What's Wrong With This Picture: Truth In Bumper Stickers Edition
Bumper stickers are a controversial subject, quite apart from the often-divisive sentiments they express. Most of us are either pro-bumper sticker or anti, and once we’ve decided which we are, there’s little chance of ever going back. Personally, I fall into the “anti” camp. You might think that someone who spends his time writing about the intersection of cars, culture and politics might embrace the bumper sticker medium, but I’ve never been a big fan. Perhaps the limitations of the format are what bothers me: not only does it require broadcasting deeply-held beliefs in ultra-condensed, often over-simplified messages, but it also requires a long-term commitment to the cause in question. Perhaps my political and personal views have changed too often to justify dedicating my mobile real estate to any particular opinion. In any case, this is the kind of bumper sticker I can absolutely get behind: timeless, true and a winking critique of the “flex fuel,” biodiesel and other pious stickers advertising alternative-energy-derived moral superiority. Deep down, perhaps we’re all pro-bumper sticker… some of us just haven’t found the right one yet.
As briefly mentioned in another thread, I've always thought it would be fun to put bumper stickers on other peoples' cars. So, you find some big honkin' pickup with stickers that say, "I'll Keep My Guns And Money, You Keep The Change" and "Ron Paul Was Right" and add one that says, "GO VEGAN!". Someone else pointed out an idea for making little add-on stickers that you'd append to existing ones, so you could take, "War Is Not The Answer" and add on the bottom, "...Wait, What Was The Question Again?" Back in the real world, one of the guys who used to work for us had a bumper sticker that said, "Shit Happens When You Party Naked". Can't argue with that, I guess.
I'm anti-sticker too, but one of my favourites is: "Sorry for driving so close in front of you."
My all-time favourite is "Back off or I'll fart", last seen on a slow-moving Caddy with the left turn signal perpetually blinking. Truth in advertising indeed.
I hate bumper stickers because there is very little I care about more than cars, and my car in particuar, if I'm honest. No special cause or opinion is worth the rear-end molesting paint fading that comes with putting a bumper sticker on my car. But appreciating clever word play, my favorite one (seen only once) said "Eschew Obfuscation."