I know: shooting fish in a barrel. (“If only those damn fish would keep still. Martha? Martha! Where are my reading glasses? Damn! I dropped them. In the barrel! I said… Oh never mind.”) But Automotive News [sub] is reporting that Buick is changing its tagline– again– without telling us the new motto. Just in case you’ve forgotten (“Martha? Martha! Where’s my damn medication?”), Buick’s current tagline is “Drive Beautiful.” In the past, we’ve been asked “Wouldn’t You Really Rather Have a Buick?” and told “You’re Better Off With a Buick.” Buick was once “The Beautiful Buy” (hence the outgoing motto), although before that it was more of a head than heart deal, apostrophes be damned (“Smart Buy’s Buick”). And we all know that “When Better Automobiles [crossovers? minivans? SUVs?] Are Built, Buick Will Build Them.” Oh, I forgot “The Solid Feeling.” And the wartime “Buick Powers the Liberator.” And “Better Buy Buick.” And “Buy Buick’s Best.” And “Buick’s the Beauty.” And “It’s Buick Again.” [thanks to oldcarandtruckads.com]
134 Comments on “Ask the Best and Brightest: What Should Buick’s New Tagline Be?...”
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You already paid for it, so you might as well drive it!
Buick: “meh”
When better Buicks are built, the Chinese will build them.
Serious
Buick: You Have Arrived
Humorous
Buick: Get off my lawn, you damn kids!
Buick: Enjoy some cool conservative styling, you liberal wanker!
Buick: Too good for Chevrolet, Too cheap for Cadillac
Not your grandpa’s Scion!
My submission:
Buick: Old enough to want one, young enough to drive one.
And it isn’t close to “Get off my lawn you damn kids!”
Brilliant, hitman!
We Build Excitement. Consult Your Gerontologist First.
Buick – the car company with less life left than you!
This would require some fine print about life expectancy variables.
It’s Craptacular!
“Please, Don’t Test Drive a Lexus”
I am a proud 38 year old Buick owner with an 80 year old soul.
(kinda) funny:
“We fixed the intake gasket problem, for real this time.”
(semi) serious:
“A better Buick than Camry or Avalon again.”
When better cars are built, buy a Buick anyway.
or
Buick – When you’re old enough to know better.
Buick: “When you no longer have to impress anyone”
The Great Chinese Road Belongs to Buick.
“You Can’t Beat the Chinese, So Join Them”
“My friends, this is John McCain and I drive a Buick.”
Too soon?
Buick – We Used To Build The Grand National!
The new green Buick : Powered by a renewable supply of Ann Coulter bile.
“Viagra on Wheels”
Have Bob Dole talk about the cars in the 3rd person.
or
“Were Huge in Asia*”
Use David Hasselhoff as there spokesman.
*void in JDM
“If Buick Built Airplanes Would You Fly One”
Buick: It’s a Cougar Magnet
“My friends, this is John McCain and I drive a Buick.”
And so does my good friend Bob Dole!
Buick. It’s not just a car, it’s a mobile casket.
Buick – “I think I’m having the time of my life…aren’t I?”
“We’re no longer a slang expression for vomit!”
Buick. We’re Not Yet Under Strategic Review.
We know you have a choice when buying almost identical GM platforms. Thank you for choosing Buick.
Hot Young Asian Girls Love Buicks.*
When Better Automobiles Are Built, Holden Will Build Them And Sell Them In China With Buick Badges.
It’s Buick Asking Congress For Money Again.
Buick. We know our dealer was an asshole to you last time, but seriously, you’re going to buy a Kia Amanti instead?
Buick. Always Low Prices.
Buick. Drivers wanted; my vision is gone and I can’t drive myself anymore.
The LaCrosse has a stupid name and nobody wants a Buick, but it is actually based on a newer version of the Malibu’s platform. So you can probably get a better car than the Malibu for less money as long as you don’t mind that it says LaCrosse and Buick on it. (This is a bit long, but actually gives a good reason to buy a Buick)
*If they have not yet left Mainland China.
:D Your Father Never Told You There’d Be Buicks Like This.
:D
Buick…because you aren’t dead yet
Serious:
Buick: Passionate Delight
Buick: Engineering Brillance, Passionate Style
Buick: Where elegance meets precision
Comical:
Buick: The home away from the home
Buick: Arrive in style at the Bingo Hall
Buick: The laxative of automobiles
Buick – Matlock would’ve driven one. So would Jessica Fletcher.
Actually, I like “Drive Beautiful.”
Since that’s toast:
Cadillac is for luxury…
Pontiac is for excitement…
Chevrolet is for value…
Buick is for whatever that doesn’t cover.
or
When you’ve reached the stage of life where a GM will likely outlive you, you’re ready to be helped into a Buick.
or
From retirement community to rest home, go in style in a Buick.
Got another:
Buick – Get it while you still can.
@RedStapler -
In the event of a directional that persists longer than 4 hours, OnStar will seek immediate medical assistance.
Buick – Great in China, just so so in America
RF….you forgot their blatant rip-off of the Doors in ’67….”Come on Buick, light my fire!”
Seriously. They did.
“The best car you can buy.”
(I’m talking to YOU: The person with 3 bankruptcies and a 400 credit score. This is the best car you can buy.)
Not quite as crappy as before.
“Everything old is new again”
Speaking of which – Check out this Buick Ad from 1936 that I found at the link in the main article
http://oldcarandtruckads.com/Buick/Buick_Ads-237DA19A.jpg
How about… The new Buick LaCrosse.
Hey, even THIS is still more exciting than a Lexus ES.
Buick: Get the feeling; again.
@ no_slushbox:
Buick. We’re Not Yet Under Strategic Review.
Bwahaha!
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming like the passengers in his Buick!
or
Get in the Left Lane in your Buick.
The Last Car You’ll Ever Own
Am I the only one that remember Buick’s tagline from right after they picked up Tiger Woods:
“Buick. It’s All Good.”
Now THAT was a funny tagline.
Mei Guanxi
“Buick. Turn Off The Freakin’ Turn Signal, For Crissakes!!”
Lost your nest egg? Retire in a Buick.
“A good bargain in the used market”
I should have been killed years ago…
“The Last Car You’ll Ever Own”
That sir is perfect.
Buick: Check with your doctor first to ensure you’re healthy enough for driving activities.
Buick: Hey kids, its ironic.
To quote Spinal Tap:
“Buick: And why not?”
Buick: It’s So Uncool, It’s Cool.
Buick, The New Generation of Olds!
Buick: Well, when I was you’re age sonny we used to….zzzz….zzzzz…..zzzzz….zzzzz….and that’s how you’re daddy ended up in jail.
NN :
January 13th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Mei Guanxi
Especially in the US…
Or this:
Ooo! Ooo! – Pick me! Pick me!
Nearer, my Lord, to thee.
“When better automobiles are built, Buick will still be going 53 in the passing lane.”
Great new marketing tool:
“Last Time Buyer Incentive Program”
We know this is the last car you’ll ever own, so we’ll throw in a few months at the Nursing Home for free!
The Great Elysian Road belongs to Buick.
They’ve already got the jingle from the Eighties that their customer base will likely remember. It just needs a little updating for where those customers are headed today.
Maybe Buick can also lobby to become the Official State Car of Florida and Arizona.
Buick – “Hotter than Kung Pao Chicken!”
Buick – “We’re HUGE in China!”
Buick – “Tiger used to drive one”
Buick – “Better than Alzhiemer’s!”
Buick – “Silent-Tuning for those who can’t hear anyway”
Buick – “Get a lifetime supply of Viagra with purchase”
I guess it’s a little mean-spirited, but I still don’t see Buick’s place in the GM lineup. Can’t Caddy cover Buick’s market demo pretty well? Some may kill me for saying it but GM ought to be Chevy, Saturn (imports and niche), and Caddy. JMO
Buick, buy one today. And with your memory, buy another one tomorrow!
Buick: “The Car That Has Somehow Survived This Long, For The Driver Who Has Done The Same!”
No, seriously, for all the inanity of the previous slogans, it might as well be “Holy F**king S**t, Buick Buick Buick Buick Buick!!!111
Buick. Not Your Father’s Oldsmobile, Either.
I really don’t know what buick should even have to opportunity to recieve a new tagline. It should be canned along with Pontiac, saturn, GMC and Hummer. The new LaCrosse should either be positioned in the Cadillac lineup as an ES350 competitor or as a Nissan Maxima Competitor in the Chevy lineup. Then the rest of the useless Buick brand can be canned.
Buick – We’ve fallen and we can’t get up.
BUICK………”we’re turning out the lights!”
Buick – Be embraced
Buick – One step up
Buick – Excessive aspiration
Buick – Because You want one
Buick – When there’s a way, there’s a will
Glory fades – Buick stays forever
Buick……The Depends of Automobiles…..
“Almost sexy enough to make you forget old people drive them…almost”
Buick. “The last car you will ever need”
Buick. “The original Grand Marquis”
Buick. “Like your best friend….on life support”
Buick. “Just like you, are days are numbered”
“Wow, It’s a Buick”.
Buick: The Pacemaker-driven Heartbeat of America
Cicero:
“Buick. Not Your Father’s Oldsmobile, Either.”
Love it. But Let’s do slogans that are as interchangible as the cars GM makes:
This is Not Your Father’s Buick.
See the USA in your Buick.
Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie and Buick
Buick. We build Excitement.
Buick. The Standard of the World.
Buick. A Different Kind of Car Company.
Buick. We are Professional Grade.
RF,
75 comments on the Buick Slogan post, 68 on the Booth Babes post.
Whew!
TTAC is STILL about cars.
It is close though and were about to get a whole slew of late in the day (East Coast) comments.
Stay tuned!
Buick really is the symbol of all that (is) wrong with GM and of what (used to be) right about the corporation. Their problem, as I see it, is that has been too long since the division sold any aspirational vehicles. What diminishing sales they have had over the past two decades have been to loyalists who identified with the marque’s glory days. Needless to say, that is a rapidly aging (and disappearing) demographic. So even though Buick has a 100 plus year history, few people alive today are aware of it (or could care.)
So they need a fresh start. The first order of business is to decide on what it is they want to be. If GM survives the current meltdown, it probably means that Buick will continue to represent the “median” GM vehicle. Not as working-class as Chevrolet, not as brassy or nouveau riche as Cadillac. But obviously (or better, not so obviously) sharing a great many parts/assembles with the other two.
Were I in charge, I would be looking at the Toyota Avalon niche: big, comfy, and well built. Excellent value. More luxury than sport. But with more style and a high technology quotient.
A new theme would be required, and it would be counter-productive to use one out of their past.
My $.02.
We built our reputation on classy names like Roadmaster, and Century and Lacrosse…oups damn those Quebecois frogs.
Buy a Buick, because Cadillac is trying to get the “old people” smell out of their showrooms.
Buick,,, it’ll hold your walker
4 out of 5 emperors recommend driving a Buick.
(serious)
Buick; Elegance Personified.
(kidding)
Buick…YES BUICK! No SERIOUSLY, BUICK!
“Segway into a Buick”
“Buick, reliable as social security”
Buick, you’ll crap your pants.
Drive a Buick – all your bridge club partners do.
Buick – as comfy as that old couch from the 70′s in your living room.
Buy a Buick, cause otherwise we’re screwed.
Some really funny stuff here, kids.
Can’t believe after reading through them I didn’t see this…
Wouldn’t you really rather have something other than a Buick?
ALLLLLLLLL abooooard the failboat.
They kept Buick because of the Chinese you fools.
They rikey.
Buick: “One foot in the grave – just like you”
Buick: Buy it for the Red Tag, drive it ’til you toe-tag.
ETA:
Buick: Spend your grandkids’ inheritance on depreciation.
Buick: Because useless portholes are our bag, baby!
“Buick – Because Rick Wagoner has a son in college”
Buick. Holds Its Value Best At Estate Sales.
Elegance -
Buick: The Grandeur of Venice, Florida
Legal -
Buick: The Estate on Wheels
Comfort -
Buick: Rest in Peace
Legacy -
Buick: Inherit the Wind
Value -
Buick: We Neutered a Cadillac
Technology Leadership -
Buick: Clapper Compatible
Remember to have your pet spayed or neutered.
And the new theme music should be the old Ann Murry song, “Snowbird”.
RF,
you really should pick five and run a poll!
Buick, because you’re never too old to have been born yesterday.
“The Passionate Pursuit of Adequacy”
Buick – Tiger ended it with us, maybe you should too.
“Remember to have your pet spayed or neutered”
Sexual harassment……WHAT sexual harassment???
Here’s my craptastic line for the Buick Lucerne:
This is not your father’s Oldsmobile Aurora…
it’s Grandpa’s!
Buick: The Cocoon GM Ensures You Can Depends On.
@guyincognito:
I’ve been laughing for the last 20 minutes at your tagline. Well done.
Buick, not for those born yesterday–for those born the day before yesterday.
Buick: Go Out Comfortably
Forget marketing tagline, they need to develop vehicle packages:
* Vinyl package – free vinyl roof and clear seat cover
* Sound package – amplified blinkers and speed alert over 55
* Vision package – prescription windshields
Buick: what a shame.
Buick, for those retirees without a carport.
Cadillac DTS, for those retirees with a carport or garage.
Buick, Sloan’s Second Best.
Buick, a great and rare machine that a woman can admire and enjoy to the fullest, but only a man can truly understand.
Oh, wait… They already used that one. Darn.
Go to YouTube and search “buick sexist” it’s the first video. Very pink. Sorry, I can’t do a YouTube attachment easily on my iPhone.
‘Bingo!’
Tiger pulls into a rural gas station in Newfoundland to fill up his Buick. As he gets out of the car a few golf tees that were scattered around the inside the car fall out onto the ground. The gas station attendent noticing this and thinking they were part of the car asks,”Hey Mr. Woods, what are they?”. Tiger replies “they are to hold my balls when I am driving”. The attendent replies, “those clever Buick engineers think of everything, don’t they?”.
Buick – The Ultimate Golf cart!
Buick – The Official Pace Car of America’s Highways!
The hospice for the highway.
Cicero :
January 13th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
“The Passionate Pursuit of Adequacy”
Nice. But if I may…
The Dispassionate Pursuit of Adequacy
“The pulse of America”
or if you prefer something in a dead language:
“Nascentes Morimus”
Funniest. Thread. Ever.
“The Last Car You’ll Ever Own”
You just can’t top that one.
How do you say “either buy Buick or we Chinee won’t buy any more US debt. You now warned” in Mandarin? Of course it’d have to be subtitled in massive script.
Or how about “You like eggroll and peanut chicken so want Buick as side dish.”
Or “Buick. Your fortune cookie on wheels”
OK I’ve worn that out.
Since it’s a case of what the hell have they got to lose (other than my and your ex-money, via the thieves in DC, natch), why not go back to “When better cars are built, Buick will build them” and while GM is at it, Chevrolet should go back to “See the USA in your CHEVROLET” and Caddy “The Standard of the World.”
Pontiac, Saab, Saturn, Hummer and GMC can just expire and good riddance.
“Hey, we just sold a CAR!!!!“
Buick: Ask the man who sometimes recalls owning one.
Imperialist – you get my vote. Classic. I’ve been in tears laughing for about 10 minutes already at all these posts.
menno: “Since it’s a case of what the hell have they got to lose (other than my and your ex-money, via the thieves in DC, natch), why not go back to ‘When better cars are built, Buick will build them’ and while GM is at it, Chevrolet should go back to ‘See the USA in your CHEVROLET’ and Caddy ‘The Standard of the World.’”
Amen.
Alternatively, how about “Buick: the car for people who no longer need braces or pimple cream.” Ageism can cut both ways.
Buick : Badge Engineering Since 19xx
Buick : Making Imports More Uglier
Buick : Making Imports into Genuine American Cars since 19xx
Buick : Meats Pies, Kangaroos and Holden Cars
Buick: “Liberal douche proof. Guaranteed.”
‘Aren’t you sick of that little bus that picks you up out front?’
‘Buick, it’s Dependsable!’
it’s a crying shame that the disastrous marketing and product starvation done by GM executives has made it possible for so many to ridicule this once proud and successful brand. sad really.
Buickman…it is. One of the first cars I fell for was a sky blue metallic 68 GS400 hardtop. It looked and sounded great.
Buick…
The perfect ride to Adult Day Care.
Serious:
Remembering the past, building for the future.
Buick… Drive in style.
Buick: It’s the car you really want.
Not serious:
“What’s wrong with being sexy?”
OK I’m in a constructive suggestion mood this morning. So, General Messup, listen up.
See my post above. Seriously; use the old favorites.
Chevy: “See the USA in your Chevrolet”
Buick: “When better cars are built, Buick will Build them”
Caddy: “Standard of the World”
Then dump the other brands.
Here’s the tickler; for the “Saturn” Astra, if you want to keep it as a premium small car, why not just be honest about it and call it the Opel Astra, and sell it through Buick dealers as in years past?
As for the Vibe, well, gee, some of your clientele really do want reliability that your company obviously cannot provide, so change the grill and call it the Chevrolet Vibe. The predecessor, a Corolla clone, was sold as a Geo then Chevrolet Prizm, after all.
Buick WAS once a viable, decent car choice. But spotty GM quality always kneecapped the brand, and now you are seeing the result.
Case in point; I was “just” able to afford a new car in 1978, and fell in love with a burgundy 1978 Buick Century 4 door, V6, automatic. The dealer and I came to agreement on a price and monthly payments, I took it for a test drive, and since I was on leave, I drove it to my folks’ house to show them and ask what they thought. When I went to restart the car to leave, it sounded like the starter was held onto the engine with one loose bolt – and the car made the most God-awful grinding noise when it started (I had the window open instead of closed so could hear it better). I ended up only being able to afford a 1 year old Plymouth Volare’ which was a different POS story. But I didn’t bother with the Buick.
Just one story, I know. But being a car guy, Buick QUALITY could have kept me coming back, had they retained any.
For more information on GM’s demise, read John Delorean’s book “On a clear day you can see General Motors” as to how foolish decisions high up even in the late 1960′s doomed this company. Like dismantling the division structure and starting GMAD (“GM assembly division” – i.e. all cars are “equally bad” in GM-lingo)
It just takes the (once) largest company in the world a LONG TIME TO DIE, that’s all.
Buick: “Does Anyone Else Smell Burnt Toast?”
Buick – If you only get 6 hours make sure they’re a good 6 hours.
Buick – Keeping rentals going for 2 decades.
Buick – Closing down sale, many discounts.
The new LaCrosse should either be positioned in the Cadillac lineup as an ES350 competitor
Its going to have to be a Hyundai->BMW improvement over the last one to even have a hope of parking in the same multi-story as that for capability. And even then it won’t be on the same floor.
I’ll have a glass of what he had please.
“‘damaged brand’?-Ask the man who owns one!!!”
Seriously maybe Buick ought to bring back the mid-60s Buicks and add modern updates like airbags, ABS, emissions, power everything, etc but use the very same body, interior, chassis, etc. That would make it unique in the new car market… Wonder home many people would line up for the car??? I don’t mean a $45K retro looking pickup that had been modernized inside and out – I mean the actually old design of everything that would pass safety and emissions tests…
Most of the current GM sedans are pretty bland but I’d certainly give one of those 60s style cars a serious look if the mileage was at least 25-30 on the highway and they kept the weight down so that a modern V-6 could haul it around at a decent clip.
All of the little slogans in this article were REALLY funny.