DetN's Burgess Loves Him Some Escalade Hybrid
Why does The Detroit News scribe Scott Burgess feel the need to diss environmentalists to praise a gas guzzler? Defensive much? All the time. In this case, Scott uses a Cadillac Escalade Hybrid to launch the usual condescension cruise missiles on tree huggers. “When the word ‘hybrid’ is scrawled across the front, back and sides of this big SUV… It creates a moral dilemma even Dr. Laura may not be able to solve as well as a jagged little pill for 40mpg.org to swallow. Can an American have a vehicle with room for eight but be environmentally sensitive? Could the crest and wreath really create the Cadillac of hybrids? Apparently so. The new Escalade hybrid offers prestige, power and just enough greenness to annoy environmentalists. Naturally, I love it.” And I love that “room for eight” thing. As if the fact that all those empty seats in the blinged-out Yukatoahoeburbalade make it somehow more environmentally friendly like, say, a minivan.
“Now, Cadillac could have opted for a smaller V-8, a criticism many environmentalists have made (though it’s not like they were going to buy one anyway). So give the customer what he wants: power, eco-distinction and the ability to tow 5,800 pounds.”
Eco-distinction? Don’t you mean eco-extinction? And how many buyers are thinking, I’d love to buy a Prius, but I need something with eight seats that can tow my bass boat? Anyway, time to piss on PETA.
“Of course, PETA, another politically oriented group, may not be happy with the Escalade either. The interior uses a small herd of cattle just to wrap the three rows of seats, doors and center console in beautiful leather. It smells delicious every time you enter the SUV.”
And, in closing, all you bastards are a bunch of foreign car loving, sheep-like hypocrites.
“See, despite all of the environmental hubbub we hear today, I don’t believe most Americans want small cars. We like to say we want them, but we don’t. We are victims to automotive fashion and fuel economy is all the rage.
“We want luxury and performance and sport and utility. We want Escalades that get 40 mpg.
“And at least this Caddy is half way there.”
So much for GM’s tradition of 80 percent cars, then.
More by Robert Farago
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@ KixStart : January 22nd, 2009 at 12:51 am anoldbikeguy writes, “We care about the environment and something like this is a way to meet all of our needs.” I see. You need a 3-ton behemoth to tow more CO2-emitting toys a couple hundred miles in rural driving but this particular 3-ton behemoth emits 20% less CO2 than other 3-ton behemoths when driven in the city that you don’t live in. I’m sure Mother Nature appreciates your concern." That is hilarious! It just goes to show how out of touch you are to the real world. I have four vehicles for the four drivers in my family. Two are four cylinders - a pickup and a sedan. The third is a sports sedan with a six that has a long term average of 25.5 MPG over three years. When we use the van, it is needed - and gets better economy than driving two of the others that would be required if we used them to move the same amount of people. Get over it! Some of us need a bigger vehicle on a regular basis and having the option of one that uses a significantly lower amount of fuel is not a bad thing! And about our toys 'spewing CO2'. You are really out of touch here as well. I have planted over six hundred trees at our property up north, the boat has a six cylinder four stroke (GM 4.3L, imagine that) that uses significantly less fuel and emits significantly less pollutants than any Honda, Yamaha or Suzuki outboard that has suffient power to move our boat - which is one of six that we have - we have a sailboat, rowboat, canoe and two kayaks that don't use any fuel. Get off of your high horse - just because I have achieved the ability to obtain things that you have not does not enable you to take the high road. Those of us who take the right steps to limit our emissions while enjoying the fruits of our labors for ourselves and our families are not a problem. Those who think that anyone who does not believe that their inherent (and many times ludicrous) beliefs trump others are obviously wrong headed and don't understand that there are a huge multitude of needs in our society and picking the optimum methods to meet our and societies needs overall is the way that we can all optimize our world.
"you should remember that this is the third badge-engineered GMT900 lard-assed hybridized vehicle and its siblings adorn dealer lots for months and months and months." As opposed to all of the other cars that are FLYING off the lots "GM is on the dole and they’re building stuff that won’t make money, won’t confer a strategic advantage " I'd say the Escalade confers an advantage "The legions of these things roaming the prairie are the big reason I no longer drive a subcompact car. You don’t have to putt along in your Ford Aspire too awfully long watching these things - and Hummer H2s and whatnot - careening along with a moron at the helm, yakking on his cell phone, eating breakfast, reading or maybe all three at once before you realize that owning a subcompact is sort of a bad idea. Their bumper is aimed at my head." Do you complain about commercial trucks? Minivans? I have a bigger problem with your typical kids in "tuner" Civics and WRXs "It tows 5800lbs. The Lambda quads do 5000lbs. What’s the point of this marginal 800lb tow rating, from a utilitarian perspective?" The BOF SUVs probably feel better while towing. I don't trust FWD based vehicles for towing regardless of what the car maker says. They should have made Hybrid long wheelbase SUVs "You might also consider that the highway fuel economy of these behemoths could almost be matched, much cheaper, by other GM GMT900 behemoths if GM cleaned up the aero, as they did on these, and installed a VCM engine, as they did on these. And they could do that without losing the original tow rating. And improve the fuel economy of all the SUVs they built, rather than just a blingy and expensive few." The regular SUVs get fantastic mileage for what they are. You'll never match the Hybrid city mileage