Real Hoopties of New Jersey: Duct Tape Can't Fix This!

real hoopties of new jersey duct tape cant fix this

New Jersey Motorsports Park has a very fast road course that lets most LeMons drivers keep the hammer down much of the time… and that means stuff is going to break. Lots of stuff.

The Bondo, James Bondo Rover V8-swapped Triumph TR7 shorted out its (Lucas) coil and caught on fire early in the day. The team replaced the cooked ’62 Buick carburetor with a junkyard Quadrajet, and then another engine fire ate that carb. None of this surprised anyone, but we think the Triumph should do just fine on Sunday.

Dave Morrow’s blown-V6-powered Bradley GT was doing pretty well (other than the utterly terrifying handling) until a wheel hub failed. A bit of welding made it good as new… for a half-lap. The team has a line on some Beetle parts that should get the Bradley back in action tomorrow morning.

Other than some chronic overheating problems, the Pontiac 400-powered Toyota Supra “Judge” of Morrow’s Auto was doing pretty well. Then all the cars started spinning out in a huge oil slick, while the Judge sat nearby in a cloud of smoke. Goodbye, engine!

To get a sense of the devastation, here’s a pushrod that Dave found in a pool of oil on the flatbed; that’s right, it shot out the bottom of the 400. If you’re going to blow up your engine, it’s best to go out in dramatic fashion!

Meanwhile, a Firebird puked a rod through the oil pan on the other side of the track, at about the same moment. Oil-soaked chaos!

Here’s something that duct tape can fix: the Speedycop Lancia ScorpionR2 plowed into the back of another car after a tangled E30-on-E30 conflict dragged several not-so-innocent bystanders into a bodywork-bashing incident. Fortunately, no cars suffered showstopping crash damage.

The Schumacher Taxi Service Camry V6-swapped MR2 proved somewhat less than reliable, spinning a pair of rod bearings. The team couldn’t find new bearings at any parts stores in the area.

However, they did have some oversized Toyota bearings. So, they opted for the Field Expedient Engineering version of a precision machine shop: an angle grinder C-clamped to a trailer fender. They’ll just grind down the bearings to fit the Camry rods, problem solved!

Might as well try, right? The faceted surface of the angle-grinder-modified bearings didn’t look promising, but the Schumachers installed them anyway. Hey, why won’t the engine turn over?

No, the modified bearings didn’t fit. However, the team did have more success fixing the axle that was a couple inches too long: they shortened and sleeved it. Should work great!

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  • Athos Nobile Athos Nobile on Apr 10, 2011
    The Schumacher Taxi Service Camry V6-swapped MR2 proved somewhat less than reliable, spinning a pair of rod bearings. The team couldn’t find new bearings at any parts stores in the area. How come? Isn't the Camry the best selling car in America for almost 10 years now?

    • Buzz Killington Buzz Killington on Apr 10, 2011

      Because stores these days don't stock anything. Plenty of folks could get them by Monday, though. And all the salvage yards closed about 30 minutes before we determined the bearing modification wouldn't work. Lesson: bring m0ar spares. The axle fix worked brilliantly, though.

  • Golden2husky Golden2husky on Apr 10, 2011

    Love that sleeved shaft!!

  • Terelaad The entire plant is just a toy for the rich.
  • Seanx37 If it made economic sense, it would have happened decades ago. No one would insure such places. And few are going to take $60-150k electric cars off road unless they are very wealthy
  • MaintenanceCosts Seems pretty obvious that they're leaving room for a SRT with the 2.0T and the electric motor. The R/T will probably be slower than the GT given the extra weight, but without the 9-speed it will be a much nicer drive.
  • Art Vandelay Lawyers would Eff it up. That and the NIMBYS. I agree with you, but it ain't gonna happen
  • EBFlex They are getting rid of the Charger and Challenger for a modern day Neon?just end it Dodge, you had a great run