#UK

As mentioned in an earlier article, I’m getting old. Far too old to understand the younger generation. But with experience comes cynicism (maybe that should be a TTAC slogan?). The more things change, the more things stay the same. In the recent cutbacks, which the new UK government introduced, a fund called the “Grant for Business Investment Scheme” (GBI) is to be phased out by 2012. The fund was used by Nissan for their plant up in Sunderland, Tyne and Wear. Production of the Leaf came to the UK on the back of a £20.7m grant from the GBI fund. Well, Nissan didn’t take too kindly to the news of the dry money well, says the Daily Mail.

Dealerships are a pain in the neck. The salesman tries to convince you that they’re your friend (when you know damn well they want as much money as they can squeeze out of you), getting warranty work out of them is sometimes a nightmare and, if you’re buying used, you don’t know what the car has been through. You can write a letter of complaint, but will that really help*? You may get a discounted service as compensation, but will anything REALLY change? Well, BMW wants to shake the dealership experience up a bit. In the customers’ favor.

The Royal Automobile Club (RAC) held its first Future Car Challenge. This was a race from Brighton to London (about 57 miles). The Auto Channel says it was to see who could consume the least during the trip. To keep things fair, the trip consisted of different driving conditions from country roads to traffic jams. Well, the race was done and the results are in. I can now reveal that the winner of the first RAC Future Car Challenge is, (soft) drum roll, please…

A few days ago, I wrote about car sales all over Europe falling faster than a…..erm……really fast thing. I also wrote how this didn’t bode well for the UK car market. Well, the figures are in and, unfortunately, I wasn’t wrong – this time. It’s pretty bad. New car registrations fell 22.2 percent in October. The Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders (SMMT) also said that further declines are likely for the rest for the year. Oh goody(!) Looks like I’m going to have to find more words for “dropped”.

Shall we take a look at the carnage? It’s not for the faint of heart.

No story should ever start, as this one does, with “my First Rover Metro.” The implication that there are more Metros to come is all too obvious, and could probably be best categorized as a “cry for help.” In any case, my first Rover Metro was a teal 1995 1.1L Kensington edition, purchased for £60 from a friend in Bishop-Stortford. The Kensington edition meant I got shards of carpet over the door panels, and the kind of pizzazz that only an engineer from Coventry would be able to come up with. The Metro lasted only 19 hours in my hands before a brake failure led to its demise into the back of a yellow Hyundai. My second Rover Metro was a 1997 Tahiti Blue 1.1L Ascot edition*, which meant I got full wheel covers and blue piping in the velour. This only accelerated my descent into the world of English motoring, where I found joy and fulfillment in the death rattle of a Rover K-series engine.

*astute readers will recall that both vehicles are technically Rover 100’s, but are always remembered in pop culture as the Metro.

I’m going drifting. I’m going drifting dressed in the finest English brown velour ever to roll out of Dagenham, England. I’m going drifting in what this week’s Curbside Classic should have been, a 1983 Ford Sierra. And with that, I rejoin TTAC after a long hiatus due to our wonderful country sending me to various deserts to hunt for Osama bin Laden.

I have survived, although my Hilux did not after one ill-placed Taliban rocket sent shrapnel through the radiator. I also relish returning to write for one of the finest audiences I know, the Best and Brightest.

Want a sports car, outfitted with an ejection seat, machine guns, radar and a nail-throwing machine? Too late. The silver Aston Martin DB5, driven by Sean Connery in Goldfinger, changed hands for $4.1m at auction today.

Launching a new car division is tough. A monumental task, you might say. And it has to be executed just right. I’ll give you an example, look at Lexus. When Lexus was launched in the United States, it was a hit. It didn’t take much to separate American drivers from their Cadillacs, Lincolns and Buicks. Now compare this to the European launch. Lexus never really took off. Why? Well, a good reason would be that when Lexus starting exporting to Europe, Germany was making luxury cars to a high standard already, so Lexus was nothing special. Hyundai knows this.

We are being reminded that one of the few things that still are common to the U.S. and the UK are their legal system, conveniently called the “common law.” British barristers are looking to American attorneys for new ideas. And here is one of them: If an obese driver dies in a car accident, it’s not her fault. It’s the fault of the manufacturer, who didn’t crash test with overweight crash test dummies.

A few months ago I reported how Renault was planning on pulling out of IBC Vehicles (a joint venture between Nissan, General Motors and Renault) so they could take production of their Renault Trafic van to their underutilized plant in Sandouville, France. This would have left IBC Vehicles in trouble as valuable volume would have left the plant in a precarious position. Well, it seems IBC Vehicles can now afford to say “Au Revoir” to Renault.

We all thought it was trick. We all thought Aston Martin was playing an (admittedly) funny practical joke. But no, it was confirmed. The Aston Martin Cygnet (A.K.A The Toyota IQ with a posh badge) has been confirmed for production.

It’s that time again. The time that I report on the market that no-one cares about. The UK. The SMMT has released the car registration figures today and as predicted, they fell, but not as much as other markets. The UK saw new car sales fall by only 8.9 percent, compared to, say, Italy. Overall, the UK market still remains 7.8 percent higher than last year (to date). The Ford Fiesta remains the best selling model in the UK, which will do our balance of trade with Spain and Germany no favors. Diesel cars and alternatively fuelled cars all posted growth in September. What was also telling about this “growth” was this little nugget of information: Private demand fell, while fleet demand increased. That’s right, while private customers are fleeing, car makers are trying to sustain volume by following the fleets. Shall we take a look the breakdown?

A friend of mine once tried to break the world record for the longest time standing on one foot. The record (at the time) was held by Arulanantham Suresh Joachim of Sri Lanka for standing on one foot for 76 hours and 40 minutes. My friend lasted 2 minutes, then collapsed in heap and wondered if he’d maybe broken a bone in his leg. Silly boy. If he wanted to get into the Guinness Book of World Records, all he had to do was buy a Volkswagen Passat.

The ad shown above seems to cement a sad reality for automotive enthusiasts: the objects of our passion are no longer considered the cutting edge of material culture. And this reality is reflected is reflected in more than just ads for mobile phones, the object that appears to have replaced cars as the touchstone of youthful cool. For a broad array of reasons, young people (the traditional arbiters of cool) are less obsessed with cars and car ownership than they once were. Even automakers themselves are rushing the automobile to the scrapheap of history by seeking to load ever more phone-like capabilities to cars, a trend that both fuels phone mania and disinterest in driving as an intrinsically rewarding experience. But, it seems, that cars can still be cool after all…