By on April 6, 2012

The outrageous indifference, mixed with distate enthusiasm shown by TTACers for our Chicago Auto Show Video led us to think that it would be a good idea to do one for the New York Auto Show. Unfortunately, Vodka McBigbra’s dental emergency forced me to bounce out of the show halfway through. The video crew was left with an absolute mishmash of first-take cynicism and random Asians wandering through the shots.

In his autobiography, Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash notes that Steven Adler’s drumming in the sessions for “Rocket Queen” was so coked-up and arrhythmic that producer Mike Clink had to sit down and splice together the whole track from random sections. LeftLane’s producer Matt Sargent found himself in about the same situation here. Is this video as good as “Rocket Queen”? Of course not.

Therefore, please accept my apologies for even suggesting that you watch it. And I’d like to apologize to GM, as well, particularly to the fellow who asked me to “stop touching the Enclave” during the “wave rider” segment about halfway through. Thanks!

Video courtesy LeftLaneNews

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53 Comments on “We Apologize In Advance For This Video You Are About To See, Both To You And To General Motors...”


  • avatar
    Bill Wade

    Tonka toys don’t break, Mercedes on the other hand…………….

  • avatar
    THE_F0nz

    You really did save yourself with the second half of that video… You might want to make it a point to mix the scathing reports with the complimentary ones from now on. The first couple minutes had me wondering if the whole video was going to be a bitch fest….

    I actually like the styling of the impala. Seriously. I was shocked when I saw it. (Not the old one, the new one)

    • 0 avatar
      Pig_Iron

      Good suggestion. Just the same though, his reaction was about the same as mine would have been. These makers over-hype and we’re left diappointed.

  • avatar
    Nostrathomas

    I don’t mind the raw presentation as long as the commentary is good. And it was highly enjoyable! More please.

  • avatar
    mikedt

    Ouch. I’m thinking you’ll be banned from next year’s show. And really, what the hell was going on with that door handle? Did the forget a couple screws?

  • avatar
    Halftruth

    Pretty funny and honestly brutal at times.. :)

  • avatar
    Chocolatedeath

    Honestly I expected you to bash the Lincoln. I like it but from what I have seen here a lot of folks don’t. I have criticized it on some points as far as what I “THINK” its Drive-ability may be but overall I like the interior and exterior. And now that my wife has seen the interior of the new ES350 she is thinking Lincoln..
    My only issue with Lincoln is that I wish that they all drove more like the LS did years ago. I wonder how fast this thing would be if they dropped the ECO BOOST 6 in it?

  • avatar
    graham

    I could only make it though 1:36 of the video. And only made it through two words in the article before arriving at the dreaded strikethrough effect. Otherwise, well done.

  • avatar

    “Tiger wood” was histerical.

    Electric transmission to all 4 corners is something I’d like to see.

    • 0 avatar
      chuckrs

      Electric motive power works fine for locomotives. But they don’t seem to have the weight constraints cars do….. Plus, could you imagine the thrill of a short to ground running an old tired electric motive powered car through a deep puddle? Thrill may not be the right word.

      • 0 avatar
        redav

        Regenerative braking is essentially the same thing as electrically driven wheels, but obviously on a much smaller scale.

        I’m very interested in seeing what they can do with the tech. If it is possible to have a small(ish) motor drive each wheel, then EVs would be able to do some amazing things.

      • 0 avatar
        MrWhopee

        “Shocking” is probably a more appropriate word…

  • avatar
    DannyZRC

    I’ve encountered a door handle that looked like a front hinged handle but was actually top hinged, the buick may be like that.

    Fun, maybe snark overdrive but I understand the circumstance :p

    Also, I thought the RLX looked decent, but it presents well on video.

    Jack, could an RLX be a phaeton replacement, when your panther dies? Are you even a phaeton-replacer anymore?

  • avatar
    mcs

    Tiger wood? Is it a special wood resistant to golf club dings?

  • avatar
    hubcap

    Thought I might get an up close look at the Viper. The RLX looks interesting. I wonder how much it will be?

  • avatar
    Feds

    Jack, you’ve got a face for radio, and a voice for print. Those baby blues make it worth the price of admission though.

    Tiger wood works, as it looks like it would be easy to disinfect.

  • avatar
    moorewr

    Mr. Baruth, Anytime you want to bash the current, awful, mallowfat cars BMW is selling us I’m happy to watch. :-)

    Interested to hear your reaction to the MKZ is person too. I think the car has potential, although I think the early reports on the MSRP indicate Ford is over-pricing it.

  • avatar
    carguy

    Nice work Jack. Feel free to do this more often.

  • avatar

    Doesn’t Farago have a GL?

  • avatar

    So you love the Lincoln but hate everything else. Great.

  • avatar
    PDXTSX

    I really liked the honestly of your coverage of this show. However, I think that while the M6 cabrio may not fully display M division’s full potential, it is still pretty awesome. And I don’t like BMW or convertibles all that much.

    • 0 avatar
      arbnpx

      The F12 M6 is the answer to the question “What if BMW actually did make the E31 M8, and made it a convertible?”.

      Jack’s desire for a lightweight M6 is misplaced; the 6 series hasn’t been that light since the E24. If he wants a lightweight M coupe, he should keep waiting for the M3, and hope they keep the weight lighter than the Bavarian Camaro that is the E92 M3 (which is a wonderful car, but still… it’s as heavy as a Camaro).

  • avatar
    grzydj

    I was wondering if a guy that has imaginary girlfriends was actually real, but turns out he is! Too bad his girlfriends aren’t.

  • avatar
    stuntmonkey

    Well, at least this review is going over better than on LLN. I’d like to think we get it, we snark, but we’re not snarkful.

  • avatar
    APaGttH

    Loved the BMW piece – just about shot Diet Coke through my nose listening to you about the X1.

    The Impala is a badge job but you love the Lincoln? Yikes!*

    *No fan of the Impala interior, like the exterior but can see it is polarizing, sure isn’t the same sheet metal on a LaCrosse or Cadillac, and not sharing the same dash bits or other goodies for it to be a badge job.

    I think the Lincoln is a mess, can’t get past the new grille language.

  • avatar
    Clarence

    Amen. Highly entertaining. This guy should be hosting American Top Gear.

  • avatar
    redliner

    “Tiger Wood”

    What you did there… I see it.

    Will this “wood” make you more likely to have an affair?

    Also I completely agree with you on the new BMWs. Just so pathetically derivative and soft looking. It’s just like the new Altima, a “melted” last gen design. That MKZ sunroof is nice, and it seems more effort was put into the design than any other Lincoln of the past 5 years.

  • avatar
    Davekaybsc

    Wow, that has to be some of the nastiest plasti-wood I’ve ever seen. Note to automakers, if you’re not going to use actual wood, DO NOT slather the fake stuff all over every surface. That actually looked worse than some of the “exotic wood dash!” kits do.

    Note: using electric drive for the rear wheels in a hybrid AWD car is not a new concept, the Lexus RX400h had that six years ago, though admittedly it didn’t also steer those wheels. Still, that seems to be what Acura is all about – what other automakers did six years ago.

  • avatar

    It felt so good to see that big black Chevy, and to hear it was the latest… then you had to ruin it with that Azera look-alike.

    Damn, well, parts of this definitely busted the laughmeter!!! Others were just plain interesting.

  • avatar
    stuntmonkey

    > In his autobiography, Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash notes that Steven Adler’s drumming in the sessions for “Rocket Queen” was so coked-up and arrhythmic…

    Which gave us Duff’s distinctive percussive style of bass. Memories of my highschool jazzband teacher going on a biweekly tirade against the drummer for having worse rhythm than our bassist.

  • avatar
    Philosophil

    While I’m certainly no expert on wood (I like to do a bit of woodworking as a hobby), there actually is wood called ‘tiger wood’ (a number of species actually). They are very heavily figured woods and it may actually be possible to get the kind of effect displayed in the Mercedes if the tree was quarter sawn (like quarter sawn oak, which is sometimes called ‘tiger oak’). Whether such wood will have the kind of effect Jack was alluding to, however, is an entirely different matter…

  • avatar
    Dynasty

    I’m thoroughly disappointed in the styling of just about everything.

    Bloated heaps. The altima looked especially bad. The interior of the impala is atrocious. From what I saw, the buick looked nice inside and out, but not the type of vehicle I would buy.

    Someone posted earlier we are having a different kind of malaise now. I don’t know what it is, but I agree.

    • 0 avatar
      rentonben

      I agree – with the market requirements of low coefficient of drag, pedestrian crash standards, big-wheels, and quick retooling to ape any new fashion, a lot of cars are starting to look the same.

      I own one of these cars – a Buick Regal, and from the outside there’s a MB, KIA, Toyota, Chevy (new Impalla) doppleganger. Ford doesn’t have one yet, the Taurus is a boxy), but they’ll have one soon I’m sure.

    • 0 avatar
      CA Guy

      Totally agree. The Altima is very disappointing. Hope it looks better in the showroom. The more I see of the Lincoln the less I like it. I don’t think it’s going to do the job to save the brand. I’m seeing quite a few new Buicks on the road here in SoCal and they look pretty good. The only car that got me excited and I wanted to see more of was that beautiful 65 Impala SS.

  • avatar
    Adamatari

    Having a bad day, Jack?

    That was TOTALLY worth watching, and I ususally avoid videos. I also want to be the first one to say I like the “Baleen whale” look. It grew on me from the last Camry, but the MKZ is really taking it to the next level. It’s distinctive and strangely it works. For me, at least.

    I guess it seems like most things are pretty much more of the same, but with somewhat better fuel economy. The improved fuel economy is definitely a good thing, at least… But I wonder what it would take to be “a step forward” in this market. Aerocivic like crazy aerodynamics (that aren’t obviously put together in a garage)? Beetle/2CV levels of simplicity and cheapness? Could something like that even be built? The Leaf and Volt are the most revolutionary cars today I think, and both are prosaic except in their powertrain.

    Cars now are super powerful (maybe not by your standards, but relatively)… Seriously, 270hp in an Altima isn’t enough? Power is boring at this point, you can’t hardly use what you’ve got. The basic idea of the different classes of cars is all laid out. Where is the space for difference? What does it take to impress now?

    • 0 avatar
      rudiger

      Between the ‘Baleen Whale’ Lincoln and the ‘Startled Squirrel’ Chevy Spark, I don’t know which is more amusing. Seeing an MKZ behind a Spark on the highway might be akin to a low-grade Saturday morning cartoon.

      As to the Altima’s horsepower, Nissan seems to be the worst at fudging engine output solely for marketing purposes. They’ll report ‘best in class’ horsepower, but the reviews won’t support the claims. These are the sort of shenanigans (along with questionable build quality) that has kept me from ever buying a Nissan.

  • avatar
    Robert.Walter

    Good piece Jack; thanks.

  • avatar
    rudiger

    It’s always kind of fascinated me when manufacturers (i.e., Detroit) drag out one of their past hits, apparently in the hope that today’s buyers will think, “Hey, they used to make good cars! This new one must be just as great because it has the same name!”.

    OTOH, when I see something like a pristine 1965 Impala fastback, then have to look at whatever the latest vehicle GM has slapped the iconic name, it does nothing but sadden me.

  • avatar
    Rod Panhard

    Mrs. Panhard and I went to the auto show yesterday. Her perception on “crossovers” from Buick, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Chevy and Ford was that they’re really just big purses waiting to be filled. However, the new Hyundai Santa Fe with the panoramic sunroof and heated rear seats, along with it’s simple and clean dashboard was very interesting.

    Too bad about the enormous blindspot in the Mazda CX-5. That quickly fell off the list.

    The Cadillac crossover? Wa-a-a-a-a-y too much plastic in the doors, with lots of seams showing and flash leftover from the molding process.

    Then there’s the Buick Verano. Going from it to the Cruze and back again, the products are fundamentally the same. It’s a lot like going from the Pontiac to Buick to Chevy to Oldsmobile dealerships in 1977 and trying to see the difference between the Grand Prix, Regal, Monte Carlo and Cutlass. It just doesn’t seem to justify the price. And as for making Buick appeal to someone less than the age of 50? It wasn’t happening. It was old people looking at the larger Buicks.

    If GM is out of the woods in the American market, I’m a monkey’s uncle.

    • 0 avatar
      mike978

      I am surprised by your Verano comment. I too have sat on it and the Cruze at a local auto show and they look different (as much as 4 door compact sedans ever do) and the interior were different. Of course no test drive but with quite different engines (1238hp turbo vs 180hp I4) and the extra sound deadening I assume they will also feel a bit different on the road.

      Certainly not a G5/Cobalt type badge engineered job – maybe more like a Camry/ES350 type job.

  • avatar
    obbop

    Getta’ haircut, hippie

  • avatar
    skor

    Based on your writing style, I thought you were going to be a jerk, but I must admit I actually liked watching this.

  • avatar
    Crabspirits

    You have officially changed my mind on the Lincoln sir.
    I really like the back end of the car. Although the roof looks neat, in contrast to it’s outward appearance, it looks like it doesn’t offer much open area from inside the car?

  • avatar
    Mr Nosy

    New York City has an auto show? O.K.,well whatever.I’m here ain’t I? So’s I might as well type somethin’…Lets see,panning over the German exhibits we can all agree that German cars are very prestigious,my friend.Very prestigious.Good for to get the ladies,eh? OK,next.Oh yes that Buick Enclave.C’mon now, people love see if something will break if they do THIS to it.Real hard.Especially angry ex-GM owners.However I must say that interior “wood”,whether GM proclaims it to be Tiger,Natalie,or drift,hasn’t improved one whit from my Dad’s ’70 Impala.It looks almost identical.To digress a bit,what’s the obsession with wood to denote luxury for auto interiors? There are a lot more useful things trees can be used for than dolling up car interiors.
    Hey designers,why not think about veneers made from marble,glass,formica,quartz,granite,slate,drywall,etc.OK drywall might be a stretch. Onto the all new Nissan Altima,pass,I just don’t care. ACURA RLX,well this shows the 1st gen Mazda6 was clearly a trendsetter in the extraneous headlight look dept,and Honda has finally acknowledged that that tacky grill was more responsible in killing ACURA sales probably more than the economy, or a lack of engineering innovation & marketing skills,combined. As for Lincoln,Its gonna be no basketball or kickball games within 200 ft.of ANY sunroof equipped MKZ or you’ll be grounded,and any repair bill will come out of your allowance. The louvered grille/headlight combo looks like a set of wings,which is a nice change from the previous model’s baleen-like grille.Baleen,as in from a whale,is vertically oriented,kids.

  • avatar
    pgcooldad

    Whew…thanks for not covering any of Chrysler/FIAT’s offerings, and for the entertaining video.

  • avatar
    Ringer

    Both videos were thoroughly entertaining. :)

  • avatar
    Spencer Williams

    These videos may not be polished, but they don’t need to be. They are really informative and a good watch. I like them better than the finished products, more neutral videos I’ve seen of yours on LLN. Plus, you are much more Funny Smarmy Guy, rather than Cool Guy Leering at Booth Babes, and it works much better.
    Would love to see more of this!

  • avatar

    “John Popper, remember that guy that got caught with dope?”

    The authorities were more concerned with his guns. Blues Traveler played the charity preview of the Chicago Auto Show this year. Popper alluded to his bust when traveling at 110 mph as a passenger in his own car when introducing You Me & Everything:

    “a particular ride I took in a car… Mercedes goes really fast,”

    Video here: http://www.carsindepth.com/?p=8160

  • avatar
    TheHammer

    The Enclave has camphor wood-tone trim.

  • avatar
    robc123

    Hans,….. Booby you need me!.

    Dude you look like the salesman in diehard-


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