By on August 9, 2011

Six days ago, Honda announced minor revisions to its slow-selling Accord Crosstour. They are summarized in the press release:

For 2012, new features on the Crosstour EX include auto on/off headlights, a rearview camera, Bluetooth®1 HandsFreeLink® and USB audio interface. Two new colors are also available on all Crosstour models: Twilight Blue Metallic replaces Glacier Blue Metallic, and Basque Red Pearl replaces Tango Red Pearl.

The other change: it’s not the “Accord Crosstour” anymore. Like Sting, Madonna, Ke$ha, Shakira, et al, it’s now just the one-word “Crosstour”.

I was curious as to how the automotive media would cover this important news, and how each of the TTAC contributors might cover it, given the chance. If you are, as well, click the jump.

Below are some relevant headlines and quotes. We’ll do this a few times in the months to come with different inconsequential press releases and perhaps you, the TTAC reader, will start to develop a sense of which blurb likely comes from which outlet. Let’s begin.

Honda gives new name, more features to CrosstourUSA Today

“Faced with slow sales, Honda is adding some tweaks and giving its novel car-like crossover a new name.” This is about what I would expect from USA Today, complete with the idiocy of calling a five-door car a “novel car-like crossover”. Wait till they see the novel cat-like quadraped that uses the litterbox at my house!

Honda Accord Crosstour Gets New Name, Price Hike for 2012Inside Line

“The 2012 Honda Crosstour gets more standard features, including auto on/off headlights, Bluetooth and a USB audio interface. A rearview camera is also available. Two new colors are available: Twlight Blue Metallic replaces Glacier Blue Metallic and Basque Red Pearl replaces Tango Red Pearl.” As usual, Anita Lienert provides some of the laziest writing in the business with this re-sketch of the press release. She creates sort of a reverse edit here; the original is more readable.

2012 Honda Crosstour Shortens Name, Gets Minor Price IncreasesMotor Trend

“We can confirm that the base, two-wheel-drive EX model now comes standard with automatic headlights, a rearview back-up camera, Bluetooth, HandsFreeLink, and a USB interface for the sound system… Additionally, all models are available in two new paint colors: Twilight Blue Metallic and Basque Red Pearl, which replace Glacier Blue Metallic and Tango Red Pearl.” Ooh! We can confirm! Think of all the hard work Erick Apanyayaya or whatever the hell his name is must have put in to confirm this. Here’s something I can confirm: Motor Trend blows dead goats.

2012 Honda Crosstour Drops Accord From Name, Gets More EquipmentCar and Driver

“Other than the new kit, higher price, and streamlined name, the 2012 Honda Crosstour is still the same ugly duckling of the Honda family—albeit a versatile, higher-content ugly duckling.” The word you’re looking for, Alexander Stokolsa, is “Despite”, not “Other”. Example: “Despite the best efforts of its writers and editors, Car and Driver is still a particularly inept framing device for MacNeil Products ten-page Special Advertising Sections.”

2012 Honda Crosstour: Ch-Ch-ChangesCars.com

“The 2012 Crosstour starts at $30,340, excluding $810 for destination. That’s $350 more than last year, which means the new model is a better value given the added features.” A valid point, Colin Bird! For that, I will forgive you the sin of misquoting David Bowie.

“Name Change for 2012 Honda Crosstour, Non-Nav Models More Expensive” — Automobile

“For now, Honda wasn’t willing to confirm the four-cylinder engine’s arrival to the Crosstour lineup, which would bring prices below $30,000.” Hmm… Maybe Erick Apanyayaya, who wrote this lack of confirmation, should talk to the Erick Apanyayayayayaya who wrote the Motor Trend article about confirmation. The moral of the story: Some people are lousy writers, some people really like a particular word, and I can now confirm that there is someone out there who has both qualities.

2012 Honda Crosstour PreviewFamily Car Guide

“Bottom line: Powerful engine, sporty appearance and impressive list of standard features make the 2012 Honda Crosstour a good choice for small families. On the downside, other competitors may have more to offer, such as the Toyota Venza, which offers two engines, costs about $4,000 less, has better cargo capacity and slightly better fuel economy.” And that’s the bottom line, courtesy of Suzanne Kane, who tested the 2012 Crosstour using only her imagination, the press release, and what appears from her provided photo to be five horse needles’ worth of Botox.

2012 Honda Crosstour; Not An Accord Any MoreAutoGuide

“Imagine you were one of the most popular kids in school. Then your ugly cousin comes to town, mooching off your success and using your good name for his own advantage. Now you know what it feels like to be the Honda Accord.” Colum Wood skates dangerously close to a no-more-free-Hondas-every-week crack in the ice with this bold metaphor.

2012 Honda Crosstour To Offer MoreCarBuzz

“The 2012 Honda Crosstour has a new name and a much more attractive list of standard equipment…2012 model will offer a ton of standard equipment to help entice buyers… What is clear is that, with the massive list of new standard equipment, the $30,340 base price gives you quite a lot for your money.” It would be nice to call the author of this tripe out by name, but he or she quite wisely posted anonymously.

Have you lost faith in automotive media yet? Don’t worry. I’ve asked each of our major contributors to write a short blurb about the new Crosstour. Well, I didn’t so much ask them as I just pretended in my own head to ask them and then wrote down what I imagined they would write, given the chance. Here you go.

“The Accord Crosstour has been shamefully divested of its hallowed nameplate by a Honda which is already sagging against the ropes thanks to a merciless pounding by the industry, the consumer base, and the very Earth itself… but can the Crosstour come back on the attack?” — Edward Niedermeyer

“The Crosstour’s nose is oversized and disproportionate, leading back along a misaligned series of faux-flame-surfaced panels to a strikingly odd set of rear doors. The rear bumper is a jarring contrast to the sweep of the taillights. Trunk space was excellent. Find out more at True Delta.” — Michael Karesh

“Watch out for wear on the fourth cam lobe” — Steve Lang

“Watch out for great deals on a Grand Marquis Coupe” — Sajeev Mehta

“Watch out for bearded Trotskyites” — Murilee Martin’s mother, warning the neighbors

“Watch out for the caviar at the Ritz, it gave me indigestion last night and I only ate five handfuls” — Guest Columnist “Dutch” Mandel

“Watch out for the Armco on the South Course at Autobahn, it will rip the front end off your press MINI.” — [REDACTED], staffer for now-defunct website which didn’t offer its readers any “motive” to continue reading

“Watch out for J*** B*****, he will seduce your wife and send her uncomfortably intimate, yet depressing, AOL chats afterwards.” — another staffer at the same website

“Watch out for Turn One At Road America, it’s a great place to drive off during your very first lap at the MAMA annual circle-jerk.” — the guy who wrecked the MINI

“Watch out for anybody who tells you that your wife won’t figure out that your ‘free Ducati 1098 press motorcycle’ is actually something you bought with your own money but were too afraid of said wife to admit.” — the former boss of the two guys above

“Watch your God-damn mirror, because I’ve been sitting behind you for THREE LAPS.” — your humble author, talking to a certain automotive traveler after an on-track press event.

“Watch me end this without mentioning Bertel Schmitt” — me

FINIS

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103 Comments on “Big Eggs Made Of Ticky-Tacky: How The Media Reported The 2012 Crosstour...”


  • avatar

    I could not possibly have authored the quote attributed to me–I’d never include a space in “TrueDelta!”

    When will they ever learn? Names that combine that of an existing model with a second word rarely if ever last. Pathfinder Armada and Civic CRX come to mind.

    • 0 avatar

      It is likewise inconceivable that such quote as the one attributed to me could emanate from my keyboard, as I so infrequently indulge in runaway verbosity followed by ellipses and a rhetorical question… or do I?

    • 0 avatar
      philadlj

      The Mitsubishi Montero Sport became the Endeavor. Lesson learned? Sure, until the Outlander Sport arrived.

      Mitsu uses “Sport” to mean “smaller” and/or “cheaper.” Suzuki’s SX4 Sport is a sedan, while the regular SX4 is a 5-door. Is it any wonder both automakers struggle so? :)

      • 0 avatar

        Who was first to so use “Sport”: Mitsubishi, Subaru…or Ford? Does the Explorer Sport count?

        Which reminds me of another: Explorer Sport Trac, or just Sport Trac?

        Another victim that has yet to acquire a distinctive name: the Elantra Touring.

      • 0 avatar
        gottacook

        Subaru has never used “Sport” in the U.S., except for the Impreza Outback Sport offered since the mid-1990s. In that case it denotes pseudo-Outback equipment (larger wheels, two-tone paint, etc.) on the Impreza five-door body, and enables Subaru of America to offer a relatively low-priced “Outback” – although I gather that this designation may be replaced for the equivalent version of the new Impreza coming soon.

    • 0 avatar

      I seem to recall an explanation for this back when the Altima was introduced as the “Sentra Altima” or “Stanza Altima” or whatever its predecessor was named. The names were combined for the first year and then dropped afterward. The reason given at the time was that it was somehow easier to get some types of regulatory certification if you’re improving an existing nameplate rather than creating a new one. Maybe insurance was cheaper or something…that was a long itme ago and I didn’t really care.

      But the same thing happened with the Pathfinder Armada too. Maybe it’s a Nissan thing.

  • avatar
    jaje

    If there is such a literal definition of coyote ugly – Honda has surely found it. Even the Website for it says words like “cool” – no doubt that Honda hasn’t a clue.

    • 0 avatar
      NormSV650

      So if Honda employee gets barred(?) from making not so flattering Facebook comments on the Honda page and the media, which has so tastefully presented, should said employee be maybe considered for a Honda marketing job?

      So yes, a duck is a duck. But this one ugly duckling.

  • avatar
    Jellodyne

    Awkward, ugly abominations rarely if ever last, even if they provide some level of utility. The Pontiac Aztek comes to mind.

  • avatar
    VanillaDude

    Look – it is a new Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera Vista Cruiser Brougham.

  • avatar
    Verbal

    “The 2012 Crosstour is adequate for passing old slow people on the highway shoulder at 110 mph in the rain while having sex with Vodka McBigbra.” – Jack Baruth

  • avatar
    92golf

    Kudos for the Pete Seeger reference……

  • avatar
    Sigivald

    Me, I like the Crosstour*, just like I like the 535 GT.

    I think the Venza is a piece of ass, aesthetically. And not in the GOOD way.

    But YMMV.

    (* “One word” like some Hollywood Celebrity? Oh, come off it. One word, like “Corolla” or “Accord” or “Malibu” or “Almost Every Car With A Non-Numeric Name”?

    When the Solara became its own thing rather than the Camry Solara, was that indicative of anything other than Toyota deciding it was really its own thing because of the different body?

    No.

    Nor is this anything more, I think, than Honda realizing that the Crosstour isn’t just an Accord trim-level. It’s its own car.)

    • 0 avatar

      Which years, if any, had the word “Camry” on the Solara? I don’t think they ever officially dropped the “Camry,” as the car was always included with the Camry in the sales stats. Same for the Corolla Matrix. At least Toyota has the sense to all but ignore the borrowed, confusing part of the model name.

      • 0 avatar
        golden2husky

        I think the whole point of saying Camry Solara was so Toyota could lump the sales together…something that Ford wishes it could have done in the past with the Taurus and Sable…or GM with the Silvarado and the GMC variant…

  • avatar
    mike978

    Humorous as always. I thought the USA Today blurb OK except for the “novel crossover” part. The Crosstour is slow selling and these are minor tweaks.

  • avatar
    tallnikita

    Honda confirms that it refuses to sell cheaper DX model that may compete with both Accord and CRV at the same time. Whilst doing so, Honda added more crap to its base EX variant for mere $350 price premium, to fix the crap that wasn’t really working before:
    – auto on/off headlights, because any Honda that wants $30K for base model should have them;
    – a rearview camera, because you can’t see behind that arse
    – Bluetooth®1 HandsFreeLink®, because Huyndai Accent has it; and
    – USB audio interface, because it is, after all, 21st century (and Kia Rio has one, or about to have one)

  • avatar
    philadlj

    I’ve only seen one photo of the Crosstour that makes it look halfway decent, and it was right here at TTAC:

    http://images.thetruthaboutcars.com/2010/01/IMG_2506-525×350.jpg

    Then I went to the dealer and saw it in the flesh, and learned that photo is an optical illusion.

    • 0 avatar
      rentonben

      I’ve seen some otherwise hideous cars (Including my own Saturn ION) look great from that angle and I blame CAD.

      When you’re designing something in 3-D on a computer, you tend to use that exact angle from above – you don’t look at it from “human eye height” very much. Once the real world models are made you can see that it’s ugly but by then, it’s too late.

      [The proceeding post my me is pure conjecture. Or lies]

  • avatar
    rnc

    Everytime I see a crosstour (which is rarely) all I see is water circling drain, It’s like Honda hired the person responsible for ford’s ovaloid disaster and said “see if you can do worse”

  • avatar
    Zackman

    The Pontiac Aztek had its share of nay-sayers, but it had loads more utility than a Crosstour and didn’t pretend to be a car (maybe an SUV). I’m still trying to figure out what Honda was thinking, and wondering how they’re going to weasel out of this while saving face, if that’s possible.

    I do see these in my area, but certainly don’t ever see myself in one.

    • 0 avatar
      ihatetrees

      +1.
      The practical Aztek is a 2nd kind of cool. It has a 2nd lease on life with certain people – artists, urban types, Walter White.

      • 0 avatar
        Advo

        I can see the concept of the Aztek, and I don’t mind how it looks from the side profile. I do think that if they did a better job styling the front, then all the jokes would have gone away and it would have been seen as an SUV attempting to go after the younger crowd.

    • 0 avatar
      geozinger

      @Zackman: “I do see these in my area, but certainly don’t ever see myself in one.”

      (Channeling Darth Vader) Come to the darkside….

      We’ve had two, and outside of some typical GM issues, I would recommend them to anyone.

      • 0 avatar
        Zackman

        @geozinger: I meant the Crosstour! A neighbor not far has a very nice Aztek in red, which I admire greatly, in fact, my wife and I looked at one when they came out, so I’m a closet fan of them!

      • 0 avatar
        geozinger

        @Zackman: No worries, I was just kidding. I have a penchant for oddball cars. If my Chevy Malibu Maxx hadn’t been such a good car after the Azteks, I would say that the Azteks were a great all around car.

        I just like the shape of the Maxx for some odd reason. I have a similar affinity for Audi Avants, but I can’t afford one of those. And, you could actually count me as a fan of the Crosstour (and the Venza, too). I’m not your typical “long roof fan”, but there’s a lot to those vehicles that appeal to my left brain.

        I’m kind of looking for another Aztek, but with my second kid going into college in two weeks, I’ve got other priorities. You know how that works… ;^)

  • avatar
    cackalacka

    Baruth, it is good that your article was humorous. Every time I see a Accord Crosstour, or Crosstour, or Faeces, or whatever I’m supposed to call it now, every time I see this Honda product I wanna hit the first person I see.

  • avatar
    CJinSD

    I don’t particularly like the Crosstour, but I don’t see what makes it any worse than the BMW 535 GT, Audi A7, or Porsche Panamera. At least Crosstour buyers are more likely to be interested in the utilitarian compensation for the awkward looks, while buyers of the other awful fastbacks are buying them because they think they’re a tribute to their good taste.

    • 0 avatar
      mike978

      A fair point but the utilitarian compensation is nothing compared to a proper wagon (or even the Venza). You are a known Honda fan.

      • 0 avatar
        golden2husky

        And the Panamera looks pretty good and offers a true Porsche experience. I congratulate Honda for taking the risk, much like I did for GM with the Aztek, but the Crosstour is a stylistic flop.

  • avatar
    tankinbeans

    Since I’m not in the market for a car, nor would I need one that big, I won’t bash it. I don’t see a major problem one way or the other ditto the Venza. Now, was the Crosstour out before the previous generation Optima? Same headlights.

    It makes sense that they would ditch the Accord name as I’ve only ever heard it referred to as the Crosstour.

  • avatar

    What would Bertel have said?

    Anyway, f’n lol.

  • avatar

    I remember Motive. It featured its wholly-useless powersentence block quote article excerpts as rendered in photoshop and floated in there as a jpg (like JPNK).

    And that thing with the toy Porsche doing sweet drifts.

    Agreed on C/D > MT

  • avatar
    Conslaw

    WE HAVE A NEW WINNER!

    Google
    pontiac aztek ugly
    ×

    Advanced search
    About 130,000 results (0.17 seconds)

    —–
    Google
    honda crosstour ugly
    ×

    Advanced search
    About 179,000 results (0.17 seconds)

    • 0 avatar
      Russycle

      To be fair, one should note that the interwebs were much smaller when the Aztek infested the showrooms of America.

    • 0 avatar
      CJinSD

      Porsche Panamera ugly
      About 486,000 results (0.22 seconds)
      ———————
      Nissan Juke ugly
      About 464,000 results (0.25 seconds)

    • 0 avatar
      jplew138

      @Conslaw:

      You know what was interesting about the Aztek? In 2000-01, I briefly worked a a Pontiac salesman for a bit. I used to look at the Aztek and wonder, “Who the hell is going to buy this POS?” Well, guess what? The first vehicle I sold was…you guessed it, an Aztek. And the third. And the fourth and fifth too. Seems that everyone who went into the showroom looking for an Aztek bought one. Just goes to show…no accounting for tastes.

      • 0 avatar
        geozinger

        @jplew: Too bad you didn’t get one to drive as a demo. We had two, and liked them greatly.

      • 0 avatar
        jplew138

        @geozinger:

        Actually, they weren’t bad vehicles to drive at all, and they had far more utility than most present-day crossovers. The problem for me was that you had to look at the damn thing. Deal-breaker. Side note…I once thought that the Aztek was the ugliest vehicle I’d ever see in my life…and then Acura introduced the ZDX and proved me wrong…

      • 0 avatar
        geozinger

        @jplew: You didn’t have to look at them when you’re on the inside…

        It was one of the few vehicles I could intimidate 4×4’s with…

        Or they just wanted to see WTF that thing was that was behind them…

        LOL

      • 0 avatar
        jplew138

        @geozinger:

        LMAO…it actually did intimidate 4×4 drivers, because I sold GMCs too, and you wouldn’t believe how many of them would walk up to the Aztek and ask, “What the hell is THAT thing?”

  • avatar
    tced2

    The whole name thing is marketing driven.
    When it was introduced, using the Accord name was believed to help sales.
    Now that it doesn’t sell, prevent tarnishing the Accord name by dropping it from the Crosstour.

  • avatar

    Everyone wants an MGM Coupe over a Crosstour.

    EVERYONE.

    • 0 avatar
      patman

      After I get done converting my ’96 Mustang GT to a true hard-top, if I have room for a couple of Panthers to chop up, I’m totally making a GM Coupe.

      http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l74/patman0322/random/mercurygrandmarquiscoupe.jpg

      • 0 avatar

        Without a doubt, you are my hero. Thank you very much for everything you do, my good man!

      • 0 avatar
        Zackman

        I want to see you convert your Mustang to a PILLARLESS hardtop!

        When you chop a Panther to a coupe, you’d better make that rear window roll down, too, or I’m comin’ to git ya!

      • 0 avatar
        patman

        Ha, pillarless hardtop coupe conversion is very high on my list of projects to be completed in the indeterminate future/alternative universe in which I have time and cash to work on projects like that. If you’ve ever seen a ’95 Cobra Hardtop Convertible with the top on and all four windows down, you’ll know why someone has to do this – the transformation is incredible. For the mean time, I’ll have to settle for smaller projects in my on going daily driving and maintaining while gradually customizing project

        Conceptually, with a good coupe and a wrecked convertible, you should be able to cobble one together using most of the coupe body shell with some side structure from the ‘vert being donated for the rear windows and mechanism. I’m sure it’s not a walk in the park but most of the pieces you need to make it work are there. You could cut the roof off a coupe and attach it to a ‘vert but there’s no sense in messing up a perfectly good convertible.

        If you didn’t care about little finishing details like side windows, I bet a couple guys with a sawzall, a welder and equal parts beer and bondo could make a Panther coupe in a weekend – a pillarless HTC would be easy. Actually doing one right though would be a lot more difficult as you would need custom glass for the lengthened doors and if you wanted to make it a hardtop you’d need to customize the bits to make the window swing away correctly.

        The Grand Marquis lends itself to a coupe nicely, doesn’t it? I was surprised how easy it was to create – I thought it would probably turn out looking horrible between my lack of design skills and the car not being designed with a coupe in mind but it turned out to be a pretty straightforward photoshop exercise – add some extra door, lengthen the sail panel a bit and then clean up a few lines. I was inspired by the 2 door ’78 Grand Marquis my grandparents had when I was a kid – I wanted to see what a modern rendition would look like. I thought about adding opera lights but I don’t think it needs them.

  • avatar
    Mr. K

    ““Watch out for great deals on a Grand Marquis Coupe” — Sajeev Mehta”

    When was the last coupe panther anyway?
    Nevertheless ROTFLMAO

  • avatar
    ClutchCarGo

    Oddly enough, the wife seems to think that the Crosstour looks interesting. Perhaps the depreciation monster will chew up enough residual value to make it an option when it comes time to replace her Malibu Maxx. Obviously, she likes hatchbacks.

  • avatar
    DDayJ

    I like the AutoGuide quote, except the Crosstour mooched no success from the Accord.

  • avatar
    Advo

    The squarish nose of the Accord doesn’t go well with the sloping rear.

    I’m curious as to why the Acura ZDX looks bad while something else with couple styling like the Genesis doesn’t seem to get styling flack.

    • 0 avatar
      jplew138

      The Genesis? Ummm, I don’t know what you’ve been taking, but the Genesis sedan most certainly doesn’t look coupe-like. The Genesis coupe, on the other hand, looks like a coupe…because it is a coupe.

      And the ZDX catches flak because it’s ugly as sin. Anything that could knock the Aztek off its lofty perch as ugliest car ever…that kinda speaks for itself.

  • avatar
    Slow_Joe_Crow

    Can somebody explain just what these fugly overblown hatchbacks like the Crosstour, Venza and X6 are for? As far as I can tell you get the height, bulk, and weight of a crossover with none of the offsetting utility.

    • 0 avatar
      jplew138

      They are for people who want the ride height of an SUV, and a commanding seating position, but who think that SUVs use too much gas. Although most crossovers use just about as much gas, but I guess crossovers are a bit more politically correct these days.

    • 0 avatar
      Advo

      Because a lot of people think that a couple styling, if esthetically integrated better than the Crosstour, is more attractive than a plain sedan or a squared-off SUV.

      Looking at the photo again, I’d like Honda to try reducing the size of the square grill so that it matches the height of the headlights all the way along the front. It doesn’t have to resemble the current Accord anymore because, after all, it isn’t one anymore.

  • avatar
    Rod Panhard

    Crosstour? I remember reading about that in Sunday school one Spring.

  • avatar
    300zx_guy

    Does anyone remember that the Altima nameplate was born as “Stanza Altima”?

    • 0 avatar
      Syke

      Yep. With a really, really, really tiny ‘Stanza’ badge. I think it had something to do with Nissan failing to register the new car name with the government, or something like that, so – officially – it was a Stanza for the first year.

    • 0 avatar
      Russycle

      Did not know that, but considering your handle, it’s not surprising you do. Wonder why they did that? The Stanza was decent enough, but it hardly set the world on fire.

      • 0 avatar
        geozinger

        @Russcycle: That’s typical of the Japanese auto industry to introduce a new model by tagging an older established model’s name with the new name. Other countries’ car companies do it as well, (Cutlass Ciera?), but it seems to me the Japanese do it the most. Witness the all of the variations of Corollas for example. It’s a great way to keep the sales numbers of a particular model high.

  • avatar
    SilverHawk

    For such a marginal seller, the Crosstour gets way too much coverage on the internet. Despite that, Honda is unable to to turn the buzz into sales. Honda never admits mistakes, but maybe we can best recognize the vehicle’s place in the market by not discussing it further.

  • avatar
    UnclePete

    “Honda Crosstour Drops the Accord, Keeps the Ugly”

  • avatar
    gabbott66

    Suzanne Kane in the Family Car Guide says: “the Toyota Venza . . . offers two engines.”

    Is that true, can I get a Venza with two engines? Very cool.

  • avatar

    When you line up the quotes like this, it becames very apparent that C&D is an excellent automotive publication, head and shoulder above the regurgitators of press releases.

    P.S. I laughed at the novel quaraped. Thanks, Jack.

  • avatar
    John Horner

    We can’t have a proper Accord or Camry station wagon anymore. But, we can have these silly Crosstours and Venzas. Either the customers or the manufacturers have completely lost their minds. Which is it?

    • 0 avatar
      gottacook

      The Accord wagon (as far as I know, a U.S.-only design for its two generations) didn’t offer that much utility anyway; the rear window was too sloped. The Camry was a lot more spacious in that respect.

      What I’d really like to have seen offered in the U.S. was the Accord Aerodeck, a three-door that somewhat resembled an oversized ’84-’87 Civic in profile; saw one in the British magazine Car around 1988 (with exposed headlights, unlike the U.S. Accords of that generation). The Accord hatch that took its place in the U.S. was an excellent car, at least as a 5-speed, but the Aerodeck could easily have been built and offered here as well.

      • 0 avatar
        tallnikita

        Aerodeck – I remember that one! Saw it once on the street parked, drooling over it. It was Accord size with Civic style flat hatch, low seats, very open dashboard, very hot for the time.

      • 0 avatar
        gottacook

        I’m pretty sure the Aerodeck and the U.S. two-door hatch had identical sheetmetal (doors, etc.) from the B-pillar forward. The open-feeling interior was a function of the low cowl that was once characteristic of all Hondas and Acuras. Oh, well.

    • 0 avatar
      CRConrad

      Why the “either – or” — how about: Both?

  • avatar
    gslippy

    Awesome writing, Jack.

    As for the Crosstour, I like it better in person than in photos. But at least it has a nice personality.

  • avatar

    The information in that press release was so phenomenally dull that I would have thrown it out and written about something else.

    Or do they get paid by Honda to write that stuff as advertorial?

    If I were Honda I wouldn’t pay to publish that stuff, and if I was a magazine editor, I wouldn’t publish it unless I was paid. A lot.

    D

  • avatar
    TEXN3

    Wow, I had no clue these were so pricey. The cheapest AWD model is $35k. I could get a roomier and utilitarian, not too mention more capable, Outback 3.6R for a little less. Or any decent crossover.

  • avatar
    newfdawg

    The Crosstour looks like the answer to a question that nobody asked… it looks like a committee car that was designed to appeal to everybody and appeals to no one. During my driving in the last year or so I have seen exactly one (1) of these things. I won’t say the wheels have come off Honda, but they’re getting close.

  • avatar
    OldWingGuy

    I actually looked at one once.
    The styling really doesn’t matter that much to me.
    What was appealing was it was an AWD Accord. But what was really appealing was the interior headroom. So many trim levels come standard with a sunroof. The couple inches the sunroof eats up causes my head to rub the headliner.
    But then I looked at the price. Yeesh.
    Has anyone noticed that Honda’s prices seem ridiculous? Not just cars, but lawnmowers, snowblowers, motorcycles. Anything with a Honda label seems to be priced in the stratosphere.

  • avatar
    Dave M.

    Hideous looking:
    Crosstour
    ZDX
    X6

    Passable:
    Panamera
    Venza (in a Volvo-esque, squinty-eye way)….

  • avatar
    joe_thousandaire

    Autoblog hit Honda pretty hard with a headline that read “Honda tweaks Crosstour moniker, no longer sullies Accord’s good name”, and their partner AOL Autos published this: http://autos.aol.com/article/hondas-horrible-summer-continues/ – so its not all dead goat-blowing out there.

  • avatar

    Sniff. I’m not even worthy of satire. Harrumph!

    Speaking of beards, I have a wilder red beard than Murilee. While I’ve never been a Trotskyite, I used to have a poster with ‘ol Lev Bornstein on my wall. It wasn’t political, I just thought an icepick in the back of the head was kind of an ignoble end for the man.

  • avatar
    ponchoman49

    You mean to say that these 30-35K hideous monsters didn’t even come with auto on/off headlights, a rearview camera, Bluetooth®1 HandsFreeLink® and USB audio interface? Even a 21K Cruze I recently test drove had all that stuff and it’s an economy car that I could walk out the door with for 19,500. Honda has been rather stingy with the features of late along with Toyota as I believe the Carolla doesn’t features most of this stuff either, even on the 20K models. Now Honda just has to pull a rabbit out of the old hat and fix “ugly”.

  • avatar
    slance66

    For those with a hankering for an “Accord Wagon”, doesn’t the TSX wagon essentially render the Crosstour even more pointless than it was? Not as big, but in a good way. Much better looking. Can be had with a nice 200 HP 4 or a potent V-6. All the interior goodies were already included. Of course, it pretty much renders the equally hideous ZDX pointless as well.

    • 0 avatar
      TEXN3

      Only a 4, but the TSX is proving to be a very underrated car. 200hp is more than enough for most driving, just wish the manual was offered like on my Outback.

      • 0 avatar
        hubcap

        I’ll pass on the TSX and your right 200hp is enough *but* 300hp is better.

        Oh, and about the TSX, since when is a “sport” wagon FWD and automatic?

      • 0 avatar
        jaje

        As a former owner of a 2004 TSX with 6 speed manual. Yes the motor was simply adequate (as brilliant as the 2.4 i-vtec was) but the car weighed at least 3,300 lb car with FWD it was simply too slow in a straight line – loses battles from stoplight acceleration with today’s minivans and suvs.

      • 0 avatar
        Ubermensch

        Not to mention the sparce dealer network for Acura. The nearest dealer to me is over 100 miles away.

  • avatar
    MLB

    It seems that Subaru started all of this sort of thing with the original little 4×4 wagons and coupes all those years ago.

    For a long time they were the only cars you could get with it – other than Jeeps – and it has always been one of their main selling points.

    And then Audi upped the ante with the successful Quattro series, and the next thing you know, everybody has 4×4 and has an extra 500 pounds of unnecessary machinery to haul around.

    With all of the sophisticated traction control now mandatory on all cars, the on-road-only all wheel drive really isn’t necessary anymore for most drivers from a safety standpoint, but it is still a must-have-item for many, in the way that white wall tires used to be.

    But ‘the customer is always right’, and so Honda tries to make a butch-type Accord with a litle bit of everything thrown into the mix, and at first they sell enough of them to at least not be an embarrassment.

    But it also seems like companies are over-estimating the projected sales figures for new and unorthodox cars these days, and so after a couple of years, everybody who wants one has one, and then the pre-owned end of the market kicks in, and that starts to eat into new car sales, and right away the numbers start to taper off.

    With the ever greater demands to up the mileage ratings across the board, the manufacturers must now find a new medium between perceived strength and less mass in order to meet the goals, and so the trend towards cars like the Crosstour and the new Range Rover Evoque will continue until some more efficent center is found for the SUV segment overall.

    And another thing is, there are just too many car models on the market, and too many choices, and buyers have become so fickle for something like this that they will painlessly trade in an ‘old’ one for something else that has better cup holders or mood lighting of the instruments or something,

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