Introducing the Incredible New Government-pandering, 93-mile Tesla Model 3

Forgive this writer for channeling Jonathan Pryce. Brush up on your secret handshake, too, as Tesla has a new version of the Model 3 customers can’t order online.

It’s a model that stands to become even more of a ghost than the U.S.-market Model 3 Standard Range, which disappeared from the company’s website after being on sale just a few days. American customers don’t apply here, as this cynical model’s sole purpose is to undercut a government EV incentive program’s price cutoff by a single dollar. A dollar, it should be said, that’s worth about 75 U.S. cents.

Who’s excited about 93 miles of range?

Probably pretty damn few, but the just-announced Canadian-market Model 3 Standard Range isn’t expected to find many buyers, anyway. It had better not. A cash-hungry Tesla sure doesn’t want to unload this vehicle for what’s undoubtedly a steep loss.

First off, credit where it’s due: Electrek‘s Fred Lambert — yes, good ol’ Fred, beneficiary of Tesla’s referral program (and recent participant in an online dust-up with an ornery CEO) — broke this bit of news.

Yeah, there was a major change in last several months. Everyone noticed, Fred. Hello.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 23, 2019

You see, up in Canada the federal government recently announced a new EV incentive program, but the $5,000 rebate is only available for models with a base MSRP below $45,000. The program, which kicks off, well, today, covers such vehicles (containing six seats or less) up to an optioned-out $55,000.

The key is that lower figure. Models starting above it can’t play, and the Model 3 Standard Range started at $47,600 before “gas savings” in the Great White North. The vehicle Musk actually wants customers to buy — the Standard Range Plus — stickers for $55,010 north of the border. Shave off the $1,300 destination charge and $10 OMVIC fee, and it becomes eligible for the federal incentive, but only if someone takes an axe to the carefully hidden base model.

Which Musk promptly did, slashing the Model 3’s base MSRP to $44,999.

That puts the Standard Range Plus in the running, and it’s the only reason why Tesla is offering a cheaper version of a model it doesn’t want anyone to buy. Will anyone actually take ownership of a Canadian Standard Range model? One assumes Tesla will build at least a few of these software-restricted dogs, but who’s going to shell out $44,999 for a vehicle with less range than a previous-generation Nissan Leaf or Ford Focus Electric?

Ninety-three miles of range is all the incentive anyone needs to dig deeper into their wallet to get the 240-mile Standard Range Plus, which now unofficially qualifies for the $5,000 rebate (Transport Canada has not yet confirmed the model’s eligibility). Upselling will be fierce, if it’s even necessary.

[Image: Tesla]