Chrysler Suicide Watch

Chrysler Suicide Watch 50: RIP

By Paul Niedermeyer
April 30, 2009

Chrysler's logo should have been a bottle of Lithium, rather than the Pentastar. It suffered from severe Bipolar syndrome all its life, and sadly, died from it, at its own hands. Like many suicidal Bipolars (Van Gogh, Hemingway, Virgina Woolf), Chrysler's many crashes and acts of self-mutilation were punctuated by fantastic highs of brilliant engineering, design and creativity. Chrysler has taken us on quite the roller coaster ride. And now it's over. as we stumble out of our (hemi powered) coaster car, we're left with an intense mixture of relief, thrill, and sadness.

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Chrysler Zombie Watch 1: Fiatsco!

By Robert Farago
April 30, 2009

Well, the fat lady done sung. Only it was a thin president who ended TTAC's Chrysler Suicide Watch. Lucky for us (if no one else), the Prez also promised to keep the dead automaker alive, through a fresh injection of federal funds. Obama didn't specify the price tag for this zombification, but the bidding starts with the familiar "b" word, and octo-mom would recognize the number. As you know, Obama justified his ongoing intervention in Chrysler's journey to liquidation by pimping the un-dead (now dead) American automaker to Italy's own automotive English patient. So it's time to get on with the business of tearing the Fiat "merger" idea to shreds. In this unenviable (but gainful) task, I'm aided by Jennifer Clark of the Dow Jones News Service. Jenny's Chrysler-on-the-block piece arrives under the odd title "Chrysler Chapter 11 Filing May Aid Fiat Turnaround." Go figure.

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Chrysler Suicide Watch 49: Official Statement

By Robert Farago
April 30, 2009

Auburn Hills, Mich., Apr 30, 2009 - Chrysler LLC today announced that, as a result of the comprehensive restructuring plan agreed to by many of its stakeholders, it has reached an agreement in principle to establish a global strategic alliance with Fiat SpA to form a vibrant new company. It will allow Chrysler and Fiat to fully optimize their respective manufacturing footprints and the global supplier base, while providing each with access to additional markets. Fiat powertrains and components will also be produced at Chrysler manufacturing sites.

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Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 48: Die Another Day

By Robert Farago
April 29, 2009

Barack Obama is set to addresses the nation tomorrow, announcing Chrysler's death and rebirth. The president will frame the government's intervention in familiar terms: hope and change. Only in the reverse order: change and hope. Obama will say that the federal government is helping Chrysler transform into a viable American automaker. This we (yes we) are doing because President Obama has hope for the future of the American automaker and, not-so-incidentally, American automaking. Chrysler, the United Auto Workers (UAW) and Fiat will now build the kind of economical, environmentally friendly vehicles America needs. Unfortunately, Obama's "plan" is the exact opposite of what it pretends to be.

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Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 47: Chrysler Financial Flames Out

By Robert Farago
April 28, 2009

GMAC is a bank. It used to be a lender, to both the car and mortgage industries. And not a particularly good one. Or maybe too good. Or just right, if you were a sub-prime borrower looking for quick cash. GM owned all of GMAC, which was a cash cow. Right until it wasn't. Just before the now-infamous sub-prime meltdown, GM was trying to cover-up its cash burn. So CEO Rick Wagoner sold a controlling share in GMAC to Cerberus, the same people who bought Chrysler. Flash forward to the waning hours of 2008. GMAC was about to fall into bankruptcy, dragging down Cerberus, Chrysler, GM and that funny-looking guy who used to be your landlord. So Uncle Sam stepped in---and how. The Fed relaxed its banking rules so that GMAC could become a bank, and, thus, hoover-up $6b worth of bailout bucks. After that, there's some stuff about ending leasing, not lending money to car buyers, driving Chrysler and GM dealerships into C11, lending money to car buyers, etc. Up to speed? OK. So here's the New Deal. . .

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Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 46: Private Capital vs. Uncle Sam

By Robert Farago
April 22, 2009

Chrysler bondholders have officially rejected the Presidential Task Force of Automobiles' (PTFOA) "offer" to exchange 85 percent of their secured debt ($6.9b) for a stake in a reconstituted ChyrCo. The Wall Street Journal reports the bondholders' counteroffer: the lenders would cut Chrysler's first-lien debt by $2.4b, in exchange for a 40 percent equity stake and a Chrysler board seat. Oh, and they want Fiat to put up a billion dollars. Which Fiat won't do because. . . it doesn't have it. The bondholders' position sounds about right. Remember: this is secured debt. If/when Chrysler is sold off in pieces, the bondholders would recoup about 65 cents on a dollar. Settling for anything less would be against their financial interest. But not their political interest. Not only has the U.S. Treasury rejected the bondholder's proposal, they've cast aspersions on the banks' patriotism. No really.

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Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 45: By Executive Fiat

By Robert Farago
April 17, 2009

C'mon. This whole Fiat and Chrysler hook-up is a joke, right? I mean, what could possibly motivate an Italian car company that got its ass kicked seven ways to Sunday in the US market for peddling sorry-ass rust buckets and [almost] providing some of the worst dealer service in the history of four-wheeled transportation to re-enter the fray under the Chrysler banner? That's like Kodak teaming-up with Polaroid to make high end digital cameras for the Japanese. Like Cambridge's instant photo folk, ChryCo's business model is so busted all they've got left is an iconic brand name (Jeep). And there are still plenty of Americans who know that Fiat stands for "Fix It Again Tony." So what's it all about Alfetta?

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Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 44: Will the Last One Out of the Building…

By Robert Farago
April 4, 2009

A TTAC reader writes: "Did you read the Wards Auto World article about how full Chrysler's product pipeline is? So inaccurate. I had to throw away the magazine because of it. As a former product planner for Chrysler up until April of last year (on the Jeep WK), I can tell you the state of the business that I knew.

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Chrysler Suicide Watch 43: Reality Check on the Fiat Deal

By Justin Berkowitz
January 26, 2009

According to Automotive News, Chrysler plans to sell up to seven Fiat/Alfa Romeo-designed models in America. Under this scheme, Chrysler dealers would flog the Fiat 500, Alfa MiTo, and Alfa 147 replacement. There'll also be up to four Fiat-based cars in the A, B, C, and D segments. Some American car fans are thrilled at the idea of inexpensive, fuel efficient, fun-to-drive Italian cars -- even if the machines in question end up as Dodges built in Mexico to Italian blueprints. But that's exactly what it is: an idea. And a bad one at that.

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Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 42: La Grande Bugia

By Robert Farago
January 20, 2009 Breaking news: Fiat has just signed a "non-binding term sheet" with ChryCo. The Italian automaker will acquire a 35 percent interest in Chrysler for... nothing. No cash. No assets. Niente. And yet the Chrysler - Fiat deal comes complete with the United Auto Workers' (UAW) blessing. It's a nice thought: a global alliance to pull Chrysler's fat from the fire, save the taxpayer's bacon and uncook the UAW's golden goose. But there's zero chance of Fiat riding to the rescue of Chrysler. It's just another part of Chrysler's Big Lie.

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