By on April 27, 2018

Obviously the B&B are all about brand-new imported luxury SUVs, as their great value, utility, and long-term prospective ownership costs put them in a class all their own.

Trolling opener aside, we’re going to talk about expensive SUVs today. Up for grabs are three contenders around the $140,000 price point, from Range Rover, Mercedes-Benz, and BMW.

Range Rover Supercharged Autobiography

The most commercially popular of our trio is up first. The Supercharged Autobiography trim is third from the top, and as high as you can go without adding an SV to the trim name. Base price is $141,995, and the Autobiography piles on unique features over the standard Supercharged with its 5.0-liter gasoline V8 (518 horsepower). Terrain Response 2 ensures you don’t get stuck in off-road situations, and pairs with a locking differential. Upgraded LED headlamps light your way outside, while a panoramic glass roof brightens up the interior. Semi-aniline leather is yours as well, and rear seats recline and are heated and cooled. A full driver-assistance package is standard, as well as eight boring colors (other colors cost lots extra).

Mercedes-Benz G550 Designo Manufaktur

Tracing its roots right back to a military SUV from 1979, the 2018 G550 is a last-of moment. For 2019 the G-Wagen enters its second generation and picks up much modernization. This is your last chance to buy a new O.G.-G. There are many ways to configure the G550 to your liking. All are powered by a 416-horsepower, 4.0-liter bi-turbo engine, driving all four wheels all the time. Three lockable differentials ensure you can take your lux box off-road (don’t scrape the dual side exhausts). Driver aids have been added to the G over the years, with adaptive cruise and parking assist among others. The Designo Manufaktur is the top trim of the G550, and opens up a world of exterior and interior colors to mix and match. Nappa leather and wood are here, as well as rear seat entertainment and the adaptive suspension package. Total cost ends up at $141,995.

BMW X5M Individual

Rounding out our trio is the most powerful X5 that money can buy; the one with the M badge on the back. Stomping the other two competitors, 567 horsepower is provided by BMW’s familiar 4.4-liter V8 and two turbochargers. Sixty miles an hour occurs in just four seconds, and must feel shocking with this sort of mass underfoot. The price of this performance is less off-road capability than either of the others here today. With a lower starting price than the other two competitors, we can load up the X5M with every option. An Executive Package adds driver assist, head-up display, surround exterior cameras, WiFi, and heated and ventilated everything. It’s easy to spring for the Bang & Olufsen sound, rear entertainment package, night vision, and M driving package. All this is layered on the Individual trim, allowing you to pick from a selection of premium exterior and interior colors. The speedy X5M is the value option even when fully decked out, at just $123,350.

Which gets your nod and the Buy title? Common and modern, prestigious but old, or less capable but blisteringly fast?

[Images: Jaguar-Land Rover, Mercedes-Benz, BMW]

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90 Comments on “Buy/Drive/Burn: 2018 High-end Luxury SUVs for Over $100,000...”


  • avatar
    tinbad

    This one is pretty obvious: Burn the Range Rover (duh!), buy the Benz (best resale and durability). Drive the BMW, because it’s the best handler of the 3 and I would be the least ashamed being seen in one.

  • avatar
    bumpy ii

    Lease the Benz on some sweetheart deal, then turn it it so it can be resold to some African warlord.

    Drive the Range Rover, because you’ll impress the wage slaves you roar past on the freeway.

    Burn the BMW, because it has no whiff of off-road heritage like the other two; ergo it’s inherently a poser-mobile.

    • 0 avatar
      Kyree S. Williams

      The X5 never pretended to have any off-road prowess. It was the first SUV to trily priortize sportiness and on-road performance, a paradigm that has been adopted by many other cars. Unlike the M-Class, Touareg, and Cayenne, no generation of the X5 ever had a two-speed transfer case. I don’t believe there’s an off-road mode in the driving settings, nor does BMW market it as an off-roadable vehicle. But…you could get the first-gen (E53) X5 with a manual transmission.

      So I wouldn’t say the X5 is a poseur at all. In fact, the X5 M version might be the model’s purest incarnation.

  • avatar
    Vulpine

    Not a great fan of any of them, but in respect for the challenge…

    Buy: Mercedes G550 — The only TRUE SUV of the bunch, its platform is related to the platform under the JKU Jeep Wrangler Unlimited. Only, I hope they at least chose to use real metal instead of pot metal on some of the ‘less visible’ parts like the handbrake (had ratchet teeth break off on the ’08 JKU I owned, designed by and at the moment still specced by Daimler. Caused four complete two-axle brake overhauls before the shop realized that the handbrake was causing the brakes to drag. Each time the handbrake was pulled, on release it would fail to release one notch on the ratchet, causing it to gradually apply a mechanical brake into the system which the hydraulics would attempt to balance. Covered completely by FCA on all overhauls AND the replacement handbrake gear once the cause was discovered.

    Drive: Rover — Even though it claims SUV status and is somewhat capable off-road, it clearly is not meant for off-road play with those oversized wheels and low-profile tires. The design itself doesn’t make for much hard-core off-roading compared to the old Defender which was meant for expedition work and not so much on highways.

    Burn: BMW — Purely a highway car that doesn’t deserve the label of SUV. This is a CUV, even if it does, maybe, have some sort of frame under it. If I need an SUV, then it needs to have off-road chops at least to the point of getting out of a wee bit of mud in a grassy field after parking there for the county fair. This thing would just dig a deeper hole and force the driver to beg a tow.

    • 0 avatar
      Big Al from Oz

      The G Wagen is the one. It is a true off roader.

      If you want an expensive shopping car, buy the AMG G Wagen.

    • 0 avatar
      Kyree S. Williams

      “The only TRUE SUV of the bunch, its platform is related to the platform under the JKU Jeep Wrangler Unlimited.”

      Not so. Though both the G-Class and Wrangler JK were DaimlerChrysler vehicles, they aren’t related. The basic version of the G-Class dates back to 1979. It’s had several tweaks done to the body since then and I’m sure they’ve completely redesigned the ladder frame in that time, but it’s still not related to any part of the Wrangler. The new-for-2019 version is the biggest change so far, but it’s still not a total redesign.

      Now, the current Grand Cherokee and Durango share a unibody platform with the M/GLE-Class and GL/GLS-Class. I believe Jeep led development of that platform. That won’t be the case once the GLE and GLS models are redesigned and start using Mercedes-Benz’ new modular platform.

      But the G-Class and Wrangler JK are separate product with no parts commonality.

      As for the X5, it’s a unibody. Always has been. But so is the Range Rover. The Range Rover has been a full unibody since 2003. The first-gen (2006-2013) Range Rover Sport was on a unibody/ladder frame hybrid through 2013. In 2014, it too became unibody.

      • 0 avatar
        Vulpine

        Hate to say it, Kyree, but they were related. If nothing else, the JKU was a direct spin-off of the Daimler G as going down the road they look virtually identical until you get close enough to see the differences. When I bought my JKU and saw my first G after that, I truly believed it was a modified JKU until I saw the tri-star on the grill. And the JKU came with a Daimler 6-speed manual that was, at the time, supposedly the same manual tranny as in the G.

        Yes, there were differences. Those differences tended to be more in materials outside of the permanent hardtop body and a full tail door rather than the short one used in the Jeep. Remember, the JKU came out in ’07 but the Gladiator pickup concept was announced in ’05 and already showed the overall JK look and size. Long before Fiat even considered buying Chrysler.

        The 2019 models of both will accelerate their separation from a roughly common core but the JK/JKU was most certainly based on the G.

        • 0 avatar
          MBella

          The G-Wagon doesn’t share anything with any generation Jeep. Just because they look similar doesn’t mean anything. The chassis for the G-Wagon has been pretty much unchanged for it’s entire life. What changes are the powertrains and interiors.

          • 0 avatar
            Vulpine

            And your evidence, MBella?

          • 0 avatar
            conundrum

            @ Vulpine

            No, I’d say it is entirely up to you to prove your premise. You’re the one making the odd claim. Allpar makes no mention of the JK being a G-Wagen soulmate, and they would have been on that like a fly on dead meat back in 2006/07. No mention of the similarity can I find via Google. Anywhere.

            Meanwhile based on your eyeball and nothing else, we are supposed to believe you’re correct and the other two are wrong. Highly unlikely considering Kyree has a memory like an elephant, and MBella is/was a high end repair technician.

            So I challenge you to prove your departure from orthodoxy is correct.

          • 0 avatar
            Vulpine

            “Highly unlikely considering Kyree has a memory like an elephant, and MBella is/was a high end repair technician.”

            — Those two should be better able to prove their points than I am mine then, shouldn’t they? It seems you just put them in the hot seat. So. Where’s the Beef?

        • 0 avatar
          Kyree S. Williams

          Nah. The JKU as a four-door off-roader may have been inspired by the G-Class. But that’s where the similarities end. The cars have no parts or structural commonality.

          It’s sort of like how the R-Class and the Pacifica were inspired by the same principle, as a sort of pseudo-minivan wagon, but one was a RWD-based offshoot of the E-Class, and the other was built on a FWD-based minivan platform. Although those cars actually did have a few shared parts, like the instrument cluster.

        • 0 avatar
          dal20402

          Vulpine, you never admit you’re wrong, but you’re wrong on this one. There is zero commonality between the G and any generation of Wrangler. All of the dimensions and hard points are completely different, and I challenge you to find a single common part.

          This G is a direct descendant, with plenty of common parts, from the original ’70s version. The JK Wrangler was brand-new for the 2007 model year. To the extent the JK has commonality with anything else, it was the TJ (for mechanicals) or other post-Daimler Chrysler vehicles (for interior and other parts-bin parts).

          • 0 avatar
            Vulpine

            One thing I know for certain about the JKU, it used a Daimler manual transmission, not a Dodge or Ram. It did use the Dodge engines, but I’m still waiting on confirmation of the rest.

          • 0 avatar
            Vulpine

            I admit I’m wrong when I am proven wrong. I will note also that the JKU I purchased was given a lifetime drivetrain warranty (not even counting the 15-year brake warranty that came later.)

          • 0 avatar
            JohnTaurus

            And the Rolls Royce Phantom is directly related to my Taurus. I’ll admit I’m wrong when you prove it.

            One is RWD and the other FWD? Not proof.
            Two entirely different cars? Not proof.
            If you squint really hard after suffering a concussion and holding your hand over one eye, the similarities are uncanny. I don’t have to prove I’m right.

          • 0 avatar
            Vulpine

            But you have to prove I’m wrong.

          • 0 avatar
            Middle-Aged (Ex-Miata) Man

            Vulpine, nowhere throughout the vast repository of knowledge that is the Internet can anyone, including I, find a single trace of evidence to support your claim.

            “It’s right because I say it is, and it’s up to you to prove me wrong” may be enough to get a guy elected president, but I think you’ll find most of the real world disapproves of that kind of attitude.

          • 0 avatar
            Vulpine

            “Vulpine, nowhere throughout the vast repository of knowledge that is the Internet can anyone, including I, find a single trace of evidence to support your claim.”

            — So show me the evidence that refutes that claim. Lack of evidence is not evidence of lack… in either direction.

          • 0 avatar
            Middle-Aged (Ex-Miata) Man

            I guess no one taught you how to surrender gracefully, eh kiddo?

            Seriously, enough. You sound like an ass.

          • 0 avatar
            Vulpine

            I surrender….

            … when the error is proven. I don’t lie down to bullies.

          • 0 avatar
            DenverMike

            Bigfoot lives.

            Now the ball’s in your court… Prove me wrong! Where’s your evidence I’m wrong sir?

            Yep I’m right I win!!!

          • 0 avatar
            Big Al from Oz

            To throw a “spanner” in the works. The JK’s body and chassis is made by ………… you wouldn’t guess …………… HYUNDAI!!!!!!

            “FCA US will continue utilizing that same manufacturing system working with supplier partners to produce the new Jeep truck. Kuka and Hyundai Mobis will remain the suppliers for the body and chassis, respectively.”

            ‘murica!

            https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/fca-us-toledo-supplier-park-builds-last-jeep-wrangler-jk-300638328.html

            So, now does this make the JK a domestic or import?

          • 0 avatar
            Big Al from Oz

            Some interesting reading regarding the JK and JKU.

            https://www.adandp.media/articles/tinkering-with-an-icon-the-%2707-jeep-wrangler

            http://www.carsandracingstuff.com/library/w/wrangler.php

          • 0 avatar
            Middle-Aged (Ex-Miata) Man

            What a baffling hill you’ve chosen to die on, Vulpine.

            Or do you also consider such metaphors to be ‘bullying,’ right along with placing the burden of proof upon one making the claim?

          • 0 avatar
            Vulpine

            I gave my evidence. I even noted that the photos linked are inconclusive since the similarities between the two are so obvious in those two groups of pictures. So far, nobody has irrefutably presented evidence proving that the two are in no way related.

          • 0 avatar
            Vulpine

            Commonalities:

            Same size;
            Same stance;
            Same overall body (barring front clip and rear door)
            Same parent company when the JKU was designed.

            These all suggest they are related–rather closely. Where’s the proof–the incontrovertible proof–that they are not in the least related?

          • 0 avatar
            Vulpine

            Another area of commonality: From Big Al’s link, “That plan also fell apart when Haden closed its doors in February 2006 and Magna Steyr came to the rescue. ” So Magna Steyr, supposed manufacturer of the G-wagen, is also involved in Jeep Wrangler JK production.

      • 0 avatar
        krhodes1

        It could be argued that the G isn’t a Daimler vehicle at all, given it was largely designed and built by Steyr-Puch. It just dips into the Daimler parts bin for a lot of bits and they helped with the design.

        While I agree that there are G-wagens that ARE truly offroaders, this tinsled up turd really isn’t one of them. A G300D with an 80hp diesel and a 5spd with plaid cloth on the seats sure is though. It is HILAROUS that people are willing to pay $140K for what is basically an Austrian Army truck with a big motor in it.

        I agree with you about the X5. It is and always has been a lifted AWD station wagon with no pretense at all of off-road ability. The Range Rover is a lifted station wagon that actually CAN go off-road when fitted with appropriate tires, but I find anything past the P38 just too blingtastic for my taste. My army green stickshift Disco I suits my Calvinist tastes just fine.

    • 0 avatar
      Darkdowgow

      Just google frame pics of a jku and g wagon. Not similar in any way. https://www.google.com/search?q=wrangler+unlimited+frame&safe=off&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS724US724&hl=en-US&prmd=sivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjg0MH6rd_aAhXRwFkKHXrJAOMQ_AUIEigC&biw=414&bih=660#imgrc=wg4WW0SzzrZfUM:

      https://www.google.com/search?q=mb+g+wagon+frame&safe=off&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS724US724&hl=en-US&prmd=sivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjTwursrd_aAhUJrlkKHdFpCAEQ_AUIEigC&biw=414&bih=660#imgrc=-HYPFsOQJ7wSTM:

      • 0 avatar
        Vulpine

        Believe what you will. The frame shots (what few there are) are not conclusive. The body photos show more similarities than not. But if you want to believe they are so totally different, you may.

  • avatar
    IBx1

    Buy the G, drive the Range Rover, burn that hideous blob under the other two.

  • avatar
    Big Al from Oz

    Corey,
    I thought most large BMW and Mercedes Benz SUVs are manufactured in the US? If this is the case, how can they be an import?

    You do receive some imported SUVs, but the majority are made in the Deep South.

    BMW and Mercedes Benz are ‘Murica’s biggest exporters as well. This sort of makes you understand the last few days of articles regarding the US manufacturers and where they might be going wrong.

    • 0 avatar

      The G550 is a German production vehicle, though the BMW is made in SC. Both are imports because of the badge on the front.

      A Buick made in China is still a domestic car, and a Lexus made in Kentucky is still an import car.

      • 0 avatar
        Big Al from Oz

        Confusing.

        • 0 avatar
          deanst

          Confusing …..and wrong. Import or domestic brand maybe….

          • 0 avatar
            Big Al from Oz

            deanst,
            What we call cars, you call trucks as well. I don’t know you could ever call a Highlander or Sorento a truck.

            I really believe it’s the manufacturers using a vehicles description as a work around the EPA. Even a PT Cruiser was a “truck”.

      • 0 avatar
        John Horner

        Welcome to the world of modern marketing BS where the badge on the nose defines the vehicle more than the actual design and manufacturing. In this alternative reality a “Buick” designed and made in China is ‘merican while a “BMW” designed and made in the USA is German.

        Another round of Kool Aide for the house ….

    • 0 avatar
      krhodes1

      A $140K price tag on something that probably costs no more to build than a $60K pickup truck (and I am being very generous – they have barely changed since the 70s), leaves absolutely plenty of margin to absorb the notorious Chicken Tax. Just like Land Rovers and Range Rovers, none of which are built here either. Though I believe they are going to be. You just aren’t going to find any CHEAP trucks being imported from beyond NAFTA-lands.

      • 0 avatar
        TwoBelugas

        Well look at the bright side, the Chicken Tax just leaves more dirt-cheap-to-produce Thai-made Toyotas for Aussies to buy at first world prices. Toyota still wins!

        • 0 avatar
          Big Al from Oz

          TwoBelugas,
          So, where do you live? Most likely under an off ramp on an Interstate.

          Trolling like you do and I’d like to know what other tags you use isn’t nice.

          As a matter of fact, the Thai built Hiluxes are built better than the US Tacos.

          Also, our prices by law must include all taxes etc. So, deduct a 10% GST (similar in use to a State Tax), minus the few grand or so for a diesel and you’ll see our little pickups are quite cheap.

          So, if our better built Hiluxes were sold in the US an SR5 would sell for around $30 000USD in dual cab, 4×4 with a V6. Not bad, eh.

          This doesn’t even include wheeling and dealing, this is just the sticker price.

      • 0 avatar
        DenverMike

        SUVs are classified as “trucks”, but only pickups and cargo vans are subject to the Chicken tax.

  • avatar
    DeadWeight

    Burn both the BMW and Land Rover, but take the extra few minutes of hate to crush the Mercedes total piece of grossly overpriced $hit into a cubic-shaped paperweight to serve as a reminder of human folly.*

    *I follow no rules.

    • 0 avatar
      Big Al from Oz

      I have a soft (hard maybe) spot for BMW and all things German!

    • 0 avatar
      MBella

      You can’t really call the Benz garbage since all it needs is the 22″ dubs swapped for actual wheels and tires designed for the application and you have a vehicle that has no off-road rivals in the world of street legal vehicles. Just because they rappers and soccer moms are willing to pay stupid money for a vehicle that doesn’t serve their needs doesn’t make it worthless for it’s actual purpose.

      • 0 avatar
        krhodes1

        I can call the Americanized version blingtastic overpriced garbage. Because in the old countries they used to sell you one without the bling for about 1/3rd the price ready to do an off-road tour of Africa. Sadly I just looked on the German website and all they offer there anymore are the fashion victim versions for E107K and up. Sheesh. Maybe you can get a real one through the commercial division still?

        But in America we don’t deserve nice things.

        But it is amazing that people will pay $140K to mall crawl in something that is no more comfortable than a $100K cheaper 4dr Wrangle. That most people will think is just as cool! Paris Hilton is NOT taking her G-wagen to Moab anytime soon.

      • 0 avatar
        Big Al from Oz

        MBella,
        I would buy a 70 odd Series Landcruiser for half the money, it’s a vehicle you guys don’t get. Awesome piece of kit here in Australia. It’s midsize’ish come with a V8 turbo diesel and can go anywhere.

        The link below would be the world’s best pickup and it’s not American, it’s German and Mercedes Benz.

  • avatar
    ajla

    Buy the G550 because it will impress strippers and former strippers the most.

    Drive the BMW because it is the fastest.

    Burn the Range Rover because Doug DeMuro and British police Twitter accounts are annoying.

  • avatar
    30-mile fetch

    Oh god. None of these are a remotely long-term buy.

    Burn the BMW. $100K crossover? I don’t car what is under the hood, what rests between the wheels and unibody, it doesn’t matter. Kill it.

    Drive the Range Rover. Apparently they handle surprisingly well for what they are. Drive it angry on the two-lanes to the two-tracks, then see if I can destroy those rubber band tires and alloys off pavement. I’ll put my mountain bike in the back so I can ride it back to civilization.

    Buy the Mercedes. Opening up the bi-turbo V8 on a brick like that would probably never get old. And look at that personality, that’s the real deal right there. People will think you’re rich and that’s important. They might also think you’re a carbon-copy trophy wife who is destined for a middle age riddled by plastic surgery, but you still will be considered to “have arrived”. Am I correct in assuming this holds its value better? Since I’m not a trophy wife that makes a difference here.

    • 0 avatar

      The G is always going to hold value better than the RR, because despite all the luxury the RR is still a disposable item. A G is a thing of hand-craftedness, which has been honed with precision for nearly 40 years.

      I agree with your selections.

      • 0 avatar
        krhodes1

        Expensive to maintain does not mean disposable. If you can afford to buy it you can afford to fix it. It’s still the one I would drive because it is an amazingly special place to be in going down the road.

        Having been in probably more than my share of g-wagons over the years from 70’s to a couple years old, none of them have exactly had lovely build quality – remember – Mercedes doesn’t build these, Magna-Steyr does. Durable yes, but in a hewn from a chunk of wood with an ax sort of way. And I doubt the modern Mercedes mechanicals and electronics are going to be any more reliable than the Range Rover over the long haul. An ’82 G300D this is not anymore. I would still buy it, but only for the better residuals due to the badge and long ago reputation.

        Kill the X5 with fire – if you want to go fast, get an M2, 3, or 5. Horses for courses. This is just stupid, even if it was never, ever intended to be an offroader anyway.

    • 0 avatar
      FreedMike

      “Opening up the bi-turbo V8 on a brick like that would probably never get old.”

      I have driven one of these, and the only way it never gets old is if you like watching your life flash before your eyes.

  • avatar

    PS. I realize the AMG G63 starts at $142,000, but all the option packages are $20,000 or more. It seemed like the standard G550 with many options was the correct selection at this price level.

  • avatar
    Fred

    OK I’m rich what do a I care about value. I’m not getting the MB because it’s ugly. I’ll lease and pick one of the others. Wouldn’t really matter, because I’m going to get a new car every year. I’m rich sucker!

  • avatar
    mjg82

    Buy: Range Rover. I don’t know if anyone will agree, but I’d never buy any of these cars even with the means, so the risks associated don’t really matter. Anything in this category would be leased anyhow.

    Drive: BMW. I’m sure it’d be relatively fun to toss around. Relatively being the key word.

    Burn: The Benz. I’ve never been able to get on board with it’s styling, tin doors or douchebag factor.

  • avatar
    Dan

    Range Rover is this generation’s S-Class. It’s a big car with presence, it’s shockingly expensive with no peon trims to dilute the exclusivity, and it’s shockingly nice on its own merits. Most shocking of all is how few other manufacturers have figured this formula out. The .1% have the world by the balls like never before, where are their chariots?

    The BMW Highlander isn’t a high end vehicle at all and no amount of horsepowers will turn it into one.

    The Mercedes is just plain vulgar and they should all be crushed along with their owners.

  • avatar
    S2k Chris

    Buy (Lease): Range Rover, but I don’t need the fancy autobiography, the regular supercharged will do. Lease it to avoid epic depreciation and mechanical struggles. The only choice that’s palatable.

    Drive (preferably off road): Gwagon. Cool, but I’m neither a Kardashian nor a RAV (Russians, Arabs, Villains) so this isn’t the ride for me.

    Burn: X5. I drove an x5 at a BMW ride and drive and was stunned at how average/crappy this thing felt for its price point, and that was the non-M. Feels like a car designed in 2008, not 2018.

  • avatar
    Lightspeed

    Burn them all, there’s only one real SUV – 4Runner.

  • avatar
    Tstag

    The best car here is clearly the Range Rover, it’s brilliant on and off the road and luxurious. The Mercedes is I’m sure great off road but is rubbish at literally everything else. The BMW may be fast but has nothing else going for it.

    The problem with the Mercedes is that Land Rover will launch the Defender within the next 12 months in all world markets. And trust me it will trounce everything. I know one of the guys on the development team who’s told me it’s the most capable vehicle ever made by the company. It only has one issue in his mind and that is it’s a bit wide. The reason it will totally kill the Mercedes? The Mercedes is basically stuck in the last century. The new Defender is going to come loaded with off-road tech that no ones thought of yet and it’s wading depth will blow everything else out the water. It can go so deep they’ve even equipped it with Sonar.

  • avatar
    sportyaccordy

    Buy- BMW; I don’t give a (expletive) about offroading.

    Drive- Range Rover on a date night.

    Burn- G Wagon. A leather lined Wrangler Trackhawk.

  • avatar
    05lgt

    What a strange game. The only winning move…

    • 0 avatar
      krhodes1

      If you have the wherewithal to realistically consider any one of these, it is going to be merely one in a fleet of vehicles in your garage. So reliability and resale value are likely FAR down on you list of priorities.

      • 0 avatar
        05lgt

        None of these makes my “unlimited funds” fleet. I have room for a modified Wrangler, Raptor, AMG wagon, Bugatti … but none of these ugly, crass, all badge no cattle, heaps.

  • avatar
    Lou_BC

    No mention of the Mercedes G 500 4×4² or the G 63 AMG 6×6?

    I’d buy the Mercedes for off-road. Drive the BMW since it is a street rig and burn the Range Rover.

  • avatar
    dal20402

    This is easy.

    Buy: Autobiography. It is THE vehicle to have in this city. I believe it brings more social cred around here than any exotic.
    Drive: X5 M. Preferably on a track until I wear out the tires. It’s kind of useless on the street.
    Burn: G Class. It’s an ugly anachronism, even after the redesign.

  • avatar
    FreedMike

    Buy the Land Rover. If you’re going to be a baller wannabe, go all the way.
    Drive the BMW.
    Give the G-wagen the full Salem Witch Trial / Joan of Arc treatment. I don’t care how good it is off road, becuase I don’t go off road. If I did, I’d pick up a Wrangler, and spend the leftover 110 grand on a E63 AMG, which will not feel like it’s ready to tip over when I round the corner into the parking lot at Nordstrom. I’ve driven a LOT of cars over the years, and the G-wagen is the only one that felt like it was trying to kill me. BURN IT.

  • avatar
    Mike_H

    Burn all three and buy a restored Jeep Wagoneer with a Chevy crate motor and upgraded brakes and suspension.

  • avatar
    Carlson Fan

    Wonder how well any of these would be holding up if they had rolled mile for mile with my Chevy LTZ Tahoe for the last 11 years. That’s all the luxury I need and the ‘Hoe is better looking. Plus I’m not afraid to take it out of the security of the twin cities metropolitan area, because I know it will always get me back home!

  • avatar
    Big Al from Oz

    Here are some cars of yore and they were called CARS, not CUVs or SUVs. Nowadays they would be called trucks.

    Maybe TTAC should lobby the US Government and redefine what is a car vs a truck (while you’re at it also understand any product made in the USA is American, not Japanese, Chinese, German or whatever).

    Nice looking Woody, a car that could be a SUV today.

    http://panamacityliving.com/piece-history-generations-plymouth-special-deluxe-woodie-station-wagon/

    https://www.allpar.com/old/buyers-guide/ply-1940s.html

    https://www.conceptcarz.com/view/photo/417063,17280/1950-Nash-Rambler_photo.aspx

    Even the Aussies made “trucks” in the 50s.

    https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:1956_Holden_FJ_station_wagon_(9596109797).jpg

  • avatar

    I’ll bite. As possibly one of the only posters who actually owns one of these vehicles I’ll make a comment.

    I have a 2011 X5m. Frankly I hate suvs (slow useless vehicles) for clogging the left lanes not looking out their mirrors on their phones holding up traffic. Never wanted to own one of these gas guzzling, poor handling, but somehow popular vehicles.

    My daily driver is a modified bmw 335d yes the diesel. Which is still better to drive then the x5m.

    The reason I purchased a used x5m, frankly it was the 1st suv I actually enjoyed driving, and it makes an excellent tow vehicle. Much better than my relatives 2018 ecboost f150, less sway, better brakes, better ride while towing….

    So yeah for an suv these vehicles are pretty good, but buy them used, with an extended warranty? They depreciate like crazy after the factory warranty is up and if you handy with a wrench, they are much better than owning a new Kia suv thing for the same money

  • avatar
    JohnTaurus

    Buy the Mercedes. Swap the wheels for something with off-road ability.

    Drive the Range Rover, its okay.

    That leaves the BMW to burn.

    Although, I really could go either way on the last two.

  • avatar
    tonyola

    Since I don’t have much interest in hardcore off-roading, the choice for me is pretty easy:

    Buy the BMW because it’s probably the best on-road drive of the bunch.

    Drive the Rover because it oozes exclusivity and luxury and I wouldn’t have to pay the repair bills.

    Burn the Mercedes because even with tons of leather, wood, and horsepower, there’s only so much you can do to jazz up a 39-year-old military truck.

  • avatar
    cardave5150

    First, let’s completely give up the premise that off-road abilities matter one single iota in the land of $140,000 blingtastic estate cara. The closest these go to “off-road” is slowly crawling down a perfectly manicured trail to the horse stables, or driving over a dandelion growing next to the curb that the driver slows to .5-mph to crawl over. That’s it. These are glorified estate cars, showing the masses how March a person can over-spend for a vehicle. That said:

    Buy: X5 – great on-road behavior, not too ostentatious (I didn’t even realize you could spec an X5 into that stratosphere)

    Drive: Range Rover – I’d probably buy this if it weren’t for the horror stories I’ve heard from associates about ridiculously-engineered systems and crazy-high repair costs on these.

    Burn: The G-Wagen – there’s a 25-yr old blond nitwit who lives down the street from me that drives one of these (provided from a semi-questionable used-car dealer where her fiancée picked it up for her). She looks like either a Mafia princess or a hooker driving around in that ridiculous thing, which made me realize that I’ve never seen anybody actually look classy behind the wheel of one of these. Burn burn burn.

    • 0 avatar
      JohnTaurus

      If you remove off-road driving from the equation, then the choices become much easier.

      But, if I had $140k to throw away on a utility, I’m the kinda guy who would also own lots of remote property where I may roam for no other purpose than because I want to. To make the Mercedes ready for this would be easy. To make the Range Rover ready wouldn’t take a lot either, but to make the BMW ready, it would require going to the dealership and trading it for something that is ready.

      This series is, above all, experimenting in fantasy. Most of us don’t have the means to consider these vehicles. Most of us don’t care or have the time/money for an old Japanese oddball luxury car or whatever else Corey (and we B&B) come up with. Its not based in reality. Its an exercise in “what if?”.

      So, in case of these vehicles, why not fantasize that you have the means to do with them what you please? If the idea of hurtling a tall, heavy wagon around a race track at an absurd speed sets your heart aglow, the BMW is your Ultimate Soccer Dad/mom Machine. If venturing off the beaten path is more your thing, the Benz simply winz. If your desires are somewhere in between, the Range offers the range you seek. That’s the point, not what *other* people do or don’t do with them, its what you’d like to do with them.

  • avatar
    Dutcowski

    Buy the G and grant it Jurassic World decals. Say it was all of a fleeting safari car in the franchise – proof of a true off roadee…

    Drive the BMW cause you know you’ll be on road.

    Burn the Rang, rebooted limey-gandu junk from Leyland for horse racing crowd.

  • avatar
    brn

    I can’t relate to >$100K SUVs.

    Buy: none
    Drive: The Mercedes. It’s unique and I’m curious.
    Burn: whatever

  • avatar
    Hydromatic

    Honestly, I’d burn all three and buy a new Toyota Land Cruiser.

  • avatar
    dantes_inferno

    Burn them ALL. Kill them with fire. And that includes the Toyota Land Bruiser.

  • avatar
    MercedesDieselGuy72

    Buy: G550 – Resale, looks, ability. (Disclaimer: I used to own a 2002 G500. NOT a good year, or truck… many issues…)

    Drive: Range Rover. Assuming you’re under warranty.

    Burn: X5. Meh.

  • avatar
    DEVILLE88

    Burn em all, give me an Escalade or a Suburban.


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