Yes, it is possible to buy an ugly, theft-victim 1998 Mercedes-Benz S500 and sell enough parts off it to get the purchase price under 500 bucks. No, it is not possible to win a weekend-long endurance race at a twisty, technical track with a monstrous, bloated, ungodly complex luxury sedan… yet the Team Opulence—We Has It S500 has done just that. For the second time.
The S500’s quickest lap time of 1:56.708 was very good, but nowhere near the best time of the race (that honor goes to the Flying Spaghetti Monster Integra, with a time of 1:52.14). The Opulence—We Has It Benz won because the team had exactly zero black flags and didn’t break anything all weekend. The second-place car, the Pro-Crash-Duh-Nation Alfa Milano, finished just two laps down; their single pass-under-caution black flag might not have made the difference, but it certainly didn’t help. Congratulations, Team Opulence—We Has It!
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