#AstonMartin

Whenever I mention Daimler’s Über-Benz Maybach, even people in the know often remark: “Haven’t they stopped making them a while ago?” No, they have not. But they might. Or not.

Ladies and gentlemen, today is a historic day for the Aston-Martin brand. Never in the rich and storied history of the British sportscar maker has there ever been a vehicle, and therefore a review, quite like this one. Autocar handles the burden of history with the soft touch that defines nearly every “first drive” review, demeaning its own readers’ inability to purchase this exclusive Aston rather than daring to question its point, purpose, performance or purchase price. So read on, dear reader… because what we have here is a piece of automotive history. And since you’ll never own one of these proud and noble machines, you might as well use this opportunity to bask in its reflected glory. To wit:

The 97bhp four-cylinder engine feels and sounds energetic up to 50-60 mph. The optional CVT transmission gives easy step-off at traffic lights. In this car it it’s a much better option in a city car than any fiddly five-speeder.

The [Aston-Martin] can produce a quite refined cruising performance on motorways if necessary, though passing performance isn’t its forte.

The steering is feather-light and nicely accurate. If you haven’t sampled [this Aston-Martin] you’ll be surprised by the sheer pleasure that flows from using its scooter-like turning circle, especially when it’s a viable three-seater, that can occasionally cope with four if you don’t mind having no boot space.

But wait… that’s not all! Hit the jump for the answer to the question you’re doubtless asking yourself at precisely this moment: Should I buy one?

Want a sports car, outfitted with an ejection seat, machine guns, radar and a nail-throwing machine? Too late. The silver Aston Martin DB5, driven by Sean Connery in Goldfinger, changed hands for $4.1m at auction today.

As the über-ridiculous Aston Martin One-77 approaches final production-readiness, watching the thing run hot laps is finally becoming as much fun as wrapping your head around its €1.4m ($1.9m) pricetag. Especially because we’re extremely unlikely to ever see one of these things on the street. According to Auto Motor und Sport, Aston has already received a $14m offer for ten of the One-77’s 77-unit production run, apparently from a single Gulf State collector. So unless you live in one of the tonier neighborhoods of Dubai, you’re unlikely to get any closer to the One-77’s 760 horsepower V-12 than this. Enjoy the taste, peasants.

Aston Martin’s decision to sell a worked-over Toyota iQ has raised some serious questions for “brand values” advocates across the internet of late. Does an aristocratic sportscar brand need to take on the problems of urban congestion and carbon intensity? Does the Cygnet’s noblesse oblige PR value outweigh the furor of countless Aston Martin aspirants at the thought of their beloved brand becoming a glorified Toyota tuner house? The answer to both of these questions is apparently yes…

We all thought it was trick. We all thought Aston Martin was playing an (admittedly) funny practical joke. But no, it was confirmed. The Aston Martin Cygnet (A.K.A The Toyota IQ with a posh badge) has been confirmed for production.

I know someone who’s been in the fashion biz most of her life. Her affinity with handsome male models is not surprising, yet her insistence–a “shush” sound accompanied by a finger on their lips–that the Eye Candy refrain from voicing their opinions definitely got me thinking. Perhaps beauty and critical thinking are two circles that rarely intersect in the Venn Diagram of life?

True dat, since I can’t remember a day when Aston Martin’s historically gorgeous automobiles weren’t trampled by the performance of neighboring Jaguars or the German and Italian marques. And with the Rapide sedan, we have another stunning Aston Martin to admire. Shush!!!