ARMORED CAR WITHOUT PENIS. LET'S SAVE THE WHALES. [Actual Press Release]

Robert Farago
by Robert Farago

One month ago DARTZ presented uberluxury armored car with whale penis interior – PROMBRON’ (ex.RussoBaltique), lot of people name this car as DARTZ.KOMBAT. As the world’s resonance was very huge and DARTZ got lot of angry e-mails from Greenpeace, WWF and also Pamela Anderson, DARTZ make strong decision to stop their plans regarding such interior.“We have no any ideas to kill the whale or something like that. All we want – to make just luxury car. Real luxury car which will be world number one car. Our brand was started at 1869 when in Riga was opened Coach Factory or Russo Baltiysky Vagonnij Zavod – PBVZ, and first products was luxury train coaches. At 1907 was made a decision to open Car Department, and at 1909 first car left factory – the name of this car was RussoBalt. This was luxury and sport cars. At 1911 specially for Monaco Rally car got french style name – RussoBaltique. At 1912 factory made world first 4 x 4 wheel drive car, and at 1914 – armored car. All we want to unite luxury and armoring traditions of RussoBalt factory in one car, which brand celebrated 100 years now. At 1922 RussoBalt was renamed to PROMBRON’ (ex.RussoBalt).We just looking for most expensive products for this car – and that’s why we choosed whale penis leathure when we checked it is most of most. After wave of protest we realised our mistake and make a decision not to use natural leathure at all. We will focus on world most advanced nanotechnologies to achieve interior highest quality using artificial materials which also was never used for cars. We want to tell our hello to all whales: “Our Sea Brothers! We all know that earth are stand on three whales – we will keep You live! We don’t Earth fall down to Ocean!”Also we make a decision to pay more attention to glass and on our new car model we will use glass which will be made by special technology – from artificial grown chrystals, which will be gold sputerred to cut IR and UV rays, which make driving inconvinient when sun shine.Best regards,Leonard F. Yankelovich DARTZ.EU[thanks to Jameslist.com for the heads-up]

Robert Farago
Robert Farago

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  • Arthur Dailey The longest we have ever kept a car was 13 years for a Kia Rondo. Only ever had to perform routine 'wear and tear' maintenance. Brake jobs, tire replacements, fluids replacements (per mfg specs), battery replacement, etc. All in all it was an entirely positive ownership experience. The worst ownership experiences from oldest to newest were Ford, Chrysler and Hyundai.Neutral regarding GM, Honda, Nissan (two good, one not so good) and VW (3 good and 1 terrible). Experiences with other manufacturers were all too short to objectively comment on.
  • MaintenanceCosts Two-speed transfer case and lockable differentials are essential for getting over the curb in Beverly Hills to park on the sidewalk.
  • MaintenanceCosts I don't think any other OEM is dumb enough to market the system as "Full Self-Driving," and if it's presented as a competitor to SuperCruise or the like it's OK.
  • Oberkanone Tesla license their skateboard platforms to other manufacturers. Great. Better yet, Tesla manufacture and sell the platforms and auto manufacturers manufacture the body and interiors. Fantastic.
  • ToolGuy As of right now, Tesla is convinced that their old approach to FSD doesn't work, and that their new approach to FSD will work. I ain't saying I agree or disagree, just telling you where they are.
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