And The Real Winner Is…

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin

The Index of Effluency, given to the team that accomplishes the most with the most terrible “race car,” is considered the true top trophy in 24 Hours of LeMons racing. This time, the long-suffering Property Devaluation team finally piloted their oft-repaired Fairmont wagon to a glorious 22nd-place finish.

We’ve seen this terrible Fox Ford at many Houston and New Orleans races, and the team has spent most of its time swapping and/or rebuilding junkyard-sourced Ford Windsors. Blown head gaskets, spun bearings, thrown rods, the whole spectrum of 302 woes have dogged these exhausted Texans for years. This time, however, the engine held together and the wagon ran for 24 (actually 19, thanks to an early-morning fog delay) straight hours. Congratulations, Property Devaluation!

Murilee Martin
Murilee Martin

Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Autoblog, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars and Capital One.

More by Murilee Martin

Join the conversation
4 of 6 comments
  • LTDScott LTDScott on Nov 21, 2010

    Four door and four eyed Foxes FTW.

  • Sajeev Mehta Sajeev Mehta on Nov 22, 2010

    Man, I just love seeing Murilee's LeMons updates on TTAC...

    And FWIW, team Property Devaluation is run by one of the coolest dudes on the planet. While I may be saying that because he speaks the same Fox language as myself, there's no doubt they deserve this victory.

    I'm glad they finally figured out why they were blowing windsor V8s all the time, now that the motor is sorted, they are gonna be a forced to be reckoned with. This is my prediction.

  • DeadFlorist DeadFlorist on Nov 22, 2010

    My dear mother had a '79 Zephyr sedan in fecal brown, with light brown vinyl benches. The frequent overheating was because it was shipped from the factory with the wrong radiator. When mom would drive me to school, it would stall at the top of the same hill on a left turn onto a busy street, every morning without fail, leaving mom cranking it over while blocking two traffic lanes. The daily stall was the only thing it did reliably. It was the ugliest vehicle ever made, one of those exercises in right angles that results when a kindergartner draws a car. I wish I had it back.

  • Bill McCallon Bill McCallon on Nov 23, 2010

    My family had a 1982 Ford Granada wagon *only year it was a Granada* with the 232 CI V6. That was my first car and when it was running, it ran like a champ. Much like every one else who has owned one, boy do I miss it. I am very very happy to see that people are still running these cars! Well Done Team Property Devaluation!!!!!