Piston Slap: Upgrading The Fleet?
Anonymous writes:
I have a question about fleet replacements. Currently, we have a vehicle fleet that includes:
- 2010 Ford Explorer, 103k miles
- 2006 Ford Crown Vic, 78k miles
- 2006 Buick Lucerne, 82k miles
- 2005 Chevy Impala, 76k miles
- 2014 Ford Explorer, 40k miles
- 2009 Dodge Grand Caravan, 65k miles
- 2008 – Ford Crown Vic, 70k miles
- 2011 Chevy Impala, 18k miles
- 2014 Jeep Patriot, 28k miles
- 2014 Jeep Patriot, 18k miles
- 2014 Jeep Patriot, 23k miles
- 2011 Chevy Impala, 46k miles
- 2007 Dodge Caravan, 123k miles
- 2012 Chevy Impala, 24k miles
- 2012 Chevy Impala, 22k miles
Our budget only allows to replace nine vehicles with a 2014 equivalent version of each.
What would you decide to keep and replace? What guidelines would you consider?
Personally, I believe that Bluetooth should be a required feature now on all cars especially ones that have employees driving them. I want to use it as the first requirement and then move on to mileage and year — but what say you? What criteria would you use to decide order of replacement?
Sajeev answers:
Son, let’s first address the perimeter-framed elephant in the room.
I’m dumbfounded at your lack of Panther Love: sell the riff-raff to get seven more 2011 Crown Vics!
Seriously though, Bluetooth isn’t tough to add. New units are cheap and older stereos with CD-changer inputs are covered. Let’s stick with the mechanical/electrical bits that keep a fleet running, earning their masters that sweet, sweet federal green.
Assuming you’re a stereotypical fleet owner that partakes in religious vehicle maintenance, here’s my take:
- 2010 Ford Explorer, SELL: Do you need a body-on-frame truck? Sell, especially before gas prices go up.
- 2006 Ford Crown Vic, KEEP: Put this in a museum, preserving its instant classic status.
- 2006 Buick Lucerne, SELL: Sell immediately if it’s a Northstar, even if it’s the improved version. Sell it if it has a 3.8L. It’s no fleet-sweet W-body.
- 2005 Chevy Impala, KEEP: Somewhat low miles, cheap, easy to keep running, and heavily depreciated. Keep it until it dies.
- 2014 Ford Explorer, KEEP: Or sell? You’ll buy a lot of Panthers with the proceeds. Just kidding. Probably.
- 2009 Dodge Grand Caravan, SELL: I’d keep it, but a newer Caravan with lower miles sounds appealing if this needs even modest repairs.
- 2008 Ford Crown Vic, KEEP: Seriously, how is this even a question?
- 2011 Chevy Impala, KEEP: Low-mile W-bodies are a balance sheet’s best friend.
- 2014 Jeep Patriot, KEEP: Concerned about long-term durability of the CVT gearboxes, but it’s new and valuable.
- 2014 Jeep Patriot, KEEP: But do you know how many Panthers you could buy?
- 2014 Jeep Patriot, KEEP: Or how many W-bodies?!?!
- 2011 Chevy Impala, KEEP: No need to sell a well-maintained W-body.
- 2007 Dodge Caravan, SELL: At some point a newer one needs less work, but it’s cheap considering depreciation.
- 2012 Chevy Impala, KEEP: Again, W-bodies are great fleet machines.
- 2012 Chevy Impala, KEEP: See above comment about cheap Bluetooth upgrades.
Sorry, I can only (hypothetically) sell four from the fleet. Maybe you could unload more of the older units if your fleet exists in the rust belt … but never sell the Panthers.
What are your thoughts, Best and Brightest?
[Image: Shutterstock user Sergey Kelin]
More by Sajeev Mehta
Latest Car Reviews
Read moreLatest Product Reviews
Read moreRecent Comments
- Daniel J Cx-5 lol. It's why we have one. I love hybrids but the engine in the RAV4 is just loud and obnoxious when it fires up.
- Oberkanone CX-5 diesel.
- Oberkanone Autonomous cars are afraid of us.
- Theflyersfan I always thought this gen XC90 could be compared to Mercedes' first-gen M-class. Everyone in every suburban family in every moderate-upper-class neighborhood got one and they were both a dumpster fire of quality. It's looking like Volvo finally worked out the quality issues, but that was a bad launch. And now I shall sound like every car site commenter over the last 25 years and say that Volvo all but killed their excellent line of wagons and replaced them with unreliable, overweight wagons on stilts just so some "I'll be famous on TikTok someday" mom won't be seen in a wagon or minivan dropping the rug rats off at school.
- Theflyersfan For the stop-and-go slog when sitting on something like The 405 or The Capital Beltway, sure. It's slow and there's time to react if something goes wrong. 85 mph in Texas with lane restriping and construction coming up? Not a chance. Radar cruise control is already glitchy enough with uneven distances, lane keeping assist is so hyperactive that it's turned off, and auto-braking's sole purpose is to launch loose objects in the car forward. Put them together and what could go wrong???
Comments
Join the conversation
I think in order to properly answer the question we really need to know the mission of the fleet. If the mission is simply longevity I would do something to this effect: Keep 3800 Lucerne Keep all 60V6 W-bodies. Keep one or both Panthers Keep 2010 Expy Keep one or both vans. Sell all Jeeps. Sell MY14 Expy. Why? -The keeper vehicles will not fetch as much as the Jeeps and new Expy. -The sell vehicles are not durable and I don't think they will fare well in long term fleet use. -The vans despite known Chrysler Kwality and transaxle issues are useful to move large or bulky cargo. The MY10 Explorer as well. Jeep Patriot cargo capacity is much less than these. -Ford supposedly exiled the Exploder out of Explorer by the final refresh. The current Explorer has been exploding in police use in my city. -I would probably only keep the better of the two Panthers, although if your climate permits perhaps keep both and drop the lesser of the Ws. -The Lucerne serves as the foreman/manager's car, and 3800 will grant believers eternal torque.
Alhambra CA it is: http://www.truckinginfo.com/blog/fleetspeak/print/story/2015/01/wondries-fleet-on-stocking-1500-crown-vics.aspx