By on February 13, 2019

Image: Shutterstock

You can’t keep Dave Assman down. After repeatedly having his request for a personalized license plate rejected for being too offensive, the Saskatchewan Ram owner decided to advertise his family name in a manner no one can miss.

While Assman’s provincial government insurer won’t greenlight a plate, there’s nothing they can do to stop him from displaying an image of the plate that dare not speak its name, loud and proud, on the vehicle itself. Take that, bureaucratic puritans.

Dave Assman lives in Melville, a town an hour and change down the road from Regina, home to a certain Dick Assman of 1990s Letterman fame.

If you’ve never been to the place, a person encounters the name Assman quite a bit in the Land of Living Skies. It’s a German name, reportedly pronounced “oss-man,” though some Western friends dispute this. My buddy’s town contains an Assman Field, site of baseball games, family BBQs, and other wholesome activities. I once saw an Assman funeral parlor.

Still, despite repeated attempts dating back to the ’90s, Dave Assman’s family name is simply too inflammatory for Saskatchewan Government Insurance. That name is a cold, cold, monolith, by the way. Yikes.

“I think they are too worried that people are going to have hurt feelings about something that is complete nonsense,” Assman told the National Post last week. “Even if it wasn’t my last name who is it going to hurt?”

Saskatchewan Government Insurance’s Tyler McMurchy doesn’t see it that way. The insurer’s spokesman said that, regardless of its less-than-naughty usage, “Assman” falls in with a number of other words, phrases, and alphanumeric combos other drivers might find offensive.

“Even if a word is someone’s name and pronounced differently than the offensive version, that’s not something that would be apparent to other motorists who will see the plate,” he told NP.

We all remember that infamous Seinfeld episode, and with good reason. It’s utter comedic brilliance. In the end, the plate’s real owner is revealed as less of a ladies’ man and more of a medical practitioner. Still, governments are not known for their sense of humor. After his latest rejection, Assman didn’t fold. He got even.

Like the Alberta man who legally changed his gender to score a lower rate, Assman got what he wanted while also flipping the bird at his insurance provider:

 

And you thought glitzy “RAM” lettering was bold. Naturally, Canadians rallied around Assman’s show of defiance.

 

Not everyone was happy to see the Assman Ram, however. A California Twitter user who lives thousands of miles from Saskatchewan chose to #resist the truck’s new decals:

 

We wonder how Mr. Assman would respond to such a complaint.

[Image: Shutterstock]

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61 Comments on “Ram Owner Named Assman Sticks It to The Man...”


  • avatar
    cimarron typeR

    Awesome that he lives near Regi…well it’s funny to me.

  • avatar
    AdamOfAus

    Lol @ #resist. California Twitter users of a particular political bent. God bless them.

    • 0 avatar
      ToddAtlasF1

      Can’t they be content turning their own state into Venezuela? Canada’s got its own totalitarians trying to crush their people.

      • 0 avatar
        FreedMike

        So…the new tack among the fake-conservative set is to equate California to Venezuela. Well, they used to compare it to the Soviet Union, so I suppose that’s a step up.

        • 0 avatar
          ToddAtlasF1

          Not if you’ve seen the parts of California that I have. The Boxster-Pelosi-Costa Dust Bowl was certainly reminiscent of Stalin, but the shanty towns and tent cities are looking like the Democratic Socialism that has afflicted Venezuela these days.

          • 0 avatar
            FreedMike

            I can only think of two reasons why anyone would compare anything happening in California to Stalinism:
            1) A history degree from Rush Limbaugh University.
            2) An acid flashback.

            Come to think of it, both are pretty much the same thing.

          • 0 avatar
            ToddAtlasF1

            You can only think of two reasons? Did you notice that I provided a reason? Do you have a truth filter that enables you to regurgitate your masters’ rhetoric, immune from reason? The Costa Pelosi Boxer Dust Bowl in the Central Valley featured overflowing canals cut by man running through orchards starved of irrigation in the name of the Delta Smelt. It was uglier to see than Amy Schumer naked.

          • 0 avatar
            FreedMike

            You’re laboring under a false premise: that someone who thinks that California resembles Stalinist Russia should be taken seriously. He shouldn’t. Sorry.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            Stalinist? Far more Khrushchevesque. I think we’ll see Sputnik II any day now.

          • 0 avatar
            ToddAtlasF1

            I guess you need to have an actual education to understand the Stalinist nature of intentionally destroying farms. Congratulations. You will be the instrument of your kind’s destruction.

          • 0 avatar
            FreedMike

            Hmmm…so you’re talking about Stalin collectivizing farms at gunpoint. Bloody awful business, but if that’s what your fever dreams are telling you that California is doing, then of course you’re correct. Fever dreams are impossible to argue with.

            Stop wasting your time talking with me, and start stocking up on essentials. The Newsom Famine is coming – prepare now!

          • 0 avatar
            Lou_BC

            “1) A history degree from Rush Limbaugh University.”

            Kinda like getting a degree from Trump University?

          • 0 avatar
            FreedMike

            Actually, Lou, I don’t think Trump U offered a history degree – after all, you can’t Get Rich Quick with one of those.

      • 0 avatar
        Mike G

        I think of prudishness as more of a Southern speciality.
        Why don’t you try applying for an ASSMAN plate in a Land of Freedom(TM) like Texas, Alabama or South Carolina and then you can tell us how superior those states are.

  • avatar
    Heino

    Dick Butkus should do this.

  • avatar
    Lie2me

    So, was ButtBoy unavailable?

  • avatar
    Jerome10

    So he’s the assman!

  • avatar
    FreedMike

    The real test comes when Fred T*tsandass wants a plate.

    • 0 avatar
      redgolf

      I worked in the same area years ago with a rather top heavy woman, as she was pulling out of the parking lot in front of me I noticed her vanity plate – DD (double D ) P ;-) that wasn’t her name!

  • avatar
    retrocrank

    The earth is overpopulated and as a result there obviously not enough life to go around. How else to explain how so many humanoids need to get a life?

    What happened to being mature and self-confident enough to either get the joke or brush off a decal like this as the work of an inconsiderate idiot?

  • avatar
    retrocrank

    The earth is overpopulated and as a result there obviously not enough life to go around. How else to explain how so many humanoids need to get a life?

    What happened to being mature and self-confident enough to either get the joke or brush off a decal like this as the work of an inconsiderate idiot?

  • avatar
    EBFlex

    Can we give California to the North Koreans? Seriously that state and the people in it are the worst.

    Lets make Puerto Rico a state and dump CA. #DumpCA

  • avatar
    EGSE

    Maryland has a list of banned words that can’t show up on license plates; there are something like 4900 of them. Gives you a rare glimpse into the alleged minds of bureaucrats and makes entertaining reading when you have absolutely nothing productive to do: https://github.com/baltimore-sun-data/banned-license-plates/blob/master/full-csv

    Dave ASSMAN would get scant love in MD as would Mr BADASS.

    There is a company that makes electronics connectors named ASSMANN. Always got a few smiles when mentioned during design reviews or status meetings. http://www.assmann-wsw.com/us/en/

    • 0 avatar
      jalop1991

      Look up “F Opec Jewelers”.

      fopec.com

      The story:

      “I got a Prius in 2001 and I wanted to get the license plate, “F OPEC”, but the state of NJ declined a request pending an explanation of what “F OPEC” meant. So, I created this website and told the state I was the manager of F. Opec Jewelers and that Francis Opec was the founder and our daily inspiration. They bought it and sent me the plate.

      “Take a look at the About page. That’s Francis. He’s from Getty Images stock photography. Here’s the plate on my first Prius. My dad got the plate for his Prius when I moved out of NJ. I used to get the thumbs up all the time.”

      from Reddit:

      https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cx3lm/whats_the_best_way_youve_cheated_the_system/

  • avatar
    GM JUNK

    The name, is DOO-MOSS.

  • avatar
    slavuta

    Do you know why Canada has so much snow? – because it is made of snowflakes

    • 0 avatar
      conundrum

      What corner of the former Soviet Empire did you emerge from, all pepped up and ready to insult? Get over yourself.

      • 0 avatar
        slavuta

        Whats the difference for you? Soviets did good, didin’t they? Americans are still shaking from just mention of KGB. Lets see, which state has the most snow? Must be New England

    • 0 avatar
      Lou_BC

      “Do you know why Canada has so much snow? – because it is made of snowflakes”

      And all these years I though it was because supercooled water droplets freeze in hexagonal-shaped crystals around particles in the atmosphere. Once they get too heavy they fall out of the sky and accumulate on the frozen earth surface.

      • 0 avatar
        slavuta

        This was then. Now, these are people supercooled by specific cool-aid, which makes their brain freeze in all sorts of patterns. Once they get too heavy on their cool aid, they derail in a spectacular manner.

        • 0 avatar
          Lou_BC

          “specific cool-aid” – citations required.

          “which makes their brain freeze in all sorts of patterns”

          Obviously in patterns that you yourself disagree with!

          “they derail in a spectacular manner”

          Kinda like a wiki torch brigade member in his car in Charlottesville or some dude with an assault rifle in a classroom????

      • 0 avatar
        -Nate

        @ Lou ;

        There you go again , using education, facts and common sense….

        Don’t you know that everyone who doesn’t live in Colorado hates it ? .

        Same as California, : if you don’t live in a nice place, instead of making your place better, you just attack everything else like a robot .

        -Nate

        • 0 avatar
          slavuta

          who told you that our places are bad? Or worse than California. I visited there, but never would stay. Its not even America. Its mix of Mexico and eastern European regime of mid -70s. Hey, and there are polls lately – they suggest that majority of CA residents want to leave the state. And there are people who wants to break it in 3. So, easy there, boy

          • 0 avatar
            -Nate

            ” who told you that our places are bad?”

            _YOU_ did of course, when you ignorantly attacked California .

            -Nate

    • 0 avatar
      redgolf

      did you know that no 2 snowflakes are alike?

  • avatar
    -Nate

    LOL .

    Back in the 1970’s a gay man who drove a Datsun 240Z got “9INCH” on his vanity plate and of course, some one looking for things to complain about, tattled on him and the DMV revoked it although he kept the plate .

    California isn’t a bad place, just like Florida, Georgia, New York and many other states it has it’s flakes and nuts who’ll never stop trying to ruin life for everyone else .

    Getting overly upset about it makes you look the fool .

    -Nate

  • avatar
    mcs

    We had sort of a similar incident here in New England:

    https://www.nhpr.org/post/after-controversy-city-approves-pho-keene-great-restaurant-name#stream/0

  • avatar
    conundrum

    We had an incident here too, Man’s surname is Grabher and after years of overlooking it, bureaucrats finally came to the rescue of the perpetually outraged.

    https://ctvnews.ca/mobile/canada/n-s-man-not-allowed-to-use-grabher-surname-on-licence-plate-1.3339051

  • avatar
    BunkerMan

    Not surprising: ASSMAN written on the back of a RAM.

    Surprising: It’s actually his name, and not just a decoration he thought was cool.

  • avatar
    Sigivald

    “I’m sorry for anyone burdened with a difficult to explain name but the government is right and he is wrong. His name is identical to a sexist and misogynist term and its public display without explanation and context is offensive, and not something the government should abet.”

    She, uh, might want to look up what “sexist” and “misogynist” mean, because “ass man” – not as someone’s name – is at worst *slightly crude*, and is neither sexist nor misogynist.

    • 0 avatar
      redgolf

      yeah it could of stood for assistant, associate,stupid/dumb, man that raises donkeys – jack ass is a male donkey! Columbia Tn. has a mule day where all the owners parade down and around town showing of their pride mules, though not exactly jack asses an owner could easily pass as ASSMAN! maybe Dave should buy a jackass.

  • avatar
    Wodehouse

    I don’t understand all of the fuss! His name is Assman…not Ass Man.

    Eighteen years ago I ordered a plate “6UL DV8” just to see if anyone would raise an eyebrow. It took 11 years before someone (a police officer!) told me they got the joke.

  • avatar
    PandaBear

    I still remember the I”heart”TOFU plate’s rejection.

    No son, tofu is not a vegetable.

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