Bailout Watch 324: U.S. Porn Industry Wants A Suckle (Car Reference at End of Post)
India’s Economic Times can’t believe it: “Porn baron Larry Flynt says that the US Government should help rejuvenate the industry, which has been bearing the brunt of the ongoing global economic crisis, with a financial assistance of five billion dollars. The Hustler magazine founder has even joined forces with ‘Girls Gone Wild’ video series’ creator Joe Francis to approach Congress so as to sustain the same kind of financial aid as was recently approved for automakers.”
A Bollywood fantasy? No, says Xbiz Newswire, the adult entertainment industry news authority. Xbiz says Flint and Francis are serious. Or at least seriously looking for headlines. Xbiz talked to Larry Flint’s flak Owen Moogan, who made a compelling case: “With the Big Three automakers asking for assistance, and with banks asking for assistance, we thought, ‘Why not us?’ The adult industry is another great American business entity. We represent the all-American pursuit of sexual gratification.”
Flynt said the recession has deeply affected the adult industry because “people are too depressed to be sexually active. This is a very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such, but they cannot do without sex. It’s time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.” Congress better hustle, then. Depression diminishes sexual appetite. Less babies are born. Less people. Less buyers. Less cars.
Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.
More by Bertel Schmitt
Comments
Join the conversation
Okay, this is just too funny. It's exactly what so many of us have warned about, but with all of the quips above, I'm laughing so hard I can't think of anything clever to say!
Nope, thanks to the net, porn of all stripes is free and as close as any search engine. Better for you guys when porn was sold in plain brown wrappers, by guys who charged a lot for it. It was something you could not get easily anywhere else. Playboy pushed it sorta into the mainstream, and Hugh is still an icon. Kinda like when detroit had a 50% market share. Today you can go elsewhere, it's a lot cheaper, and the quality is better. The old school porn industry is JUST like the old school 2.3 makers. An old product, made shoddily, sold at high prices to an otherwise captive audience. Except that world is gone, along with corporate loyalty, defined benefit pensions and any concept that those running things have a clue.