2016 Ram 1500 Rebel Review - Subtle, Like a Frying Pan to the Face

Matthew Guy
by Matthew Guy
Fast Facts

2016 Ram 1500 Rebel

5.7-litre V8 (395 horsepower @ 5,600 rpm, 410 lb-ft @ 3,950 rpm
Eight-speed automatic transmission w/selectable four-wheel drive
Fuel economy (rated, MPG): 15 city / 21 highway / 17 combined
Fuel economy (observed, MPG):
Base Price: $46,395 (U.S.) / $56,290 (Canada)
As Tested: $56,195 (U.S.) / $67,700 (Canada)
All U.S. prices include a $1,195 destination fee. All Canadian prices include $1,895 freight and A/C tax. No rebates are applied to these prices.

FCA, and Ram in particular, is not exactly known for its subtlety. Witness the Rebel TRX Concept unveiled at the State Fair of Texas, yet another salvo in the continuing effort by the mad scientists in Auburn Hills to Hellcat all the things.

This pleased me greatly, as my own outspoken personality gives the thumbs-up to any machine exhibiting the raw utility of a woodsman’s axe. A hint of smoky-burnout lairiness and jump-the-creek attitude doesn’t hurt either. The Ram 1500 Rebel, decked out with 33-inch Toyos and a handlebar moustache grille, has more than enough lead in its pencil to make Crocodile Dundee look like Liberace. It comes standard with a case of fireworks and is equipped with a beard in the glovebox.

Okay, not really. But it could. The 2016 Ram 1500 Rebel shown here is not a Texas exclusive — that honor is bestowed upon Ram’s Lone Star Silver trim — but it easily fits in with the other urban cowboys headed to their ranches, cattle auctions, and downtown Dallas offices. The Rebel often appears in FCA literature slathered with Flame Red Clear Coat but the Bright White Clear Coat on this tester looks far superior in this author’s jaundiced eye. Real trucks need presence, and a gleaming white Ram Rebel with contrasting black trim commands attention. Compliments were hurled in the Rebel’s general direction from random passersby and parking attendants alike. This is not a truck for introverts.

Not everyone loved the polarizing grille but it did a good job of parting the sea on the construction-ridden I-35E around Dallas. The trick was to load their rearview mirrors with a full five yards of chrome Ram badging, flanked as it is by bright LED lights and flaring hood nostrils, and watch them give way. The bark of Ram’s 5.7-liter Hemi V8 didn’t hurt either.

The Hemi is non-negotiable in my opinion. That this brashly styled, aggressively treaded with 285/70/17 Toyo Open Country meats is even offered with a V6 is borderline unpatriotic and an affront to the American flag. All right, maybe that’s taking it to the extreme, but I do think the $1,150 Hemi, with its brawny rumble and prodigious towing capacity, fits the personality of this machine to a T. Its city EPA rating of 15 miles per gallon might cause heart palpitations, but equipped with a bladder-busting 32-gallon fuel tank, range shouldn’t be a problem.

I continue to be enraged that any manufacturer has the gall to charge $280 for an integrated trailer brake controller on a vehicle capable of towing in excess of 10,000 pounds. Ram is not alone in this nickel-and-diming frippery; other manufacturers do it too. While I’m riled up and frothing, I will point out here that Ram will happily charge buyers $95 to “upgrade” their Rebel with a 3.21 rear-end gear, an option undoubtedly pressed into service by oblivious focus groups in an effort to reduce the number of revs being turned by the Hemi at highway speeds and marginally increase fuel economy. The higher (numerically lower) gear will achieve these goals at the expense of towing capability which, with the 3.21’s, is reduced to a comparatively featherweight 8,000 lbs. Do not choose this option; stick with the standard 3.91 gear ratio. The trade-off in reduced towing capacity is simply not worth it. If you want fuel economy, buy a Prius.

Other gripes? This iteration of the Ram 1500 was introduced as a 2009 model at the 2008 North American Auto Show in Detroit, when private investment company Cerberus Capital Management still ran the joint and bankruptcy was seventeen months hence. In terms of the automotive industry, that was a lifetime ago, and flashes of age show through in the Ram despite its revision in 2013. The tailgate doesn’t have a dampening feature for example, slamming open with the grace of my grandfather’s 1986 GMC while owners of the new F-150 access their payload with the push of a keyfob button.

Make no mistake, though — Ram has done its job in keeping the 1500 competitive, issuing a myriad of iterations and trim packages, not to mention the integration of Chrysler’s uConnect, one of the better infotainment systems to currently grace a half-ton truck. The navigation system reads instructions with crystal clarity, repeating instructions on demand and displaying large visual indicators for upcoming turns in the 7-inch screen placed dead in front of the driver, between the tach and speedometer. The optional $345 Alpine stereo system does a great job of playing Sirius Prime Country though nine-speakers and a subwoofer.

The RamBox system remains distinct from its competitors, yet has a lot of value for its intended customer. Hailing from a place in the world where moose handily outnumber all other forms of wild game, I understand that safely hauling around guns and ammo is a tricky matter. I can’t say I’ve even been in a clapped-out Sunfire with shotgun shells rolling around on the floor. No, sir. Never. With the Ram, its storage solution mounted in the sides of the bed are an ideal spot for rifles and cartridges (all properly stored, natch).

Years after its introduction, I’m still not sold on the crease created on the side of the box by these compartments, but they are weather-sealed and lock securely via the central locking system. From previous experience — not with this Ram, it must be said — I know that a trio of two-fours of beer easily fits in each RamBox, and that’s with a good amount of ice packed in there to keep them cold. Space for your guns and tools aside, that fact alone is worth the $1,295 price of admission.

Our tester was equipped with Ram’s trick air suspension, standard on the Rebel, which levels out the truck when burdened with a heavy payload or lowers the truck for better fuel efficiency at highway speeds. My favourite part? Punch the suspension button (and you had better punch it, for this is not a truck in which to “touch” or “depress” buttons) and the whole party gets jacked up like Charlie Sheen on a bender, affording additional off-road clearance and making its stance even more aggro. The glovebox was devoid of an owner’s manual and I can only assume it’s because FCA instead carves it into your face with a hunting knife.

A vast 40.3 inches of legroom in the back seat and 125.3 cubic feet of total interior volume ensure the driver and four of their closest spur-wearing friends can relax in all-day comfort. Ample toe room under the front seats allow rear-seat riders to stretch their boots while the tire-tread patterns integrated into the seat fabric reminds everyone of the Rebel’s off-road intentions.

The ride on pavement is surprisingly cushy, thanks to the aforementioned air suspension and Bilstein shocks controlling the movement of Rebel’s fat sidewalled Toyos inflated to a sky-high 55 psi in the front and 45 psi in the rear. Those are the factory recommendations.

At the State Fair of Texas, I chatted with Dave Elshoff, head of Ram Truck media, about the depth of product offering currently on tap for customers of the Ram 1500. There are, count ‘em, eleven different models of Ram 1500. He explained the strategy of having vastly different trucks based upon similar architecture makes for broad appeal, and I think he’s right.

Attentive readers will know I own a six-year old Hemi-powered Ram 1500 Sport, holding special appeal to me with its monochrome paint scheme and let-them-eat-cake leather bucket seats. Others, including Dave himself, prefer their Ram to blind its enemies with acres of chrome while seating six people on two cloth benches. Two trucks from the same manufacturer, costing about the same, couldn’t look more different. I think that’s Ram’s current M.O: keep the diehards coming back with for new iterations while, at this late stage of its product cycle, win a few conquests who are leery of Ford’s jump to aluminium or don’t like all the LED mascara currently applied to the GM twins.

Me? My own Ram, burdened as it is with its prehistoric infotainment (to wit: “Call Home”… “Calling four-two-six-three-star. Is this correct?”… *pounds fist on vehicle wheel*) will continue to live in my care until I see the styling of the next generation Ram, likely to be shown at the North American Auto Show in January.

Unlike many owners, I actually use my truck’s capability, regularly hauling 9,000 lb of crosswind-susceptible travel trailer, so I’ll be keeping a close eye on the specs. In the here and now, the 2016 Ram 1500 Rebel holds a lot of appeal. It is equally rich in content and capability and its testosterone-soaked styling will please the extroverts among us.

On the outskirts of Dallas, I noticed roadside billboards for strip clubs making the lewd joke that “Unlicensed Therapists” were on duty. Foolishness. A few days rolling through city streets or jumping dirt in a Ram 1500 Rebel is all the therapy needed to brush the cobwebs from one’s head. Just don’t expect the Rebel to be subtle about it.

Selling Points: Wonderfully brash style, shockingly comfortable ride, very capable hauler.

Deal Breakers: Showing its age in a few areas, some optional features should be standard equipment.

The Bottom Line: Everyone will find it bold but not all will find it beautiful.

FCA provided the vehicle, insurance, and fuel for this review.





Matthew Guy
Matthew Guy

Matthew buys, sells, fixes, & races cars. As a human index of auto & auction knowledge, he is fond of making money and offering loud opinions.

More by Matthew Guy

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  • A4kev A4kev on Oct 16, 2016

    Pb35 you're an evil dude ! These RAMS are serious machines.Recently drove a 2500 with a Cummins and I've got to admit that's a well sorted out machine.I've owned F150's and they're good vehicles especially with a 5.0L but Dodge are making a good truck these days made in N.A.not something to be discounted these days.

  • Dukeisduke Dukeisduke on Oct 17, 2016

    That lede photo is from a truly weird angle - I've driven by Southfork a zillion times (I live less than ten minutes away), and I've been there several times, for company picnics, parties, etc., and that arch is definitely not overgrown with live oaks. A bit of trivia: a couple of years ago, when Hogge Road, which goes past Southfork, was being widened from a two-lane blacktop to a six-lane divided concrete road, new brick bases and wing walls for the entrances and gates were built set further back, and the steel and wrought arch was taken down off the olds ones, and then set on the new ones.

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