Doug Drives: What the Hell Are Old People Supposed to Buy?
When I was a kid, there was a plentiful selection of automobile choices for old people. There were Buicks. There were Cadillacs. There were Lincolns. There were Oldsmobiles. There were even a few Japanese cars that clearly catered to the elderly. “Enlarged Speedometer Font” was an actual option on more than one vehicle when I was younger.
But what about today?
I started thinking about this the other day when I got up behind a 2000-ish Cadillac Deville. This was a great old person car: huge digital speedometer, front bench seat, and giant brake lights that remind you that there’s an old person in front of you, so by God you should be careful. Those brake lights were amazing. They could’ve illuminated your entire home in the event of a power outage.
Well, the Deville is gone, and it’s been replaced by the XTS, which is this advanced new car that has kind of given up on all of the traits that made the Deville so popular with the elderly. The bench seat is gone. The cushy ride is gone. The easy-to-use radio with the huge buttons is gone, replaced instead by confusing CUE and capacitive touch. And there’s even a Vsport model, which has 410 horsepower and a twin-turbocharged engine. This does not scream elderly friendly.
So where have the “old person cars” gone?
Buick certainly isn’t in the old person game anymore. Oh, sure, they still have the LaCrosse — but it’s becoming more and more aggressive and bold with each passing redesign. It’s their flagship model, they treat it like such, and now the majority of them have IntelliLink, somewhat sporty suspension, and lots of high-tech features. The days of the column shifter and the bench seat are long gone.
Lincoln has the MKZ, which I personally find to be absolutely beautiful. But it too isn’t really an old person car. MyFord Touch, transmission buttons, and up to 300 horsepower don’t really scream “elderly car” to me. Admittedly, the ride is still pretty cushy, so maybe it’s about the closest thing you can now get to an old person car.
Even Lexus seems to be abandoning the idea of a car for the elderly. This brand is all about performance now: they have big grilles and big power and a coupe (and now another coupe), and the NX, which is a compact SUV that looks like a cubist painting come to life. They also have that remote touch controller, whose sole purpose — I swear — is to lower their average buyer age by deliberately confusing the elderly.
The simple truth is that if you’re an old person choosing a car today, it just isn’t as easy as it was a decade ago. Car companies are now obsessed with chasing younger buyers: they sponsor events that attract young people, they advertise in media aimed at young people, they style their cars to appeal to younger buyers, and they pack vehicles with technology designed for young users. Quite simply: car companies have seemingly become so scared of getting the reputation of being a “brand for old people” that they’re now actively eschewing older buyers in favor of younger ones.
So if you’re an old person, what do you buy?
The older people I know seem to be gravitating away from traditional “old person” brands — Buick, Cadillac, Lincoln — and into basic versions of mainstream cars. The Hyundai Sonata has a nice ride, a big interior, and controls that aren’t especially difficult to use. Same goes for the Toyota Camry. Same doesn’t go for the Honda Accord, which has two infotainment screens that make things a little more challenging for even a regularly-aged human.
They’re also getting into SUVs. But once again, it isn’t the “old person brand” SUVs, like the Cadillac SRX or Buick Enclave. They’re buying Nissan Rogues, Toyota RAV4s and Ford Escapes. They’re buying easy-to-use vehicles that are easy to get in and out of, and they seem to be doing OK. But you have to wonder: do old people long for the days when they knew Cadillac was making cars specifically for them?
If I were a modern old person, I would be very displeased by the development of formerly elderly friendly luxury brands into youth-obsessed Fortunately, there is one silver lining; one car that will always remain elderly-friendly, as long as it continues to exist: the Toyota Avalon. The Avalon is like the social security of automobiles: it’s always going to be there, in some form or another, as long as there are still old people who need it. It’s the modern day Cadillac Deville.
If only it had those taillights.
More by Doug DeMuro
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You've got AWD in a Panther? Small, easy to park? I don't think so. Prior to the Jag, my Mom drove a Crown Vic. Ok in the summer, she hated it in the winter. Even with winter tires and a LSD, it was a pig to drive. There was lots of times she couldn't get up the drive to their house when it was icy and had to leave the car on the street and walk up. Never a problem with the Jag, it can always make it up to the garage.
You Hit the nail on the head with the 2000ish Cadillac Deville being old age appropriate. I am 67 yrs and 10 to 15 yrs ago, as I entered my 50s, I bought a 2002 Cadillac Deville. A couple of years earlier, my boss, also in her 50s, bought the 2000 Deville with the new, at that time, night vision. My boss's mother, in her late 70s soon purchased the 2003 Cadillac, you guessed it, Deville. Just for good measure, my cousin my age also drove a 2001 Cadillac Deville. Now 12 to 15 yrs later, due to deaths and vehicle sales of my boss her mother, and my cousin, my 2002 Deville is the last man standing, albeit barely. I presently own and drive a 2003 Nissan Altima SR 3.2 V6. However, I could not bring myself to trade or sell the Deville and have used it as a backup when necessary. My trusted Deville was recently stolen and recovered with a post shaped ripple in the passenger side between the front wheel and passenger door. one possibility is that a probably youthful unauthorized driver thief, while making a right turn, underestimated the length of the Cadillac Deville. I will soon sell it for salvage or whatever and my days of the Cadillac Deville will be over. Say what you want though, the Northstar engine provided plenty of acceleration and pep to many and old bone. I recently purchased for my granddaughter's 21st birthday a very used (73,000 miles) 2010 Audi Q5 Prestige which she and myself love. After the rare permissions to drive her Audi, my next old person vehicle has got to be a 2005 or 2006 Audi A8 W12. Surely this Transporter 2 luxury beast will get close to my price range within 2 to 3 yrs.