By on March 1, 2013

 

Watch out! Wired unearthed plans by al-Qaida to turn your, yes YOUR car into firebombs, and if that doesn’t work, create vehicular disruption with massive oil slicks by way of “lubricative oil” applied to America’s highways. Says so in a PDF document called “Opel Source Jihad.” (No link, because THIS ONE definitely is NSFW. If nudie pics get you fired where you work, accessing that one will get you waterboarded. Anyway, the link is on Wired, and we did warn you.)

Wired thinks this is part of the general race to the bottom:

“Once again, Open Source Jihad is lowering its standards. Earlier issues of Inspire‘s “Jihad Kitchen” gave Anarchist Cookbook-style tips about cooking up explosives and instructions on blowing up apartment buildings. Its last foray into vehicular assaults involved tricking out the grille of an F-150 with knives to create an “ultimate mowing machine.” (Even Osama bin Laden rolled his eyes at that one.)”

Come to think of it: An awful lot of cars burn each day. Maybe, Wired is taking this too lightly.

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14 Comments on “Threatcon Delta: al-Qaida Wants To Kill And Maim With Your Car, Yes, Yours...”


  • avatar
    gslippy

    If they don’t have plans to make a lithium ion bomb, then I guess the EV market is safe.

    Wait, Fisker’s already done that.

  • avatar
    CoreyDL

    That old 240 didn’t deserve that fate!

  • avatar
    LuciferV8

    Ferrari jokes in 3..2…1…

  • avatar
    mkirk

    Where’s VoltsOnFire?

  • avatar
    thelaine

    Those AQ guys are not stupid. I tried the non-lubricative oil in my last car and boy was THAT a mistake.

    If they want to make those F-150 modifications, they should get Mr. T. He got the A-Team out of all kinds of tight spots doing stuff like that.

  • avatar
    schmitt trigger

    Those are the types of threats for McGyver…..

  • avatar
    Aqua225

    It’s gotta be said: “Opel Source Jihad” sounds like a Al-Whitacre Jihad against closing Opel plants.

    Hehe

  • avatar
    cargogh

    The Ford Granada really does look like a Mercedes–after it is burned to a crisp.

  • avatar
    -Nate

    What kinda jerk wants to flame out an classic Mercedes Euro. Spec. W-116 ? . It’s not a 240D .

    There’s not many of these left , what a shame .

    -Nate

    • 0 avatar

      That’s definitely a W116. But when rusted down you won’t buy or keep them.

      • 0 avatar
        -Nate

        Me , I’d never buy an S Klasse Mercedes , I’m hooked on the W-123 chassis .

        I have many friends who think the W-116 chassis is the end all be all vehicle though and being a (damn) Yankee born & raised , I intensly dislike waste of any sort .

        -Nate

  • avatar
    ZoomZoom

    I really wish I could find humor in this. And it WOULD be funny…except that it’s Al Qaida we’re talking about.

    Some people laughed at their first attempts to perpetrate mass-terrorism in the US. But they are persistent and patient and they will keep trying stupid things again and again. And one day, because we’ve been laughing and not watching or listening, one of those stupid things will work. And we will shed tears AGAIN for our loved ones lost, children, wives, sisters, brothers gone.

    If we keep making “funny haha” at Al Qaida, then we haven’t learned anything and it’s only a matter of time until they succeed with their “next big one”.

    Sorry to be a downer on this one, but I don’t want to bury more of my country’s brothers, sisters, or children in my lifetime.

    • 0 avatar
      thelaine

      Agreed Zoom. They and the similarly inclined are dangerous fanatics and enemies of every civilized person on the planet. However, ridicule is a weapon. Check out “The Great Dictator” with Charlie Chaplin. It is basically a comedy about Adolf Hitler made prior to US entry into WW2, when Hitler’s evil was obvious.

      Whatever our divisions, I think the country is as united as it ever gets on anything when it comes to these freaks.


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