Hardscrabble Car Salesman Wins Defamation Trial

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems

Sometimes the little guy wins.

Elon Musk, founder of a rocket ship company and CEO of a rising automobile company/cult, left a federal courtroom on Friday more emboldened than ever to say whatever he wants. A unanimous verdict handed down by the jury declared that calling an unknown British diver “pedo guy” on Twitter did not constitute defamation, thus allowing Musk, who has 30 million followers on the social media platform, to sidestep $190 million in damages.

“My faith in humanity is restored,” said Musk, who also called diver Vernon Unsworth a “child rapist” with no corroborating evidence in an email to a Buzzfeed reporter, upon leaving the courthouse.

Musk’s defence team, headed up by attorney Alex Spiro, argued successfully that their client was merely lashing out in anger at a man who helped orchestrate the successful rescue of a trapped children’s soccer team from a flooded Thai cave. Calling someone you’ve never met “pedo guy” on a public stage was just a meaningless slur, they claimed, rather than an accusation.

The jury agreed that Musk, who uttered the slur after Unsworth told him to stick his home-built submarine — deemed wholly insufficient for the task of rescuing the kids — up his own ass, did not deserve to face punishment for his actions.

Unsworth’s attorney, L. Lin Wood, called Musk a “billionaire bully” in his closing statement, claiming the tech guru “dropped a nuclear bomb” on his client. During this week’s legal process, Musk apologised to Unsworth and stated that he did not believe the man, whom he hired a grifter ex-con to dig up dirt on, was a pedophile.

In return, Spiro claimed Unsworth was not damaged by the accusations, adding, “You wanna award damages? How about one dollar?”

“This verdict puts everyone’s reputation at risk,” Wood later told reporters.

“I accept the jury’s verdict, take it on the chin and get on with my life,” Unsworth commented after court adjourned. “It’s not the verdict we wanted. But it’s the end of the road and we now close this chapter.”

It’s quite possible the jury realized this trial-by-Twitter would indeed set a precedent, preferring, in the end, to ensure that accusations of defamation on social media must require a greater degree of scrutiny.

Confident in their hero’s unsullied purity, Musk’s disciples followers then spent the rest of their Friday harassing Ford spokesman Mike Levine on Twitter.

[Sources: CNBC, Reuters] [Image: Tesla]

Steph Willems
Steph Willems

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  • ToddAtlasF1 ToddAtlasF1 on Dec 09, 2019

    “My faith in humanity is restored,” said Musk, who also called diver Vernon Unsworth a “child rapist” with no corroborating evidence in an email to a Buzzfeed reporter, upon leaving the courthouse. Musk will take care of himself at some point, unless one of his cars does.

  • BeerMe45 BeerMe45 on Dec 15, 2019

    Your new "Read all Comments" button will stop me from idly scrolling down. Now I have to make a choice. I'm trying to be entertained, and you are making me work. So far, I've clicked the button 50% of the time. So if you are going for more metrics on comments you can take heart in knowing people USED to read the comments more before the button appeared. FYI the End of Comments link is now broken. Clicking it before all the comments are loaded makes the browser reset to top of page.

  • Mike-NB2 This is a mostly uninformed vote, but I'll go with the Mazda 3 too.I haven't driven a new Civic, so I can't say anything about it, but two weeks ago I had a 2023 Corolla as a rental. While I can understand why so many people buy these, I was surprised at how bad the CVT is. Many rentals I've driven have a CVT and while I know it has one and can tell, they aren't usually too bad. I'd never own a car with a CVT, but I can live with one as a rental. But the Corolla's CVT was terrible. It was like it screamed "CVT!" the whole time. On the highway with cruise control on, I could feel it adjusting to track the set speed. Passing on the highway (two-lane) was risky. The engine isn't under-powered, but the CVT makes it seem that way.A minor complaint is about the steering. It's waaaay over-assisted. At low speeds, it's like a 70s LTD with one-finger effort. Maybe that's deliberate though, given the Corolla's demographic.
  • Mike-NB2 2019 Ranger - 30,000 miles / 50,000 km. Nothing but oil changes. Original tires are being replaced a week from Wednesday. (Not all that mileage is on the original A/S tires. I put dedicated winter rims/tires on it every winter.)2024 - Golf R - 1700 miles / 2800 km. Not really broken in yet. Nothing but gas in the tank.
  • SaulTigh I've got a 2014 F150 with 87K on the clock and have spent exactly $4,180.77 in maintenance and repairs in that time. That's pretty hard to beat.Hard to say on my 2019 Mercedes, because I prepaid for three years of service (B,A,B) and am getting the last of those at the end of the month. Did just drop $1,700 on new Michelins for it at Tire Rack. Tires for the F150 late last year were under $700, so I'd say the Benz is roughly 2 to 3 times as pricy for anything over the Ford.I have the F150 serviced at a large independent shop, the Benz at the dealership.
  • Bike Rather have a union negotiating my pay rises with inflation at the moment.
  • Bike Poor Redapple won't be sitting down for a while after opening that can of Whiparse
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