Quote of the Day: GM Marketing Maven, Maximum Bob Lutz: "You're Going to Hear a Lot More From Others About the New EPA Procedures and How We Arrived at These Figures"

Holy shit, another GM website? I swear I’ve lost track of GM’s online PR blitz—and I do this for a living. Let’s see . . . GM, GMfactsandfiction, GMeuropefactsandfiction, The Lab, GMreinvention, GM-volt, tellfritz, Fastlane, GMblogs (both YouTube and Twitter), four new eBay California partner sites, and I’m sure there’s more. Well, there’s at least one more: Chevroletvoltage.com. And on this august (August?) website, GM Marketing Maven Maximum Bob Lutz is busy defending GM’s decision to announce that the Volt will get 230 mpg in city driving—deploying his usual combination of condescension, cheerleading, willful ignorance and prevarication.

If you haven’t heard, 230 is the estimated city fuel economy number for the Chevrolet Volt, as in 230 miles per gallon, according to new federal fuel economy procedures under development [italics added] by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency for plug-in electric vehicles. And we anticipate a composite fuel economy rating of more than 100 mpg. The Volt’s estimated electricity usage is about 25 kilowatts per 100 miles, about half of what a typical household uses daily.

You’re going to hear a lot more from others about the new EPA procedures and how we arrived at these figures.

Oh no! Not “others!” Those damn, nay-saying, fun-spoiling, non-GM “others.” The “others” created the perception gap, you know. I HATE others. If you want proof that GM’s insularity makes the Great Wall of China look like a backyard fence, here it is.

Anyway, we have heard a lot about GM’s 230 mpg calculations, haven’t we? Not much of it along the lines of yes, that’s right, 230 mpg for the Chevrolet Volt in the EPA urban cycle. Absolutely. And we expect to hear a lot more about that number when the EPA devises an actual “fuel efficiency” standard for EVs and PHEVs AND when the Volt fails to achieve 230 mpg in any way meaningful to its [still theoretical] buyers.

Of this future irony Mr. Lutz is not unaware. (Surprisingly enough.) Hence Bob’s use of the word “but” in the next sentence.

But I will point out that, in the big picture, what this means is that Chevrolet is committed to seeing through the promise of Volt, and to building the cars that customers want and need. Volt is a bold step, a risk for both Chevy and GM. Our new corporate culture dictates that not only do we make bold moves, but also that we move quickly. And on Volt, we are absolutely moving as quickly as possible.

Bold moves, eh? Now where have I heard THAT before? And moving as quickly as possible means . . . moving as quickly as possible. Nothing more. Nothing less. Once again, on yet another website, Bob Lutz’s e-lips are moving, but he’s not saying anything. Well nothing particularly coherent, anyway.

And this is further proof. I’ve said before that Volt is like our moon shot, and I stand by that statement. It’s exactly like a moon shot, if the lunar landing module were getting 230 miles per gallon!

I could, of course, make some witty rejoinder. But I kinda like a comment underneath Mr. Lutz’s post, by Prophet1957:

The Saturn 5 rocket which sent the Astronauts to the moon [burned] approx 960,000 gallons of fuel. [It’s] 238,855 miles to the moon. Approx. 4 gallons per mile.

Anyone know how much fuel the actual lunar lander used and how many miles it traveled? Meanwhile, oy vey.