Ask the Best and Brightest: What Strings Should We Attach to the Great Detroit Bailout?

Assuming Detroit is about scarf several billions of your children’s children’s children’s tax dollars, I think you have a right to decide what strings should be attached to the bailout bucks. So, what strings do you think should be attached to the bailout bucks? Although Washington and Detroit see all three ailing American automakers as much or a muchness, TTAC readers are well aware that there are three types of epic failure involved. In GM’s case, it’s everything: models, brands, dealers, advertising, management, product development, you name it, they’ve screwed it up (with the possible exception of pickup trucks). Some kind of wholesale management slaughter– from mid-level all the way to the Bored of Directors and every Wagoner, Lutz, LaNeve and Henderson in between– would at least give me some sense of vindication (and it IS all about me, no matter how much I protest). How you can restructure GM without playing the Chapter 11 “get out of 50-state franchise law and UAW contracts free” card is beyond me. But perhaps not you. (OK, now it’s about you.) In Chrysler’s case, how do you prevent those rat bastards at Cerberus making a penny on this deal at any point ever? And if GM’s glue-on-the-hoof, what of Chrysler? Personally, I’d rather invest in Tesla. But as Pooh says, what to do? What to do? Or is that Eeyore? Ford is the Golden Child. Or, more precisely, the kid who’s coughing but not showing any other signs of plague. Yet. Seems to me they’re on the right track, but running out of rail. And maybe we should get rid of those pesky Fords who call the shots at Ford (I originally typed “shits” but that’s just my subconscious talking). Or not. I dunno. I’m thinking about all this for an editorial. Little help?