#AudiQ8

Maybe I am softening in my old age, or maybe crossovers are getting a bit better to drive, or both, but I found myself semi-charmed by Audi’s Q8 crossover. Of course, a luxury crossover should be somewhat enticing, lest the buyer feel he or she wasted money each month when that car payment auto drafts out of the bank account.

I say semi-charmed for a few reasons. One, the Q8 is still a crossover, not a sport sedan. Two, there were tradeoffs.

Audi finally revealed its latest entry in the increasingly popular luxury SUV segment: the Q8. Think of it as a more contemporary take on the Q7. The automaker calls it an expressive new design that serves as “the new face of the Q family.” While we’re all for German manufacturers occasionally drawing outside of the lines, we’re not positive it was a good idea in this case.

No shortage of hype preceded the debut, which tricked many into thinking the vehicle behind the curtain would reveal itself as irrefutably gorgeous. Instead, what we received is an interesting looking crossover that’s certain to be (at least somewhat) polarizing, heralded by dozens of teasers — including an internet-based video drama.

Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t bring myself to continue discussing the turd sandwich that was Audi’s promotional miniseries for the Q8. It was only ever going to progress into more and more hateful rants. However, I now fully recommend you watch the series in its entirety, as the ending was dumb enough to prompt a violent laughing fit.

Audi officially unveils its all-new Q8 utility vehicle next week. Unfortunately, I’ll be forced to watch episodes of the terrible miniseries the company decided to use as a digital hype machine until that time.

After expressing my concerns over the initial episode’s lack of vision and total inability to provide viewers with a single meaningful image of the automobile, I can happily report back that Audi has solved one of those problems nine days later. Having just finished episode three, the plot remains as meaningless as the lyrics to Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti.” However, we are finally treated to a brief glimpse of the Q8’s bodywork — which is all I’m willing to care about at this point.

The marketing wizards at Audi decided to unveil the upcoming Q8 crossover via a series of internet shorts, called #Q8Unleased #Q8Unleashed, chronicling the antics of Sandra and Quentin — who we’re told are an “an extravagant power couple” living in California who have fallen upon dark times. Curious about the vehicle and Audi’s attempt at digital drama, I caught the first episode today.

Having just completed my viewing, I have to admit I feel a little cheated. To my dismay, the three-minute video didn’t include a single meaningful shot of the new utility vehicle. While I didn’t expect Audi to give up a front three-quarter view in episode one, I also didn’t expect a half-second glimpse of the Q8 badge followed by tight interior shots of the protagonists. Unless you have supreme interest in the vehicle’s headrests, there is really nothing for you here.

However, if you’re interested in extended shower scenes, brief fights that involve men hugging each other, and bad R&B songs produced exclusively for internet dramas, then you’ll be elated with the rest of this article. As for the Audi that’s likely to appear in subsequent episodes, all I can tell you is I think it’s orange.

Audi released a new concept sketch of the Q8, but the Hot Wheels aesthetic doesn’t give us much to go on. We doubt the production model will come adorned with 30-inch wheels and balloon out toward the bottom, as illustrated. However, the drawing does appear to indicate an adherence to a taillight design not all that different from what we’re seeing on the A8.

Extending across the entirety of the vehicle’s rear, Tim Cain compared the sedan’s brake light styling to the now dead Dodge Dart. While the colorful Q8 draft indicates something a bit more angular, the basic shape remains intact and makes us wonder if this aesthetic will eventually spill into the rest of Audi’s stable.

That theory will take some time to pan out, but discovering the final decision on the SUV’s taillights won’t. Despite the official reveal still being a few weeks away, Audi has announced an original, adult-themed five-part video series — called Q8 Unleashed — starring the vehicle. The first episode is scheduled to drop May 21st.

The concept is derivative of the BMW film series The Hire, which initially came out in 2001 to showcase Clive Owen manhandling the brand’s fleet. The series returned for a brief run in 2016, which makes us wonder if a marketing manager at Audi was a fan.

Audi issued a press release today to remind the world that it’s going to be Germany’s preeminent source for sport utility vehicles. While every major automaker is making a push into the segment, Volkswagen Group has assigned Audi with one of the largest.

Today, the company outlined its production strategy for the forthcoming Q4 and Q8 models, reaffirming its claim that crossovers could account for half of its global sales in the very near future. By 2019, Audi will have expanded its SUV lineup to include seven individual models and increased its overall production volume to meet the growing demand.