New Lamborghini Explicitly Targets The Friendless Wealthy

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth

Fresh from displaying the Venereal at the Geneva show and announcing that it, would, in fact, be building the Anus SUV, Lamborghini has now released a very special car that is likely targeted at a very, ahem, special person.

The Lamborghini Egoista concept takes one of the uncomfortable truths of supercars — the passenger seat is usually either empty or occupied by a prostitute — and makes that truth something awesome! By eliminating that inconvenient extra bucket entirely, the Egoista makes solitude pleasantly mandatory. “Oh,” the Egoista owner could say, “a lot of people want to ride around with me in this ridiculous contraption. But, of course, there’s only the one seat!” This car could do wonders for our current trading deficit with Estonia.

The balance of trade with Italy, on the other hand, is likely to be significantly tilted in the other direction. Pricing for the Egoista, should they actually build the thing, could reach four million dollars. That’s a lot of cash for something that looks suspiciously like a rejected design for one of those Hot Wheels that nobody ever buys because it isn’t based on a real car. Power will come from an engine of some sort and the Egoista is expected to easily match the average Vortech-blown Fox Mustang notchback on drag slicks in the quarter-mile while delivering slightly worse fuel economy.

Who’s going to buy it? Well, does anybody know a fellow who is worth a few billion dollars but who is extremely uncomfortable around women and/or male friends? Hell, there are a few people like that. Lamborghini might not be able to keep this thing in stock.

Jack Baruth
Jack Baruth

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  • Demetri Demetri on May 14, 2013

    It's probably been 4 years since I last carried a passenger, but even I would still want the passenger seat there, just to place cargo on.

  • Slow kills Slow kills on May 14, 2013

    "Power will come from an engine of some sort and the Egoista is expected to easily match the average Vortech-blown Fox Mustang notchback on drag slicks in the quarter-mile while delivering slightly worse fuel economy." Quoted for truth!

  • CanadaCraig You can just imagine how quickly the tires are going to wear out on a 5,800 lbs AWD 2024 Dodge Charger.
  • Luke42 I tried FSD for a month in December 2022 on my Model Y and wasn’t impressed.The building-blocks were amazing but sum of the all of those amazing parts was about as useful as Honda Sensing in terms of reducing the driver’s workload.I have a list of fixes I need to see in Autopilot before I blow another $200 renting FSD. But I will try it for free for a month.I would love it if FSD v12 lived up to the hype and my mind were changed. But I have no reason to believe I might be wrong at this point, based on the reviews I’ve read so far. [shrug]. I’m sure I’ll have more to say about it once I get to test it.
  • FormerFF We bought three new and one used car last year, so we won't be visiting any showrooms this year unless a meteor hits one of them. Sorry to hear that Mini has terminated the manual transmission, a Mini could be a fun car to drive with a stick.It appears that 2025 is going to see a significant decrease in the number of models that can be had with a stick. The used car we bought is a Mk 7 GTI with a six speed manual, and my younger daughter and I are enjoying it quite a lot. We'll be hanging on to it for many years.
  • Oberkanone Where is the value here? Magna is assembling the vehicles. The IP is not novel. Just buy the IP at bankruptcy stage for next to nothing.
  • Jalop1991 what, no Turbo trim?
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