it is a classic bait-and-switch: cheerleaders hold signs on the road to beckon passing motorists, while the actual washing of cars is done by the football team. I’m sure the Chinese will figure that out soon enough, though they would first need both cheerleaders and footballers. Hairdressers and gangsters just doesn’t cut it.

  • avatar

    I think the genre hit its peak with Hal’s daydream of washing a Porsche in Malcolm in the Middle.

  • avatar

    We went to a Hooters charity bikini car wash in college. Got the car washed twice.

  • avatar

    How much for a spit and polish?

    But seriously folks… I would think the Chinese man with real money would figure out how to get a naked woman to wash his car.

  • avatar

    Now, if they’d start doing dude car washes over there, like they do on Church St here, then maybe more Chinese boys would come out to their parents, stay home and not come to Canada for pretend educations so they can drink, snort coke and party all night, while mom & dad think they are studying…..

  • avatar

    I don’t know what the Mandarin for this is, so I’ll say the only ~close way I know:


    There is No Replacement for Displacement!

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