There is no better way to ruin a car than by putting a spoiler on it. Don’t believe me? Picture any mainstream road car with and without a wing. Which one looks better? I think the answer looks obvious.
The Jaguar XFR-S is the latest, and perhaps most egregious offender. I think every car in the Jaguar lineup right now is beautiful. The XF’s design, despite being almost five years old (an eternity in the luxury car world) looks as fresh as it did upon its debut. But Jaguar somehow decided to go put the most pathetic looking spoiler in the history of JC Whitney catalogs.
The wing on the XKR-S looks even worse – the normal XKR is even more attractive than the Aston Martin V8 Vantage, but the XKR-S, with its blue paint, black wheels and silly spoiler, is 17 year old Derek’s idea of what a Hustler Centerfold would be attracted to; a luxury car that looks like a tuner car and sounds like a Mustang. Nowadays, I’d be mortally embarassed if I had to take a lady to dinner in a Gatorade blue car with a spoiler, no matter how fast or expensive it is (well, that arguably makes things worse in a way).
My hatred of spoilers isn’t confined to fast Jags. Got a Mitsubishi Evo? Chuck the wing. A Mustang 5.0? Delete it too. The last-generation Toyota Supra? Sans basket handle, please. There are three cars that look good with a spoiler. The Ferrari F40 and Acura NSX were designed to have them from the start. The Porsche 911 GT3 RS is so bloody obnoxious that the spoiler is a necessity. Note that hatchbacks are exempt from my fatwa. A hatch spoiler on a GTI makes it look more butch than a standard golf.
Dissenting opinions are welcome as always. But if I somehow find myself with a Pontiac G8 GXP, I hope there’s a V6 owner willing to swap trunklids.