Wild Ass Rumor of the Day: Chrysler to Add Ram Brand? Kill Chrysler? Something? Nothing?

Robert Farago
by Robert Farago

AutoExtremist Peter DeLorenzo is an asshole. Just kidding. Somehow, the carmudgeon got it into his head that TTAC (a.k.a. TIC-TAC) called him an asshole. Did we call him an asshole? Of course we didn’t call him an asshole. We don’t call anyone an asshole. Delusional, sure. Misguided? Oh yeah, we’ve called people misguided. Pietro too. But calling someone an asshole is a perfect example of what the Brits call “using a sledgehammer to open a walnut.” It shows no style, no finesse, no class. Two out of three ain’t bad, as we Yanks are wont to say. I mention all this because Sweet Pete is launching the rumor (picked up by Autoblog) that Chrysler will launch a fourth US brand called Ram. Obviously, that makes no sense whatsoever—which is why the AutoExtremist offers no explanatory justification and Autoblog sucks away the oxygen of publicity even as it wheels-in Peter’s tank (couldn’t resist).

We don’t get how this could possibly be a good idea, considering Chrysler’s financial position and struggling sales. Why spend money marketing a new brand, while asking battle-weary dealers to invest in more signage and differentiated floor space? At this point, its just speculation and we’re hoping it stays that way.

‘Cause we’re pulling for you guys! Meanwhile, you wanna talk about signage and floor space? Does anyone remember that Chrysler has already committed to introducing the Alfa-Romeo brand stateside? We hear an entirely different rumor surrounding that one . . .

I’ve got it from two sources that Chrysler’s contemplating killing the Chrysler brand. I know: the company’s called Chrysler. So I called the company to get their official response to the wacky idea that Chrysler would replace Chrysler with Alfa. Chrysler spokesman Rick Deneau was MOST insistent that there was nothing to the idea.

“We have four brands going forward,” Rick said. “Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep and Mopar. We’ve already said we’re bringing in Alfa-Romeo, but the timing on the brand’s introduction remains to be decided.” Products for [both of the remaining] American Alfisti? “Undecided.” How Alfa and Chrysler could co-exist? “Undecided.”

Meanwhile, Sweet Pete awards Jaguar an up-arrow for killing the X-Type. As an indication that the brand is on the ups, no. As a sign that Tata may actually have a clue what on Earth a Jaguar’s for, it’s not the worst.

Robert Farago
Robert Farago

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  • Philbailey Philbailey on Jul 31, 2009

    The original phrase is actually "Using a steam hammer to crack a walnut", but frankly, my dear.... Your original description of De Lorenzo (the one you didn't use, really) is accurate and indisputable.

  • Campisi Campisi on Aug 01, 2009

    Why all the hating on DeLorenzo about this? He triple-demerits Chrysler about the rumour and even states the following in regards to it: ... the "word" on the street here in the Motor City is that Chrysler is expanding to four brands, which will consist of Chrysler, Dodge (car), Jeep, and Ram (truck). What part of this seemed to be a good idea? The "not selling" part or the "more" part? As we like to say around here at AE, you just can't make this shit up. He acknowledges that this is a rumour and states how idiotic it is. It is identical to the TTAC stand on the issue.

  • Lynchenstein @EBFlex - All ICEs are zero-emission until you start them up. Except my mom's old 95 Accord, that used to emit oil onto the ground quite a lot.
  • Charles The UAW makes me the opposite of patriotic
  • El scotto Wranglers are like good work boots, you can't make them any better. Rugged four wheel drive vehicles which ironically make great urban vehicles. Wagoneers were like handbags desired by affluent women. They've gone out of vogue. I can a Belgian company selling Jeep and Ram Trucks to a Chinese company.
  • El scotto So now would be a good time to buy an EV as a commuter car?
  • ToolGuy $1 billion / 333.3 million = $3 per U.S. person ¶ And what do I get for my 3 bucks -- cleaner air and lower fuel prices? I might be ok with this 🙂🙂