By on May 10, 2017

Sales situation in a car dealership, the dealer is handing auto keys to a young couple, they are excited, cars standing in the background, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

You’re all too familiar with that image, aren’t you? She’s laughing hysterically or having some sort of crisis.  Her male friend, hand outstretched to receive his car key, looks on in amazement at her awkward and overblown reaction within this sales situation. They are The Couple, and they are stock image gold.

Want more of them? You got it.

You see, TTAC has not had access to a stock imagery supplier, but those dark times are behind us. Now, you can look forward to all sorts of images in our articles featuring happy, multi-ethnic people wearing non-branded clothing, doing inoffensive things in a general and widely applicable and acceptable way.

This Picture Time comes with a challenge: it’s up to you to write The Couple’s Car Purchase Story. We’ve arranged all collective images of this couple and their visit to the dealer in chronological order (or best interpretation of one). So have a look, and get writing!

Sales situation in a car dealership, the dealer is talking to a young couple, there are cars standing in the background, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the dealer is talking to a young couple, there are cars standing in the background, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the dealer is talking to a young couple, there are cars standing in the background, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the dealer is talking to a young couple, there are cars standing in the background, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the dealer is handing auto keys to a young couple, they are excited, cars standing in the background, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the young couple is giving the credit card to pay for the new car, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the young couple is signing the sales contract and gets the key for the new car, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the young couple is signing the sales contract and gets the key for the new car, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the young couple gets the key for the new car, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the young couple is signing the sales contract to get the new car in the background, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the young couple is signing the sales contract to get the new car in the background, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the dealer is shaking hands with a young couple, they want the car in the background, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the dealer is handing auto keys to a young couple, they are excited, cars standing in the background, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

Sales situation in a car dealership, the dealer is handing auto keys to a young couple, they are excited, cars standing in the background, Image: Kzenon/Bigstock.com

[Images: Kzenon/Bigstock.com]

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80 Comments on “Picture Time: The Couple Really Needs Your Help...”


  • avatar
    30-mile fetch

    Corey, just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

  • avatar
    brawnychicken333

    All those keys being handed over. Are we sure they’re actually buying a car? Maybe they’re swingers.

  • avatar
    jkross22

    I hate them more now than I did yesterday.

  • avatar
    brettc

    I’m not a writer plus I actually have stuff to do at my new job, but I will eagerly await some good stories from the awesome stock images.

  • avatar
    bryanska

    Jesus, lookit that Kohl’s suit straight from the third-tier “helper” at your grandpa’s funeral.

  • avatar
    dukeisduke

    He keeps dangling those keys – WTF?

  • avatar
    deanst

    From the looks in the male customer’s eyes it is apparent that his priority is neither his female companion nor the car. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)

    • 0 avatar

      Fascinating to see how the images are interpreted – especially in the light of the fact that these are all posed images possibly directed by the person responsible for the production of the images themselves.

      In many of the photos where the male customer is looking at the “salesman”, the “salesman” appears to be speaking; hence the attention and expression that is present in the customer’s expression. In the lead image, I “see” that the “salesman” is smiling also. I interpret that as he just cracked a joke/said something funny, hence the woman’s reaction of laughter.

      As I said, interesting how we interpret something without being there or hearing the “conversation” that was supposedly taking place. It probably says more about our mindset than what was intended by the images themselves.

  • avatar
    dukeisduke

    Quick, what kind of dealership is that? Nissan? These are real people – I wonder if a Google image search could turn up Facebook or LinkedIn pages?

  • avatar
    MrGreenMan

    What car dealership lets you use a credit card for the purchase of the vehicle? Why does he even present that?

    Hopefully this stock photo gallery has a collection of shibari images to fill in the missing trip to the finance office.

    • 0 avatar
      deanst

      I tried to put down a $10,000 deposit via credit card to collect the GM points. The dealer won’t go higher than $3,000.

    • 0 avatar
      srh

      Many dealerships let you put part of the purchase price on a credit card. The local Subaru dealer, from whom I’ve bought 6 cars in the last 10 years, lets me put $5K on a credit card each time. Obviously I max that out, as the 2.25% cash back shaves $112.50 off the final price!

    • 0 avatar
      I_like_stuff

      “What car dealership lets you use a credit card for the purchase of the vehicle? Why does he even present that?”

      I paid part of a purchase with a cc last time I bought a car at a dealer. Max they would do was $3K, but I get a 1% cash-back so what the hell, $30 to me vs writing a check for that $3K.

    • 0 avatar
      Detroit-Iron

      Although it does not contribute to the humor of the images, I did use my credit card for the max allowable at the dealership when I bought my last car to get the points. I think it was $3k or $4k.

    • 0 avatar

      Amex keeps a list of dealerships that will let buyers pay for the entire cost of a car with their card.

      https://amexnetwork.truecar.com/promo1.html?promo_id=content-viewer-carpurchase

  • avatar
    Master Baiter

    Something’s horribly wrong: All the models are white.
    .
    .

    • 0 avatar
      Lou_BC

      “Something’s horribly wrong: All the models are white.”

      Not if you happen to be alt-right.

      • 0 avatar
        JimC2

        Sir, this is a post-racial TTAC. All I see is three goofy looking models.

      • 0 avatar
        markf

        Is your entire life consumed by politics, Trump and the non-existent “alt right” Is it possible for you to comment without dragging you twisted Left wing ideology into EVERY discussion?

        Give it a rest, you are f***ing bore and it is tiresome

        • 0 avatar
          bryanska

          I thought twisted ideologies were part of the appeal for you.

        • 0 avatar
          Lou_BC

          markf – Your first Amendment guarantees free speech. My Country’s Charter of Rights protects it too.

          “non-existent “alt right”

          “The alt-right, or alternative right, is a loose group of people with right-wing to far-right ideologies who reject mainstream conservatism, principally in the United States, but also to a lesser degree in Canada and Europe.White supremacist Richard Spencer appropriated the term in 2010 to define a movement centered on white nationalism, and has been accused by some media publications of doing so to whitewash overt racism, white supremacism, and neo-Nazism.”

          Looks like you suffer from “TRUTH DERANGEMENT SYNDROME.”

    • 0 avatar
      brn

      I don’t see color, so I have no idea if you’re correct.

  • avatar
    dont.fit.in.cars

    Note: Nothing personal…if a salesman has gelled slicked back hair and a suit, I won’t buy from him.

  • avatar
    arach

    The last one is:

    What the heck did my husband just do? He bought a car with a KEY? like a standard KEY?

    Those were obsolete in like 2008.

    WHAT CAR COMES WITH A KEY NOW DAYS.

    He gets the car… but I’ll get the divorce… and find a real man.

  • avatar
    bumpy ii

    I’m going to flip the script:

    “Hello Daniel! I’m Brielle and this is Quinton. We’ll be your Tesla concierges for today.”

    “Let me do my Marlon Brando impression. I crack them all up back at the office.”

    “This is the key to my Bimmer.”

    “American Express Platinum? Nice.”

    “These are the keys to my other Bimmer, and the Audi.”

    “If you would autograph the Tesla test drive log book here…”

    “Congratulations, welcome to our new electric future!”

    “You’re wonderful people. Here, take a spin in the Maserati. My treat.”

  • avatar
    Lou_BC

    She looks like my wife’s best friend. The one in the white. Just to clarify.

  • avatar
    -Nate

    This is going to be *very* entertaining ! =8-) .
    .
    -Nate

  • avatar
    Big Wheel

    “Dr. Crabspirits. Paging Dr. Crabspirits. You are needed in the OR, stat.”

    Can somebody please find Crabspirits?! This is right up his alley after his spectacular work with the Last Rides series (the Yugo article was priceless).

  • avatar
    KevinC

    What kind of modern douchenozzle wears a Fruit-o-the-Loom® T-shirt under a suit jacket? Even if the suit came from Kohl’s? That’s one confident fashion decision.

  • avatar
    JimC2

    I haven’t even had my coffee yet this morning…

  • avatar
    doublechili

    IDK about the rest, but the last 6 pics might go kind of like this:

    Salesman: We have a special offer now on our ArmorShield interior protection – it’s usually $799 but right now it’s only $499 – we can have that done while you wait.

    Male customer: I don’t think so. Hey! Why did you pour the coffee on my jacket?!

    Salesman: Here, take your jacket off and I’ll spray it with some ArmorShield cleaner.

    [a few minutes later] Male customer: Wow, that really worked. Okay, we’ll take the ArmorShield.

    Salesman: Great, sign here. And here. Congratulations, you’re protected, let’s shake on it. Now put your jacket back on. Here’s a key, and by the way, that was really just Formula 409 that I sprayed on your jacket.

    Girlfriend laughs hysterically.

    Salesman: Here’s another key – that makes six keys. Now beat it.

  • avatar
    SCE to AUX

    Their car is being repossessed at the dealership.

    The keys are going to the repo man.

    Everybody’s happy because they’re now debt-free, and will pay cash for a used 2012 Fiat 500.

  • avatar
    Lou_BC

    “Hi Anna. This is Seth. I need your help. I’m such a pushover, I need your support.”

    Anna, “You broke up with Kieran again?”

    “NO! What makes you think it was that? Who have you been talking to?”

    “Calm down there, Seth. You are such a drama queen.”

    “Sorry Anastasia, I can be, can’t I?”

    “Anna, I’m going to buy a new car.”

    Anna mutters to herself, “I’d rather hear him whine about Kieran.”

    They go to the dealership and as they walk in the first personal product adviser that they see makes eye contact.

    Anna says, “oh sh!t, he looks like Kieran.”
    Seth, “he’s dreamy”
    Anna, “if you like grease and wimpy goatee’s”.
    Seth, “ooohhh, stop IT, I love how goatees tickle.”

    Anna, “Urppp”

    “Hello. I’m Dirk. May I assist you by offering my service as a personal product advisor? ”
    Seth whispers to Anna, ” I told you Cadillac was cool”
    Anna, “puuuleeezzze, I just ate lunch.”

    Dirk takes them to a few vehicles and then hands him a set of keys.
    Seth, “I’m not sure I want to test drive a XTS.”

    Dirk, “those are my keys, “We Dare Greatly!”
    Seth holds out his hand but Anna intervenes.
    Both men laugh, Anna feels a bit green.

    “BACK TO CARS PLEASE”, Anna says firmly.

    They discuss the XT5 Cross-Over.
    Seth says, “I must have back seat room for Spenser and Cameron.”
    Dirk looks crushed, “Spenser and Cameron?”
    Seth, “yes, my two labradoodles. The breeder said they’d be small but they are huge.
    Dirk perks up.
    “Yes, plenty of back seat room.” Dirk smiles wistfully.

    Dirk, “We will fill out the paperwork for a test drive. i need ID, a credit card for liability and please fill out this form.”

    Seth squeals, “I’m so excited.”
    Dirk, “Me too.”
    Anna rolls eyes, “do I need to spray water on you two?”
    Seth, “is it me or is it HOT in here?” as he takes off his coat.

    Anna thinks to herself, “He’s done. Showing off the little pythons. I got bigger biceps than him.”
    Seth looks over at Anna and reads her mind. She laughs as he puts his coat back on.

    “Lets go test that big bad XT5”, says Dirk.

    Seth, “Is that what you call it?”

    They all laugh.

  • avatar
    cgjeep

    Those aren’t car keys, they are swingers.

  • avatar
    dividebytube

    I see nothing but patriarchy! ;)

    Seriously when i go to the car dealership with my wife, she does most of the haggling. She’s an attorney and loves it.

  • avatar
    NotFast

    Where is Crabspirits?! I’ve love to read his rendition!

  • avatar
    Rick T.

    Looks to me like it starts off with the couple being surprised that they can roll over their negative equity in their current car and get a new car with a 500 FICO score.

  • avatar
    FreedMike

    The models in this photo shoot took their $97.51 in earnings and blew it all on Starbucks and hair product.

  • avatar
    Fonzy

    Pic 1 – Hey, I really want a CLA to impress my friends and family, but I only make $30K a year. I’ll let you have a night with my wife for $299 a month lease.

    Pic 2 – Woah….Slow down buddy. I can’t do $299, but might be able to do $350. I think your wife likes my hair.

    Pic 3 – Wife to salesman – What kind of product do you use in your hair? You look like you work out.

    Pic 4 – Husband – Her hair is a little flat and she laughs really weird, but she makes up for it with her effort.

    Pic 5 – Eh, I dunno…. This is what the key looks like. Guy holds hand out. Salesman says “sike”

    Pic 6 – I could charge it to the game bruh.

    Then they get approved for a 72 month loan at 20% interest.

  • avatar
    7402

    They’re not car shopping. The “key” is a remote control for an adult toy. The salesman demonstrates its effectiveness (witness her facial contortions through to the When-Harry-Met-Sally finale). Convinced, hubby decides to spring for the purchase and signs a long contract with lots of disclaimers about how the toy is not appropriate for in-car use even if said car is equipped with Bluetooth.

  • avatar

    PIC 1 –

    Salesman thinks: ‘Mimic the customer/The wife holds the purse string/Mimic the customer/The wife always holds the purse strings’ and ‘Make sure to look the man in the eye/Don’t stare too hard at the wife/Make sure to look the man in the eye/Don’t stare too hard at the wife’

    Her: “My husband’s not too bright, but he sure is pretty. We need a fast car to look good on Friday nights.”

    Him thinking: ‘If I raise my eyebrows like so and lean my head forward ever so slightly it really makes my jaw look amazing. God I’m pretty.”

    ——–

    PIC 2 –

    Her: “He really isn’t bright. Go ahead. Ask him a question.”
    Salesman: “Ok. What’s your name, bud?”
    Her: “See? He can’t really answer you, but you’ll notice he’s cocked his head slightly – just like a puppy – to try and understand what you just said.”

    —–

    PIC 3 –

    Her: “OK. We’re looking to stay under $50,000. Something my husband will look really good in.”
    Salesman thinks: The wife is talking to me. Don’t stare at her tits/Mimic the customer/The wife holds the purse strings/Don’t stare at her tits/Mimic the customer/The wife holds the purse strings’
    Salesman says, “We can do that. Is…is your husband okay?”
    Him thinking: ‘Maybe if I smile that will make them like me more.’
    Her: “Oh yeah, go ahead – tell him a joke. He likes jokes.”

    —–

    PIC 4 –

    Salesman: “A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, ‘Why the long face?’”
    Woman thinks: ‘Oh my god he just said that. Smile and laugh like usual.
    Woman says: “That was funny. Can we take a test drive.”
    Man thinks: ‘I see what you did there, Mr. Salesman. Very witty.’

    —–

    PIC 5 –

    Salesman: “Here are the keys. Let’s go for that test drive.”
    Her: “Put your hand out, honey. The nice salesman is trying to give you keys.”
    Him: “Kkkkkeeeeyyyyyyssssss.”

    — Goes for test drive –

    —–

    PIC 6 –

    — Back from test drive —

    Her: “That test drive was a-mazing. Honey, give the salesman our credit card for the down payment.”
    Him: “This is a credit card.”
    Salesman thinking: ‘I hope they won’t notice my trying to turn off this monitor so they don’t see the donkey porn I was just watching. Aaaaaaaaand there. Got it.
    Salesman: “Let me process that down payment for you.”

    —–

    PIC –

    Her: “There you go, dear. You can do it. You can sign your name. Who’s a good boy!”
    Him: I’m a good boy!”
    Salesman: “Here are the keys? Psych! No, really. Here are the keys. Psych!”

    —–

    PIC 8-

    Her: “You better give me the keys.”
    Him thinking: ‘Sign name good. Who’s a good boy? I’M a good boy!’
    Salesman: “Here are the keys? Psych! No, really. Here are the keys. Psych!”

    —–

    PIC 9 –

    Salesman: “Here are the keys? Psych! No, really. Here are the keys. Psych!”
    Him thinking, ‘I really like this game!”
    Her thinking: ‘You motherfucker. I just want the keys. Stop taunting my husband. Okay, you wanna play, Mr. Salesman? Let’s play.”

    —–

    PIC 10 –

    Her: “Let’s have my husband practice signing his name again!”
    Husband let’s out an excited woof and starts wagging his backside.
    Salesman: “But I gotta go take care of other custo– “
    Her: “Oooooooh. Well done, love. That’s a GREAT signature!”
    Him: “Sign name good.”

    —–

    PIC 11

    Her: “I’m so proud of you! You’re almost ready for cursive!”
    Him: “Sign name good.”
    Salesman thinking: ‘Motherfucker. I got an up to get down on over there.”

    —–

    PIC 12 –

    Salesman: “You did a great job signing your name! Let me shake that hand!”
    Her: “Shake like a good boy, dear.”
    Him: “Woof!”

    —–

    PIC 13 –

    Salesman: “Here are the keys? Psych! No, really. Here are the keys. Psych!”
    Her thinking: ‘Ha! He fell for it again.’
    Him thinking: ‘Who’s a good boy?”

    —–

    PIC 14 –

    Him: “I’M a good boy.”
    Her thinking: ‘Give me the god damn key!”
    Salesman: “Here are the keys? Psych! No, really. Here are the keys. Psych!”

  • avatar
    loner

    Wow, y’all are making fun of the short guy’s suit, but at least it kinda fits. The sales guy looks like he bought his suit off the Big’n’Tall clearance rack about 20 minutes prior to the photo shoot.

    Anyway, the real story behind this series of pictures is that this lady has some sort of kinky fetish for keys being handed over. If there is any doubt of this, please see the first photo (which was actually the last photo taken – the climax of this event, if you will). The sales guy, who looks like a grade B porn star, obviously knows how to please a woman.

  • avatar
    28-Cars-Later

    You pick today to do this. To-day.

    I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your weapon! Strike me down with all your hatred, and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!

    Homer no function beer well without.

  • avatar
    28-Cars-Later

    Pic1: You see, the company is called Herbalife…
    Pic2: I’m sorry I was just lost in your eyes.
    Pic3: So is this is your first time consulting a plastic surgeon?
    Pic4: “Thinking while fake laughing* Did he just make a joke about one armed children going to a gymnastics tournament?
    Pic5: Here is the key to the MY87 Brunette, just take her for a test ride out back in our parking lot.
    Pic6: Sir, is that a Dave and Buster’s Power Card card?
    Pic7: Whats this about how my unused portions of my soul may be returned at the discretion of the shift demon?
    Pic8: I’m sorry I did it again, your gaze is piercing my sold soul.
    Pic9: Thanks for coming in, this keychain also doubles as a bean bag; if you’re into that sort of thing sir.
    Pic10: You can blame people and situations for your misery, hunger, deprivation and illness, but you are the only person can be blamed for your illiteracy.
    Pic11: MAN: A is for Apple. WOMAN: very good honey!
    Pic12: So what are you doing later?

  • avatar
    FAHRVERGNUGEN

    Him 1: “I’ll drive what she’s driving”.

    Him 2: “But she just rearended a minivan”.

    Him 1: “Oh, you just SLAY me.”

  • avatar
    Caboose

    I was SO into her until I saw the Jelly flats.

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